justout 17 Happy New Year! Resolutions take lasting commitment f you are one of the many people who have made the resolution to get into shape or to quit smoking, congratulations! When clients come to me seeking a radical change, we kxik at all of the influences—past, present and future—that may have an impact on the desired outcome. Nutrition and exercise are the obvious factors •in achieving your fitness goals, hut less often considered are the equally important psychological factors such as being sure that you are staying realistic with your goal setting and anticipating responses from others, as well as yourself. Diets don’t work long term, but moderate changes in our diet can have a lasting effect on how we feel. You are less likely to rebel against moderate changes in your diet, like using organic ingredients or less butter or making that fast-food-style burrito at home. Whether or not you want to lose weight, we all have rixim for improvement when it comes to how we eat. Close your eyes and think back to a time in your life when you felt really gixxl, had energy, etc. and then try to remember how you ate at that time. Do these fixxls appeal to you now? They are most likely going to have more appeal than something foreign or a restrictive regimen. Try not to equate the time when you felt gixxl and had more energy to how thin you were, especially if you were a party child of the ’80s. Prior to beginning a fitness program, establish a baseline for yourself by defining what “in shape” means to you. Plan how, when and where you’ll exercise, and write it out. If you are a beginner at all of this, pursue your exercise goals one week at a I Low Rates! Callus Today! Dear Ethel BY MARIA CALLAHAN time, and assess what’s working and what isn’t working after four weeks. Chart your progress. If weight loss is your goal, put a tighter-fitting pair of pants in a drawer and try them on monthly. Remember that lasting change takes-time. Weigh yourself no more than once each week, not daily. Your daily weight naturally fluctuates, and that can be unnecessarily discouraging information. If you want to establish a baseline another way, try using how far you can walk or run right now, before need ing to stop and rest. Challenge yourself by going all out and writing down the results. You can assess these types of fitness-based challenges weekly, and if you’ve got the intensity where it needs to be, you’ll see an improvement quickly. Set goals, and “clear the path.” I’m always impressed with clients who chixise the less-than- popular goals like becoming more flexible rather than dropping dramatic amounts of weight. 1 know It’s Our Job Making Dreams Come True! Rick a Deborah... Your New ‘Family’ Connection For All Your Mortgage Needs! 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If you’ve ever tried to quit smok ing but had a partner or other significant person in your life who smoked, you understand this obstacle. 1 spoke fo therapist Reid Vanderburgh specifi cally about loved ones who, knowingly or not, impede our success when we try to change. Vanderburgh, a specialist in gender identity and transgender issues, says: “People often base some portion of their own identity on the identity of others, and this can play out in any transition. For instance, mothers of trans men hate to ‘lose’ a daughter. They’ve based part of their own identity on having a daughter. In terms of weight loss, this might apply to a partner who secretly fears their partner will feel more attractive and may leave them. People sometimes try to hold others back from actualizing a dream because it’s secretly their dream, too, but they feel unable to take the plunge. They’re actually envious.” Prepare for success, not failure. If you’ve tried getting into shape millions of times before without success, Vanderburgh suggests chixising a different goal, or one that will improve your life no matter what. Getting what you want isn’t always as great or easy as it sounds—you might even want to acclimate to achievement and success by experiencing a series of smaller successes in the beginning. Some people even tell of feeling really angry after losing a signifi cant amount of weight. Of this Vanderburgh says: “Be prepared for the possibility of internal backlash. Try to normalize the types of changes you will experience, because you may experience backlash when you change radically." He adds: “Remember that all of your problems will not go away spontaneously if you lose weight. We have a cultural ethic to take care of others before we take care of ourselves, when really, the reverse should he true. Remember that the only lifelong relationship we have is with ourselves. Goals are to better yourself, not to please others." And finally, here’s something I do personally: Take one week (mostly) off from heavy physical activity every six weeks or so. If you’ve suddenly gone from computer programmer into combat para trooper, you can expect feedback of some sort from your kxly—hopefully not in the form of an injury. Lying on the couch for a couple of evenings in a row in those instances is not failure; it’s a gixxl example of the common sense we all possess. Best of luck! © For more information contact R eid VANDERBURGH at 503-341 -7001 or www.transtherapist.com or read his book, Transition and Beyond: Observations on Gender Identity. Check out www.exercisefriends.com to find an exercise partner. Information in this column should not be used in place of advice from a licensed health care professional. If you have a health or fitness question, e-mail D ear E thel at manacallahan@gmail.com or visit www.mariacallahan.net.