_________________________________________________ august 5. 2005 » j—t
ADVICE
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Nichiren Buddhist Temple of Portland offers
University Park United Methodist Church is
Ainsworth United Church of Christ is a
several weekly gathenngs Everyone welcome1
(10 am Sunday. 7.30 am Tuesday and Thursday
730 pm Wednesday meditation 2025 SE Yamhill
St. 503-232-8064 www nichiren-shu org/portland)
a small, diverse, open and progressive community of
faith that extends a warm welcome to all people
(10 am Sunday 4775 N Lombard St 503-289-7843
www.upumc.net.)
Life's a beach
multicultural, multiracial, open and affirming, just
peace congregation (2941 NE Ainsworth St
503 284 8767.)
Peace Church of the Brethren is a welcoming
congregation (11 am Sunday 12727 SE Market St
5032546380)
Waverly Heights United Church of Christ is
Anawim Community of gay men meets weekly
for Chnstian meditation and prayer (7 30 pm
Thursday 503-281-0722.)
Should I bring my boyfriend along
for this year’s family vacation?
Portland Center for Spiritual Growth is a
center for worship, growth and leadership that
adheres to an all-inclusive spintual philosophy similar
to 12-step. Unity and Religious Science. Impromptu
wedding ceremonies available (503 777-0727
www portlandcenter.org)
S I* I K IT U A LIT Y
Metro: Spirituality
Atkinson Memorial Church, a Umtanan
Umversalist church, provides a spiritual home for
those looking for a liberal-minded, supportive and
canng congregation in Oregon City (10:30 am
Sunday 710 Sixth St. 503-656 7296 )
Bridgeport United Church of Christ is a
community of progressive, political people explonng
and celebrating the Chnstian faith We are sexual
minority and straight, multicultural and multiracial,
and our children are valued members (10:30 am
Sunday 621 NE 76th Ave 503-258 0992
www bhdgeportucc. org.)
Community of Welcoming Congregations
an interfaith ministry of spiritual congregations in
Oregon and Southwest Washington that welcome
and affirm people of all sexual orientations, provides
pastoral care, advocacy, education and consultation.
(503-665-8741. 2025 NE 23rd St.. Gresham. Mailing
address: PO Box 14948. Portland. OP 97293
www. weleomingcongregations org.)
Congregation P'nai Or (Faces of Light) is a
vibrant, egalitarian, Jewish Renewal congregation in
Portland Meets several times a month at St Mark
Presbyterian Church (9750 SW Terwilliger Blvd
503-248 4500. www.pnaiorpdx org.)
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist
a welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service
and children s religious education (10:30 am
1133NE 181st Ave.. Gresham 503-665 2628
officeQeastrose org. www eastrose org.)
Eckankar—Religion of the Light and Sound
of God holds worship services and maintains a
library of matenals. Learn how you can work daily
with the Divine Spint in your own life. (10 am
Sunday. 7904 SE Milwaukie Ave. 503-233 1595
www eckankar org.)
Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month
with potlucks and circles at the full moon and the
new moon. Open to all men seeking alternative
spintual growth and community Coffee hours start
9 30 am Saturdays at 3 Friends Coffeehouse.
201 SE 12th Ave (503 235-0826 otterQpcez.com.)
Rose City Park Presbyterian Church
a member of the Community of Welcoming
Congregations and the Covenant Network of
Presbyterians, is a vibrant, inclusive community of
faith All God's children are welcome to join in our
life and worship (10 am Sunday 1907 NE 45th Ave
www rosecityparkpres org.)
Seventh-Day Adventist Kinship is a support
organization for former and current Adventists who
are queer as well as their family and fnends.
(PO Box 49375. Sarasota. FL 34230-6375
866- 732-5677. officeQsdakinship org
www. sdakinship. org.)
Soka Gakkai International a huge world peace
Buddhist organization, holds monthly Rainbow Group
meetings to talk about Buddhism and where queers
can become familiar with a philosophy that has
always had a place for everyone (1805 SE Ankeny
St. 503 230-1038 sgi-usa oregon.org.)
Southminster Presbyterian Church is an
active member of the Community of Welcoming
Congregations Sunday school, nursery care,
classes, community service activities and events for
all ages and interests. (9 am Sunday chapel service.
10 am Sunday mam worship service. 12250 SW
Denney Road. Beaverton. 503-644-2073.
staffQsouthmin. com. www southmin.com.)
Elevation, a gay Chnstian rock band, invites you to
join us for energetic, inspmng jams and powerful,
spintual messages at Metropolitan Community
Church of Portland (6 pm Sunday 2400 NE
Broadway 503-281 -8868)
St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a
diverse faith community for prayer and fellowship
(9 30 am Sunday: Noon Spanish language service
806 NE Alberta St. 503 281-4429 )
Enneagram Community of Portland offers
newly developing group connecting ancient traditions
and future visions to manifest liberty, peace and
justice Now meeting for discussion, study and
meditation. (Sarah 503 757-7545
www. stbrigidcac co. nr.)
mentoring, therapy, spiritual direction, classes,
workshops and retreats, (enneagrampdx&aol com
www. enneagramportland. com.)
Faith United Methodist Church is a welcoming
congregation that values and affirms the sacredness
of all people We invite and encourage everyone to
find a place in the family of God. (10:15 am Sunday
27400 SE Stark St.. Troutdale 503-661-4520.)
First Congregational United Church of
Christ is an open and affirming congregation in the
liberal Christian tradition Church school and nursery
care. (10:25 am Sunday. 1126 SW Park Ave
503-228-7219)
First Congregational United Church of
Christ of Hillsboro is an open and affirming
congregation explicitly welcoming everyone into its
Christian community, fellowship and worship. Bible
and book study groups. Sunday school and nursery
care. (1030 am Sunday. 494 E Mam St.
503-648-4341 www hillsboro-ucc org.)
First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open
and affirming liberal religious community offenng a
wide range of programs to nurture spiritual growth,
community and social justice Sunday service 9 and
11 am (1011 SW 12th Ave 503 228 6389
www firstunitarianportland. org.)
Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO) of St
Philip Neri Catholic Church celebrates an affirming
Mass followed by a social. (7 30 pm Friday. Paulist
Center. 2408 SE 16th Ave 503 231 4955 )
Integrity is a group of sexual minority
Episcopalians and friends Various locations
throughout Oregon (Steven Norcross or Bruce
503 286-9111. brucepdxorQcomcast net.
www integrityusa org.)
Interfaith Spiritual Center houses spiritual
directors from various world religious traditions, who
are available for guidance, classes and retreats
(Second Floor. 391OSE 11th Ave 503 233 2026.
ext 3 www.interfaithspintualcenter.com.)
Koinonia Catholic Community is a
progressive, small faith community that gathers
weekly to celebrate Euchanst at Bndgeport United
Church of Christ A welcoming congregation.
Catholic in tradition and Ecumenical in membership
(6 pm Sunday 621 NE 76th Ave 5036990473
www komoniacommunity org)
Metanoia Peace Community United
Methodist Church is a 'house church* that
bnngs gay and straight together Daily morning
prayer and Sunday evening worship (503 281 3697
www tearsoup com/metanoia)
Metropolitan Community Church of
Portland holds ecumenical Sunday morning
worship services at 9 and 11 am Sunday school for
children is held dunng the 11 am service (2400 NE
Broadway 503 281 8868 mfo&mccportland com
www mccportland com )
St. Brigid Celtic Anabaptist Community is a
St. James Lutheran Church, a Reconciled in
Christ congregation, welcomes all people for
traditional, liturgical worship where we experience
God's reconciling love that sets all people free. (9
and 11 am Sunday. 1315 SW Park Ave
503 227-2439 www st/ameslutheranportland org)
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been
welcoming all people since 1863 (12:10 pm
Wednesday and 7.45 and 10 am Sunday Sunday
school and child care at 10 am. 1432 SW 13th Ave
503-2236424)
SisterSpirit offers women's spirituality
celebrations, discussion groups, a drumming circle,
workshops and classes. Schedule of events
available All women are welcome (Suite 102,
3430 SE Belmont St. Mailing address PO Box
9246. Portland. OR 97207 503-7363297
sisterspQteleport com.)
Unitarian Universalist Community Church
of Washington County is an open and affirming
liberal religious community offenng a variety of
enrichment programs in addition to community and
social action opportunities (9 and 11 am Sunday
22785 NW Birch St.. Hillsboro 503-648 1720
www uuccwc. org.)
YOUTH
Metro: Youth
Network (GL8EN) strives to assure that each
member of every school community is valued and
respected, regardless of sexual orientation or
gender identity/expression (12700 SW North
Dakota St. Suite 180 »129. Tigard. OR 97223
503-525-1177. glaenQgisenoregon.org.
wwwgleenofegon.org.)
*
Outside In operates a clinic for anyone who can't
qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as well as needle
exchange services that include those who inject
hormones Provide transitional housing for youth 20
and younger and for those HIV-positive and younger
than 23. Need volunteers of al ages (10 am-6 pm
Monday-Friday 1132 SW 13th Ave. 503 535 3800
www .outsidein .org)
Pride Project brings together Washington County
queer and questioning youth to plan and attend
monthly social events Also information, referral and
advocacy services in Washington County. (Mo//y
503 260-5792 moHyQpndeprofectorg)
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(8MYRC) offers support, recreation, counseling
and referral to gay. lesbian bi and trans kids 23 and
open and affirming with worship, children's school
and child care. (10 am summer. 11 am school year
3300 SE Woodward St 503-238 1337
pastorQwaveriyucc.org. www waveriyucc.org.)
Wy'east Unitarian Universalist
Congregation is an open and liberal religious
community offering intergenerational services and
religious education for youth and adults We
welcome gay. lesbian, bi and trans members and
nurture spiritual growth living by Unitarian
Universalist principles (5 pm Sunday 3300 SE
Woodward St 503-777-3704
www wyeast pnwd. uua org.)
Zion United Church of Christ an open and
affirming congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bi.
trans and heterosexual people who wish to
worship in a Christ-centered, warm, caring,
multiage/race/cultural faith community
(11 am Sunday 110 30 am summer) 2025 NE 23rd
Ave.. Gresham 503-665 8741.)
Central Oregon: Spirituality
United Church of Christ Congregational is
an open and affirming congregation in The Dalles
(9 20 am adult Sunday school. 10:30 am worship
1930am summer) 111 EFifth St. 541 296 2909
ucccongIQnetcnct. net
www forministry. com/usorucofcucocc.)
Washington: Spirituality
Abundant Life Center assists the community in
spiritual growth. (10 am Sunday. Ill W 39th St..
Vancouver. The Rev Kathleen Verigin
360-573-2626 www abundant-life-center org )
First Congregational United Church of
Christ has been an open and affirming
congregation since 1992. extending God's
extravagant welcome to all people, no matter who
they are or where they are on life's journey
(1220 NE 68th St. Vancouver 360-693 1476
www vancouverucc. org.)
Longview United Methodist Church is
welcoming and reconciling. (10 am Sunday
2851 30th Ave., Longview 360-425 4927.)
Metropolitan Church of the Gentle
Shepherd welcomes you. Bible study follows
morning worship. (10:30 am and 630 pm Sunday
2200 Broadway St.. Vancouver The Rev Hamet
Barshofsky 360-695-1480)
Michael Servitus Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship, a Welcoming Congregation, provides
a home for the liberal religious spirit. (9:30 and
11:15 am Sunday. 4505 E 18th St.. Vancouver
360 695 1891)
St. Luke's Episcopal Church has welcomed all
people since 1853. Traditional but never stuffy
(English: 8 and 10 30 am Sunday Spanish: 1 pm
Sunday Child care at 10:30 am. 426 E Fourth Plain
Blvd., Vancouver. The Rev. John Allen
360-696-0181. www stlukeschurch.info.)
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
First Congregational Church. United Church of
Christ is an open and affirming congregation offenng
worship and church school Child care provided and
wheelchair accessible (9.30 am Sunday learning
hour. 10 30 am worship 700 Manon St NE. Salem
5033633660)
Metropolitan Community Church Two
Rivers is a Chnstian church with primary outreach
in the sexual minorities community (6 30 pm
Sunday 1166 Oak St , Eugene.)
younger. Drop-in computer access, pool tables and
an informal place to hang out. Weekly trans,
leadership and art support group meetings. (4-9 pm
Wednesday, 4-11 pm Friday. 2100 SE Belmont St.
503-872 9664. www smyrc.org.)
Eastern Oregon: Youth
Living offers support and advocacy to gay, lesbian,
- bi, trans and questioning youth in Eastern Oregon.
(1021 SW Fifth Ave.. Ontario. 541-889-3119 or
866 248 8369 eocHQeocil org www.eocH.org.)
Washington: Youth
Triple Point offers education, support and
advocacy to gay. lesbian, bi. trans and questioning
youth in Vancouver Meets every Tuesday m the
basement of Youth House <6 fl pm. 1112 Columbia
St John 360-695 1325 )
Willamette Valley: Youth
Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgender and
Questioning Youth Group for ages 13 to 18
offers support, information and fun in Eugene Free,
confidential, adult facilitated. (Drop in 4-6 pm Friday
Amazon Community Center. 2700 HHyard St
541684-3466 )
D ear M s . B ehavior :
who are 5 and 11.
Every year my family
Unfortunately, we
goes on a weeklong
live in a fairly
vacation to the beach.
traditional area,
By family 1 mean my
and we don’t know
mom, my brother, my
other gay families.
sister-in-law and their
Our older son,
kids (ages 10 to 13).
Jack, seems totally
When I was married, I
comfortable with
came with my wife and
us and loves our
our two kids (now 4
family, except
and 7 years old). Two
when he’s angry or
years ago, 1 came out of
acting out.
Ms. Behavior
the closet and got a
But sometimes,
divorce.
when
Jack is in a
by Meryl Cohn
This year, I decided
bad mood, he talks
to invite my boyfriend.
about how
We’ve dated on and off since my
embarrassing it is to have lesbian
divorce. Before inviting him, I forgot
parents and how he can’t have
to mention it to my family. My
friends come over after school. Jack
says he thinks being gay Ts “sick.”
brother is ultraconservative and not
crazy about my gayness, but I get
When he’s angry, he calls me “gay
along well with my sister-in-law, so 1
lord.”
approached her about bringing my
Jack has obviously begun to
significant other to the beach.
absorb some of the homophobia
Her reply was: “David, this has
around him and the idea that gay
always been a FAMILY
people are inferior. Should we
VACATION. If your relationship
confront his beliefs and try to
with your boyfriend is stable enough
convince him otherwise? Or should
that you consider him ‘family,’ 1 can
we simply live our lives and have
sit my kids down and explain to
faith that he’ll ultimately reject such
them why Uncle Dave is bringing
attitudes because they go against his
family experience?
his friend and why they are going to
be together at the end of the day.
—Lesbian Mom
But if you don’t think your
relationship with your boyfriend is
D ear L esbian M om :
that stable, then 1 don’t think it’s fair
You’re not going to be able to
to put our kids through this.”
reform Jack’s feelings or attitudes by
I agree with her to some degree;
convincing him that being gay is
after all, we all paid for the house
A-OK. But maybe you can arrange
and should feel comfortable in it. My
to have Jack talk with a neutral
boyfriend, however, thinks she’s full
trusted adult (e.g., a liberal straight
of crap, hiding her prejudice behind
aunt or a guidance counselor).
her kids’ masks.
A more distant confidante may give
—David him an outlet to explore the
complexities of growing up in a
D ear D avid :
family that’s different, without
Your boyfriend is right: What sort
needing to be oppositional.
of torture would your sister-in-law be
Since you live in a “traditional”
“putting the kids through” by
area, it may help to find other gay
explaining to them that you’re gay?
and lesbian families and spend time
She wants confirmation that your
with them. Search (or advertise in)
relationship is “stable” before you’re
nearby gay and lesbian publications;
allowed to bring your boyfriend; by
for instance, you could join or
“stabled’ perhaps your sister-in-law
organize a monthly family picnic or
really means permanent.
recreational group. Make a point of
But would a heterosexual family
taking your family out of your
member be questioned about the
hometown to places that are teeming
stability of his or her relationship
with gay families. Try vacationing on
and held to that same stringent
queer cruises or at gay and lesbian
standard? Would bringing your
resorts, and check out Family Week
boyfriend really expose your sister-in-
in Provincetown
law’s kids to hideous trauma that
(www.familypride.org). Jack needs to
could only be tempered by a
be in regular contact with other gay
marriage oath that looks exactly like
families, so he doesn’t feel isolated in
hers? It doesn’t sound as though
his lesbian-mom experience.
you’ve brought a confusing parade of
If Jack still grows up to become a
men to dozens of family events and
ball-busting anti-gay Republican,
asked your nieces and nephews to
please know that you did your best
call each of them “Uncle.”
and that it’s not your fault. (That’s
Besides, your family may not
what the ball-busting anti-gay
realize it, but kids who are 10 to 13
Republicans tell themselves when
are most likely astute enough to
their children turn into sweet, open-
realize Uncle Dave is gay, whether or
minded homos. ) jn
not their parents sit them down and
chat with them about it.
M eryl C ohn is the author of Do
What 1 Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to
D ear M s . B ehavior :
Gay and Lesbian Etiquette. Send
-My partner and 1 have two sons,
questions to msbehavu rt@aol com.