SaJUStjOUt
tftTQESR 6.2OTS
Rosie vs. Ellen
a GAY SKATE
COSTUME
CONTEST!
OAKS PARK ROLLER RINK
OCTOBER 16TH, 7-9 PM
donation of food
or sundry Items
PRIZES! PRIZES!
PRIZtS!
It's the battle of the lesbian chat show hosts!
ommy, when am 1 going to get
my fur?”
Within 10 minutes of her
debut on The View, Rosie
O’Donnell was already talking
about her pubic hair. Somewhere, Kathie Lee
Gifford must’ve been choking on her Rice Krispies.
It’s great to have Rosie back where she belongs,
instead of producing Broadway bombs (Taboo star­
ring Boy George) and getting lousy haircuts (“an
error of epic proportions,” she admits in hindsight).
Her fun-loving neuroses bring some much-needed
levity to the multigenerational cluckfest, which was
faltering with the lineup of soccer mom Meredith
Vieria, newly svelte fag hag Star Jones, right-wing
lunatic Elisabeth Hasselbeck, bitter comic Joy Behar
and humorless prune Barbara Walters.
Earlier this year Jones dug her own grave with
egomaniacal ramblings about her “marriage” to Al
Reynolds. Producers fired her for the most legiti­
mate of reasons: Audiences hated her.
Vieria, meanwhile, accepted a big promotion as
Katie Couric’s replacement on Today, jumping ship
faster than you can say, “Enjoy the view.” The
show’s loss was our gain, because the Queen of Nice
was lured back to daytime television for the first
time since The Rosie O'Donnell fhow went off the
air in 2002—shortly after she came out of the
closet in support of Steve Lofton and Roger
Croteau, the Portland couple who are fighting
Florida’s ban on gay adoption.
to be a painfully awkward hour of mismatched
personalities talking over one another. These broads
earn an F in chemistry.
or those who prefer their lesbian talk show hosts
to be more jovial and G-rated, switch channels
to The Ellen DeGeneres Show, which has entered its
fourth successful season. We also owe a lot to
Ellen...but not for this sanitized, feel-good version
of her.
Fortunately, she picks other opportunities to
raise dyke visibility, including her widely praised
post-9/11 appearance as host of the Emmy Awards.
During the opening monologue she quipped, “We’re
told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do
otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really what
would upset the Taliban more than a gay woman
wearing a suit in front of a room full of Jews.”
Ellen will reach an even wider audience next
year: The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and
Sciences announced Sept. 7 that she has been
tapped to host the Oscars. (Mark your calendars for
Feb. 25, 2007.)
Of course, her most significant contribution to
queer culture came nine years ago (!) on her sitcom
Ellen. Perfectly timed for National Coming Out
Day on Oct. 11. the show’s groundbreaking fourth
season has just been released on DVD. It’s an
incredible journey to relive, from the opening
scene of the first episode, in which the previous­
:rom left, Rosie O'Donnell bonds with Barbara
ly asexual Ellen Morgan hints at things to come:
Walters, Joy Behar and Elisabeth Hasselbeck.
“1 feel pretty and witty and...hey!”
That first episode was a doozy, with Rosie casu­
Throughout the rest of the season, she meets with
ally pointing out her partner, Kelli, in the audience
a string of shrinks to discuss what’s missing in her life.
and sharing stories about their four kids just like
The answer doesn’t come until “The Puppy
any proud mother. Later on, the show devoted an
Episode"—the ultimate Very Special Episode, at least
entire segment to what Rosie’s been up to during
tor homos—when a lesbian television producer
the past several years: her San Francisco marriage
(Laura Dem) questions her sexuality. The star-
(and its subsequent dissolution by the California
studded climax also featured appearances from Oprah
Supreme Court), her pio­
Winfrey, Melissa Etheridge, k.d. lang,
neering cniise for gay
Gina Gershon and Demi Moore.
families and her foundation
These 60 minutes represent tele­
to introduce inner-city kids
—» r
vision at its finest. It was a major
T
to musical theater. (See, we
turning point not only for Ellen but
do recmit!) Since then she’s
for queers watching from home, who
also mouthed off about the
finally knew that we had truly
arrived.
©
war, bravely reminding
Hasselbeck, “Radical Chris­
tianity is just as threatening
as radical Islam.”
1 can’t imagine the eyes
she must be opening among
sheltered housewives across
middle America. We owe a
lot to Rosie...even though
1 ultimately find the show
T he V iew airs 10 a m. weekdays on
KATU-TV Channel 2. T he E llen
D e G eneres S how airs 4 p.m.
weekdays on KOIN-TV Channel 6.
Ellen DeGeneres presents a
more sanitized version of
herself on daytime television.
Arts and Culture Editor J1M RAPOSTA
needs yourfeedback. Write to
jim@iustout.com.