2Q , JUStpUt , F ebruary
Atkinson
Memorial Church
SSM- SSUE-----------------
TH e
Unitarian
Universalist
A Welcoming
Congregation
Come Celebrate
with us!
Sunday Service
& Religious
Education
10:30 am
710 Sixth Street • Oregon City, OR 97045
www.atkin.sonchurch.com • (50.5)656-7296
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SLP
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Getting Off
Online
24 hours on Gay.tom finds Portland guys looking for sex, hoping for love
by Timothy Krause
AFFILIATED WITH ASSET PROTECTION GROUP
slpconsultants@aol.com
541-961-7785 • Toll Free: 1-888-756-0721
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sharing holier-than-thou attitudes.
“They want sex, hut they are too afraid of being
judged harshly for just saying it—so they them­
selves will he judgmental if you say, ‘Do you wanna
fuck?’ ” he rips. “I love it when you see,them on
Gay.com and then they have a profile on
Manhunt.net with a raunchy looking-for-sex pro­
file. When you chat with them on Gay.com, they
are just shocked and appalled that you talk to them
in a sexual manner.”
But it’s not all bad, especially for those who are
newly out or still questioning their sexuality. “For
that,” he says, “it’s a wonderful thing and might
make it easier for people to come out, to accept
themselves."
Soon a window pops up from SaoPaulo, 50, who
works in publishing. He’s a self described fag-next-
door and AIDS widow.
“I’m not necessarily here for a hookup
(although I certainly do not rule that out),” writes
hen I log in on a Friday afternoon and enter
SaoPaulo. “I honestly seek a like-minded guy for
one of the three active Portland chat rooms,
friendship and possible LTR. But if we must resort
there are 6.3 million profiles worldwide and some
to sex, well, twist my—er—arm.”
27,000 people online—211 from Oregon.
I randomly say hey to artist/designer Arsey, who
LTR is short for “long-term relationship,” some­
is chatting from work. Arsey is 43, HIV-positive
thing he already has with his live-in boyfriend, who
and looking for a “fellow explorer.” He’d been in a
incidentally he met online.
“It’s not a completely satisfactory relationship,
relationship for two years before moving to Oregon.
and I think we both know that,” he explains. “I see
He’s looking for locals, so I ask him how that’s
going.
other guys from rime to time, and he knows about
“Met some good guys, some flakes, some freaks,”
it. Basically, it’s an ‘affectionless’ relationship, and
he types hack. “Nothing different in my opinion
I’m wanting slightly more.”
you would meet at the bar scenes. Also started
What he gets online, though, is 90 percent con­
using Gay.com to find a quick lay in the late
versation—a consequence, he believes, of his age.
nights/early hours when you need to get a nut off
“I’m something of the tribal elder,” he says,
and you’re tired of using yourself. Considering most
“viewed as being somewhat harmless, something on
gay contacts involve religion or alcohol, Gay.com
the order of a royal eunuch.”
And while he’s made friends, there’s a new phe­
is a nice alternative to meet other gay men.”
nomenon happening: reconnecting with fellas who,
Later, I greet WMOO, a buddy I’ve known for
years hut met in person only once. This sharp 32- < for one reason or another, he lost touch with. “I
came thinking I’d find sex, but I found friends.
year-old doesn’t hold hack about the high number
of Portland flakes standing him up and assholes
I stayed for the community.”
ve always had a love-hate relationship with
Gay.com. It’s like television: an easy distrac­
tion if I’m hored, a destination if I’m randy;
it’s occasionally helpful (like when I practice
Spanish with hot Argentinians) hut largely
inane and whorish; it’s addictive, hut delivering
only enough to keep me wanting more.
Sex is unquestionably the common denomina­
tor, though you find heart-to-hearts as easily as
cam-to-cams. And over the course of any given
day, you can meet—or meet up with—a variety of
guys, from snipey escorts to wealthy attorneys,
closeted drag queens to straight boys who “party
and play” (meaning fuck while high on meth).
Take, for instance, the dudes I run into online
over one random 24-hour period in December,
together representing a virtual cross section of
Portland’s plug-and-play set.
A
X
on Gay.com. People are a lot
meaner online, too-
me induded-because you’re
not face to face, because you
can be. In a bar, if you're
mean, you'll get hit in the face
or kicked out or something.”
-Numbers