justout 17
Happy New Year!
Resolutions take lasting commitment
f you are one of the many people who have
made the resolution to get into shape or to quit
smoking, congratulations! When clients come
to me seeking a radical change, we kxik at all of
the influences—past, present and future—that
may have an impact on the desired outcome.
Nutrition and exercise are the obvious factors
•in achieving your fitness goals, hut less often
considered are the equally important psychological
factors such as being sure that you are staying
realistic with your goal setting and anticipating
responses from others, as well as yourself.
Diets don’t work long term, but moderate
changes in our diet can have a lasting effect on how
we feel. You are less likely to rebel against moderate
changes in your diet, like using organic ingredients
or less butter or making that fast-food-style burrito
at home. Whether or not you want to lose weight,
we all have rixim for improvement when it comes to
how we eat. Close your eyes and think back to a
time in your life when you felt really gixxl, had
energy, etc. and then try to remember how you ate
at that time. Do these fixxls appeal to you now?
They are most likely going to have more appeal than
something foreign or a restrictive regimen. Try not
to equate the time when you felt gixxl and had more
energy to how thin you were, especially if you were
a party child of the ’80s.
Prior to beginning a fitness program, establish a
baseline for yourself by defining what “in shape”
means to you. Plan how, when and where you’ll
exercise, and write it out. If you are a beginner at
all of this, pursue your exercise goals one week at a
I
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Dear Ethel
BY MARIA CALLAHAN
time, and assess what’s working and what isn’t
working after four weeks. Chart your progress. If
weight loss is your goal, put a tighter-fitting pair of
pants in a drawer and try them on monthly.
Remember that lasting change takes-time. Weigh
yourself no more than once each week, not daily.
Your daily weight naturally fluctuates, and that can
be unnecessarily discouraging information. If you
want to establish a baseline another way, try using
how far you can walk or run right now, before need
ing to stop and rest. Challenge yourself by going all
out and writing down the results. You can assess
these types of fitness-based challenges weekly, and
if you’ve got the intensity where it needs to be,
you’ll see an improvement quickly.
Set goals, and “clear the path.” I’m always
impressed with clients who chixise the less-than-
popular goals like becoming more flexible rather
than dropping dramatic amounts of weight. 1 know
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from my own experience that it’s hard to gain
support from friends and family when your goals
differ from theirs. My friends thought 1 was crazy
when I started exercising, so 1 hired a new friend: a
personal trainer. If you’ve ever tried to quit smok
ing but had a partner or other significant person in
your life who smoked, you understand this obstacle.
1 spoke fo therapist Reid Vanderburgh specifi
cally about loved ones who, knowingly or not,
impede our success when we try to change.
Vanderburgh, a specialist in gender identity and
transgender issues, says: “People often base some
portion of their own identity on the identity of
others, and this can play out in any transition. For
instance, mothers of trans men hate to ‘lose’ a
daughter. They’ve based part of their own identity
on having a daughter. In terms of weight loss, this
might apply to a partner who secretly fears their
partner will feel more attractive and may leave
them. People sometimes try to hold others back
from actualizing a dream because it’s secretly their
dream, too, but they feel unable to take the plunge.
They’re actually envious.”
Prepare for success, not failure. If you’ve tried
getting into shape millions of times before without
success, Vanderburgh suggests chixising a different
goal, or one that will improve your life no matter
what. Getting what you want isn’t always as great or
easy as it sounds—you might even want to acclimate
to achievement and success by experiencing a series
of smaller successes in the beginning. Some people
even tell of feeling really angry after losing a signifi
cant amount of weight. Of this Vanderburgh says:
“Be prepared for the possibility of internal backlash.
Try to normalize the types of changes you will
experience, because you may experience backlash
when you change radically."
He adds: “Remember that all of your problems
will not go away spontaneously if you lose weight.
We have a cultural ethic to take care of others
before we take care of ourselves, when really, the
reverse should he true. Remember that the only
lifelong relationship we have is with ourselves.
Goals are to better yourself, not to please others."
And finally, here’s something I do personally:
Take one week (mostly) off from heavy physical
activity every six weeks or so. If you’ve suddenly
gone from computer programmer into combat para
trooper, you can expect feedback of some sort from
your kxly—hopefully not in the form of an injury.
Lying on the couch for a couple of evenings in a
row in those instances is not failure; it’s a gixxl
example of the common sense we all possess. Best
of luck! ©
For more information contact R eid VANDERBURGH
at 503-341 -7001 or www.transtherapist.com or read
his book, Transition and Beyond: Observations on
Gender Identity. Check out
www.exercisefriends.com to find an exercise partner.
Information in this column should not be used in
place of advice from a licensed health care
professional. If you have a health or fitness question,
e-mail D ear E thel at manacallahan@gmail.com or
visit www.mariacallahan.net.