January 2L 2005 > just OUtj g
have settled in nicely to being grandparents to
Hand’s black and white Shih Tzus, who they
refer to as “grand-dogs.”
But remembering how difficult it was to
come out inspired Hand to Lx>k for ways to
incorporate humor and education. She decided
to develop a program for college students that
sent a humorous message about the difficulties
of coming out. She presented the program,
“Hands Up on Coming Out,” at colleges across
the country from 4993 to 1998.
“I talked about everything from making the
decision to come out to how to tell Grandma,”
she says. “I made fun of the pain and angst that
we all go through when we decide to come out.”
During the time the program ran, Hand
dealt with death threats, bomb threats and fire
drills at the venues where she was presenting,
but she took it all in stride. “I never lost a sin
gle audience member,” she says. “They were
too busy laughing to leave their seats.”
Buoyed by the success of the program, Hand
began exploring opportunities to deliver
humorous messages to a wider audience and
slowly transitioned from a standup comedian to
a speaker.
“As a comedian, you want to be getting five
to seven laughs a minute, but as a speaker it
doesn’t matter,” she explains. “1 wanted to
apply my wit to a subject and do something
that was less pressure than standup.”
Her speaking career took off, and in 2003
Hand left her position in corporate America to
become a full-time funny woman. “The first year
was tough,” she says. “Now the work is more
regular and things are starting to even out.”
Today her career consists of a mix of corpo
rate training, keynote speaking and standup.
Though she still incorporates queer humor into
her standup routine, as a speaker she focuses her
energy on diversity, alcohol and dmg awareness,
stress management and leadership—all with a
humorous angle.
“1 challenge myself to do something new
every day,” she says. “One day I call a
senior center, the next day I call a
college, and the day after that 1
call a professional association.
1 want to talk about the
benefits of laughter to as
many people as possible."
To date she has
worked with numerous
organizations including
Rose City Mortgage,
Generations, Seattle
Housing Authority and
the Vancouver YMCA.
Over the holidays
Hand even performed at a
private dinner party in Lake
Oswego. “I was putting myself
in someone else’s family situa
tion, which I’ve never done
before,” she says. “But trying new
things is really fun for me.”
Last year, Hand also became a certified
laughter leader and began teaching people
about the healing benefits of laughter in an
interactive setting. “I love helping people gain
perspective through humor,” she says. “The
laughter workshops are a lot of fun, and the
response to them has been really gcxxl.”
Though her career has taken off, Hand has
faced difficulties in her personal life: During the
past several months she has ended a long-term
relationship, moved into a new home, con
fronted the illness of one of her brothers and
battled stress-re la ted illness—but she has gotten
through it with humor.
“I am big on crying and
feeling your feelings,” she
says. “I’ve gotten angry,
sad and frustrated, and
then 1 find the
humor.”
Hand ended her
relationship with
her partner in
August and says it
has been very diffi
cult. “We fought
too much. We just
had different ways
of doing things and
different opinions,
but we still get along
great.”
Despite the fact that
the relationship ended, Hand
still feels a connection to the
woman she was with for five years. “We
had a commitment ceremony in Hawaii in
2001,” she says. “The other day we were look
ing at our vows, and we realized that we have
not broken any of them. To me, that’s a suc
cessful relationship."
To overcome the pain of ending the relation
ship, Hand turned to humor. “1 decided to start
doing more laughter clubs and performances,
and it forced me to laugh,” she says.
Just as she began to heal, Hand faced more
emotional turmoil. “My brother Bmce has dia
betes, and he got really sick and ended up in
the hospital,” she says. “Last month the doctors
wanted to amputate his foot.”
Hand admits it is difficult to find humor in
such a serious situation. “The fact that he is
sick is a big fucking deal, but he has to have a
sense of humor to get through this whether he
dies in two years, five years or 10 years,” she
says. “1 try to call him every day to tell him a
funny story, but it is really hard sometimes.”
Friends and family constantly remind Hand
to find the humor in these situations. “My par
ents and friends are a constant reminder for me
to walk my walk and not just talk to strangers
about how to cope using laughter,” she says.
Though she tried to use humor to get
through the situation, Hand began experienc
ing physical symptoms of stress. “I got a really
bad virus because 1 was under so much stress,”
she says. “I ended up sick for two months. 1 was
always looking for the pieces to go together
and trying to figure out how things fit and why
they happen. Humor is what keeps me moving
forward through the darkness.”
Today, Hand is feeling great and ready to
conquer the next challenge. “I figured I had a
choice: 1 could have a heart attack, or I could
find the humor in the situation.”
Hand admits she has a knack for finding
Continued on Page 21