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Violence Hits Home
Sexual minorities are at risk for partner abuse
by Julie Sabatier
| wo mornings in a row, Steve Holt woke up
to the same story on rhe news. A man had
been found dead in a Southeast Portland
home July 13. The cause of death was
listed as "homicidal violence,” and the
victim’s partner, Jeffrey Rogers, was arrested in
connection with the murder. The body had been in
the bathtub, packed with frozen food, for days.
It was only after hearing this gruesome report
for the second time that Holt got the phone call
from his sister telling him the victim in the bath­
tub had been their uncle, Timmy Gripp.
Gripp, 50, had lived in Portland for 35 years.
“He came to Portland [from Molalla) to make his
life over when he was 15,” Holt explained. “He had
a rough childhood, and he moved away from that.”
Gripp, who worked odd jobs as a waiter and house­
cleaner, built a close circle of friends in his chosen
hometown.
A talented, self-taught pianist, Gripp had a
knack for entertaining. “He was truly a happy, fun­
loving person,” said Holt. “He was very contagious
in a good way—he was so fun to be around.” There
were three separate memorials to celebrate Gripp’s
life, including a disco dance party at the Space
Room, where he was a regular customer.
Gripp’s death comes just one year after police
were summoned to his home on a domestic vio­
lence call, which ended with Rogers in handcuffs.
Apparently, no charges were filed.
Rogers, who spent seven years in prison on a rob­
bery conviction, presented himself at Central Pre­
cinct at 3 a.m. July 13. He led police to Gripp’s body.
“We can’t say with a lot of certainty when
[Gripp] died,” said Detective John Rhodes. “He was
last seen alive three to five days before his body was
discovered, but we don’t know how long his body
was in that location or if his body was moved from
some other location where he was killed. The
defendant didn’t share details with us.”
Holt said of the circumstances surrounding
Gripp’s death, “It is what it is: domestic violence.”
“That story really breaks my heart because 1
think that even if [Gripp] had called me, 1 wouldn’t
have known what to tell him,” said Emily Gardner,
sexual and gender minority services coordinator for
Bradley-Angle House, the oldest domestic violence
agency on the West Coast.
Gay male survivors of domestic abuse have few
options when it comes to support. Their best bet is
to call a hot line, such as Bradley-Angle’s crisis line,
and hope to be granted a hotel voucher for an
overnight stay. Safe Communities Northwest holds
| a biweekly support group for gay, bi and trans men
who have experienced domestic or sexual violence,
j but it is not able to offer any kind of emergency
shelter or transitional housing.
The only shelter for battered gay men in the
United States is the Gay Men’s Domestic Violence
Project in Boston.
Portlander Timmy Gripp died at the hands of his partner in July.
According to The American Bar Association
Journal, the prevalence of domestic violence among
ing and dealing with domestic violence. “People
what’s going on rather than just the snapshot of the
gay and lesbian couples is approximately 25 percent
who are trans are targeted for violence in general,
incident that brings them to services.”
to 33 percent, making it as common as it is in
and so even though it’s a hard subject to talk about,
Gardner recently formed the Queer Caucus, a
heterosexual relationships. Accurate statistics
it’s important to talk about,” she said.
collection of people from about 20 different agen­
about domestic violence are difficult to pin down,
Just as there are many misconceptions about
cies that provide sexual assault and domestic
however, because incidents often go unreported, a
sexual minorities, there are pervasive fallacies about
violence survivor services in Portland. The group
problem that is magnified in the queer community.
domestic abuse within the queer community.
meets every fourth Wednesday at Emanuel Hospital
“There’s definitely a lot of anecdotal evidence out
“Within the context of lesbians, for example, a lot
to pool resources and hash out strategies for better
there that our agencies and law enforcement are
of people just don’t think it’s possible," said Cathy
ways to deal with assault in the sexual minorities
I still very homophobic,” said Gardner.
Robart of the Sexual Assault Resource Center.
community.
Gardner, a lesbian, conducts community educa­ “They think of lesbians as nurturing, not wanting to
The Queer Caucus was formed to help prevent
tion forums and sensitivity training for other
hurt other women, and if there’s not a specific
people like Timmy Gripp from falling through the
domestic violence and sexual assault advocacy
anatomy part involved, they don’t think it’s rape,
gaps in services by fighting against a common
groups in and around Portland. She says she spends
but when someone is penetrated by an object and
enemy: silence. “Everyone in the sexual minority
a lot of time debunking stereotypes and broadening
not a body part, that can be even more violating
community is so silenced as it is, even about
people’s understanding of the sexual minorities
and physically harmful to the survivor."
healthy sexuality, and they should not be afraid to
community.
Robart said the same goes for gay men: People
talk about it," said Robart. “We're all human, and
“I want to make sure people know how our often do not believe it’s possible for men to engage
people in our community abuse each other just like
people in the straight community." ©
mainstream society is still very homophobic and
in domestic abuse, and the issue of consent
has very distorted views of sexual minorities in
between two men can be easily misconstrued. “A
I general,” she said. “Once 1 talk about mainstream
lot of times people think that if a man forms an
Detective John Rhodes wishes to speak with anyone
homophobia, 1 explain internalized homophobia ' erection, that means that he enjoyed it when he
who had contact with TIMOTHY GRIPP m the days
and how that manifests as lateral oppression with­ J could have been assaulted by another man,” she
before his body was found. He can be reached at
in the community.” Gardner stressed that homo­ said. “People need to realize that men can form
503-823-0459.
phobia is often used as a weapon within same-sex
erections solely based on physiological stimulus.”
domestic violence situations.
If police or advocacy groups get a call in a
Resources
“In the queer community there is that same
domestic violence situation involving a same-sex
• Bradley Angle House: 503-281-2442
*
cycle of violence, but there are added things like
couple, there can be confusion about who is the vic­
or www.bradleyangle.org
threatening to ‘out’ someone. There’s a lot of tim and who is the abuser. “The physically larger
• Safe Communities Northwest: 503-203-5999
shame there,” said Sara K. Johnson, director of the
person—people could make the assumption that
or safecomnw@aol.com
| Portland Police Bureau’s WomenStrength program,
that person would be the abuser, and that is not
• Sexual Assault Resource Center: 503-640-5311
which offers free self-defense classes and personal
always the case,” said Gardner. "When you have
or www.sarcoregon.org
safety workshops to women and men.
two same-sex partners, you have to be more intu­
• WomenStrength: 503-823-0260
Johnson emphasized that transgender people
itive and questioning about what’s going on in the
or womenstrength@portlandpohce.org
are particularly vulnerable when it comes to report- • relationship. You have to get the movie version of
ERROR
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