41
CULTURE
The Queer Eye for
the Straight Quy
book comes in a
rainbow of colors
(how cute!)
I believe in using
Minogue’s
more for
gettable
songs, and
Liz Phair’s “Extraordinary”
continues her devolution
from indie powerhouse to puffy
popster.
In addition, scattered sound bites
from Queer Eye (Carson huffs, “Great, we’re
gonna be outta season by the time we get
there!”) don’t add anything to the mi^.
—Jim Radosta
Queer eye
on the prizes
Q ueer E ye for the S traight G uy : T he
F ab 5’ s G uide to L ooking B etter ,
C ooking B etter , D ressing B etter ,
B ehaving B etter and L iving B etter
Clarkson Potter, 2004^ $27.50 hardcover
I fully admit it—I’m sold. I’m all over Queer
Eye. I watch every episexle, I rewind to hear
the
Hip Tips over again, I fantasize with my
You’ve seen, the show,
partner about which of rhe Fab Five we’d sleep
now get the swag
with (if we had to).
I freaked about the merchandise. Oversatu
ration of the market! 1 screamed. Don’t get texi
Q ueer E ye f O r the S traight G uy
big for your britches!
Various Artists • Capitol Records
But I was wrong. The Ixxik and audio CD
of the Fab Five will eventually make you, like
ow do you capture the fabulous, multi
the straight guys on TV, become a little misty.
lateral style of Queer Eye for the Straight
It’s weird.
Guy on a single soundtrack? Is it possible
First of all, the Ixxik comes in several colors,
to find music that’s simultaneously tasty (Ted), so you can chexise which hue of the rainbow
functional (Thom), fashionable (Carson),
you’d like on your coffee table. You can match
refined (Jai) and gnximed (Kyan)?
your curtains! It sounds cheesy, but I think it’s
A tough task—compiling tracks that, tme
adorable, so shut up.
to the Bravo show’s wide appeal, will satisfy
Second of all, this hxik is F-U-N to kx>k at.
both homos and heteros alike. Although skep
Each page is coated with colors as vibrant as one
tical at first, I was pleasantly surprised to hear a
of Thom's newly painted walls and crammed
veritable Gay Straight Alliance of sounds.
with the guys’ trademark sass. Chapters are
Of course, no metrosexual CD would be
divided by each guy’s specialty and include an
complete without a contribution from the orig
overview of the issue as well as specifics on how
inal Fab Five, I'Juran Duran. “Sunrise (Jason
to move beyond your comfort level.
Nevins Remix)” picks up right where the fresh
Hie audio CD of the hxik is a nice idea,
ly reunited original lineup left off 20 years ago,
but 1 have to recommend you bypass the CD
and plunk down $25 for the hx>k. The CD’s
with a cheesy yet earnest anthem that will
biggest hindrance is that you can’t open it up
have you singing along by the second chorus.
Then there’s “Everybody Wants You to
when you’re getting dressed and consult Car
son’s excellent section on which buttons to
Emerge (Barry Harris Revamp),” a clever mash
button, when to tuck and how to chexise a tie.
up of ultra-straight rocker dude Billy Squier’s
You will also have a much harder time fol
1982 hit and ultra-weird conceptual artist
lowing Ted’s recipes and finding the pnxJucts
FischersptMiner’s “Emerge.” In keeping with the
Kyan recommends. What, you want to write all
Queer Eye mission, it’s a successful collision of
that down yourself? And what gcxxl is having
mundane mainstream and edgy avant-garde.
Junior Senior’s “Move Your Feet” is another
Thom show you how to create fabulous new
spaces when you can’t see what he’s doing?
appropriate selection, considering the Danish band
consists of a straight twink and a gay bear. Mean
And you won’t be missing anything. The
while, Sting does penance for his bland adult con
Fxxik contains exactly the same information as
temporary phase with the unexpectedly hip “Never
the CD, almost word for word. What the CD
Coming Home (Gonna Live My Life Remix).”
does have that the bcxik lacks is a final wrap-up
and interviews with the Fab Five that are actu
The soundtrack has plenty just for the gay
boys, too, including “Superstar” by J-Lo clone
ally quite interesting. But buy the book and
Jamelia and “Are You Ready for Love,” a
borrow the CD from the library.
smixith Elton John recording from 1979 that
What ultimately makes Queer Eye the
Ixxik, CD and show such a success are the five
recently topped the charts in Britain.
carefully chosen and marketed men who whip
The disc also features audio and video for
into a stranger’s life and, as they say, do a
the addictive Queer Eye theme song, “All
“make better.” The Fab Five, regardless of
Things (Just Keep Getting Better),” which
being at the forefront of modem pop culture,
brought back gixxl memories of the Imperial
are also pretty traditional, all-American guys.
Sovereign Rose Court’s celebratory perform
They’re comfortable, and they’re comforting.
ance at the final Peacexzk in the Park.
CSarson notes in the introduction, “Y<xi
Like some ofCarson’s questionable clothing
needed
us, and we were there.” Amen, brother.
choices, the album is hardly perfect. “Slow
—Lisa Bradshaw jn
(Chemical Brothers Mix)” is one of Kylie
I don't want anyone else to
get HIV, so I use condoms
everytime with girls and guys
1 am learning to accept myself
and I feel better knowing that
I'm not hurting anyone.
H
I’m,Til win jwffwry^hivslopswilhme otg
HiUSTOPSWITHME.ORG
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Photoqrnphy