and Full Bar
The Church of Bob
Six Intimate {heaters
Coming on down from a giddy experience
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ude, I hope I get picked as a contest
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Heh-heh.”
“No respect," I grumbled to myself
while listening to the stoner standing
in line beside me for a taping of The Price Is Right.
Well, we weren’t exactly standing. More like
huddling—on a chilly Hollywood sidewalk camped
outside CBS Television City.
The endurance test was all for the love of
Bob—Barker, that is, the iconic game show host
who’s calling it quits at the end of the season after
50 years in television, 35 of which were spent on
TPIR. In other words, my entire life. Talk about
a fixture. And unlike Johnny Carson—Bob’s late-
night equivalent—I didn’t have to wait until I was
older to get hooked on his show. Bob represents the
happiest times in my childhood: vegging at home
in the middle of a lazy summer, while being thor
oughly entertained by a randy charmer with a dis
dain for overbids and a passion for homeless pets.
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My rapturous moment at the altar.
I picked up the habit again last September. At
the time 1 was bummed and busy and barely had
the time for television. But something told me to
make an exception for TPIR; after all, it’s the only
show on TV that’s guaranteed to bring a smile to
my face—and often tears to my eyes, when a lucky
contestant wins a car against all odds.
A month later, Bob announced the dreaded
news. Considering he’s 83, it doesn’t come as a sur
prise that he’s retiring. But for a fanatic like me, this
is going to be like coming down from a strong drug.
I love TPIR. Everything about the show is
delightful: Barker’s Beauties (one who sued for sex
ism, one who sued for sizism, one who claimed her
missing husband was a CIA spy, one who was stu
pid enough to marry Ian Ziering)...the variety of
games (my favorite being the easy “Clock Game,”
my least favorite being the overrated
“Plinko”)...the interactive aspect (the audience is
encouraged to “<x)h,” “ahh” and offer loud advice)...
the random prizes (a golf cart—for a crowd full of
college students?!).
But most of all, there’s Bob. When he goes off
the air, game shows will never be the same. As
it stands, all that’s left on daytime television is
a weak Family Feud hosted by John O’Hurley, aka
J. Peterman from Seinfeld, who is one of several
candidates under consideration to (shudder)
replace Bob. The others include Saved by the Bell’s
Mario Lopez, The Young and the Restless’ Doug
Davidson and George Fucking Hamilton. (I know!)
Jim's Closet
BY JIM RADOSTA
Rosie O’Donnell has also expressed interest in the
position. Wouldn’t that be something.
Anyway, now that I’ve made a case for my
obsession, you might be able to understand how
1 ended up shivering on the comer of Beverly and
Fairfax with a few modest goals in mind:
• To hear the words “J immy Radosta, come on
down! You’re the next contest
ant on The Price Is Right!”
• To kick ass, after years of
obsessive price memorization.
(For example, the sunflower
seeds are always $1.09, and the
yellow Mustangs are always
around $20,000.)
• To be Bob’s most beloved
contestant ever, after charming
him with stories about how I used
to impersonate him with my
Mr. Microphone...how I used to
write letters to the producers, beg
ging them to bend the rule ban
ning minors from attending tap
ings. . .how 1 used to draw pictures
of myself walking “The Golden
Road” (actually, that’s my favorite game)...how
1 hammed it up in a sketch at YMCA summer camp
as a nauseated game show host named “Bob Barfer.”
Whoa, did I just put that into print for public
consumption? Am 1 crazy or something?
Crazy about Bob. Damn straight.
And I was surrounded by hundreds of other
devotees who felt the same way. In line, wearing
a customized T-shirt emblazoned with the procla
mation “35: Bom to Come on Down,” I befriended
a fun group of women who met at college in Fargo,
N.D., one of whom ended up winning $100 playing
“Punch-a-Bunch.”
As for me, even though my name wasn’t called,
I enjoyed myself immensely. It’s probably the
closest this atheist will ever come to feeling the
“Holy Ghost Power!”
I learned later that New York Times reporter
Edward Wyatt was at the same taping, according to
his May 15 article, which beautifully stated the
special appeal of Bob: “His great strength, and
certainly the key to his longevity, is that, whatever
happens to the contestants, he is able to have them
leave happy, feeling unjudged and appreciated.”
Amen. ©
T he P rice I s R ight airs 10 a.m. weekdays on
CBS. Catch it while you can.
Arts and Culture Editor J IM R adosta needs your
feedback. Write to jhn@justout.com.