been so disenfranchised, they’re not willing to disenfranchise
anybody.”
Prescod says the feeling of acceptance is amplified in
Portland because the African American community here is
so small. “If you do come out as queer, people still need you
and love you and support you. There’s a feeling o f ‘you’re
one of us.’ ”
Even a conservative Republican acquaintance recently tcx>k
Prescod’s sexuality in stride while asking tor his thoughts on a
related issue. This surprised and delighted him. “It reminded me
of how small the community is.”
The size of Portland’s African American community has a
flip side, however. “It’s a greater risk for a queer African Amer
ican coming out in this community— it’s a bigger step,"
Prescod acknowledges. “It has a greater impact here. Coming
out in a larger urban community, you have the ability to he
more anonymous.”
Pruitt echoes this and says, “If you go to Boston, Atlanta,
places with huge populations of African Americans, they
don’t have the same experience as people in the Northwest.
They have a black gay community that’s strong. In Oregon we
don’t have that, so the isolation is strong and people give up
their identity.”
He admits to being profoundly affected by the way he is
treated and perceived by the world: “There are times I’m just
tired of fighting. The thing that keeps me going is remembering
it’s not as hard [as it was] 60 years ago.”
Between Pruitt’s heartache and Cook’s ability to shut out
the hurtful behavior of others, there is an entire continuum of
ways queer African Americans cope with the racism and
homophobia they regularly encounter. According to Brown
ing, these differences in reactions occur “because we re all so
different psychologically and emotionally. We can have the
same set of experiences and come out the other side complete
ly differently. I think it’s just really important to acknowledge
the validity of every person’s experience. I personally believe
that we’re the product of our experiences... or the victim of
our experiences.”
Browning muses, “Maybe one of these days the thread that
flows through the black community—when we see each other
on the street, we smile and acknowledge each other—maybe
[all] gay people will do that as well. ” j n
J.B. R a BIN is a Portland free-lance wnter.
Choosing identity
hen I encounter the world it’s first as an
/ African American man, then subsequently in
terms of sexual orientation,” says Prescod,
explaining that people interact with him ini
tially based on his most obvious characteristic. “For some people
it means ‘I have to deny this part of myself.’ For me it’s hard to
do that separation, hut I think for some people they have to
make a choice. They feel pressures from the black community or
the queer community.”
Others experience their identity with a kind of fluidity.
Browning says: “I’m all of those people [a woman, an African Nicole Browning is not comfortable seeking community solely
American, a lesbian], hut depending upon the situation, one
with other black lesbians
of those people is going to he the dominant person. There
are very few situations where it’s all integrated and that’s
mostly white friends, she feels “a comfort level [among whites]
who I am."
that not all black people do.”
Hedgmon concurs. “In some situations my race becomes
She goes on to say: “I refuse to confine myself to a black
something I’m more strongly aligned to. In others it’s my les
social circle. What we have in common is our race, so what
bian identity,” she says. One rare place
ever we talk about is racially motivated.
of integration, she says, was SistahFest,
It’s more important for me to be a part of
an annual weekend retreat put on by
the larger lesbian community because I
the California organization United Les
don’t want to limit my experience.”
bians of African Heritage. “1 think that
Many seek the safety of smaller circles
was the only space when I didn’t have
because of potential violence outside
to pick and choose.”
them. “I think [violence] can come from
Explaining why people gravitate to
anywhere; it’s always a possibility,” Hedg
different factions and suhfactions, Prescod
mon says.
says, “I think it has to do with where peo
Browning adds, “Black people have
ple find community.” They often feel
been disenfranchised so frequently that
included in certain communities based
the No. 1 fear of all black people every
-Cecil
Prescod
on the environments they’ve been
time they walk through a door is whether
exposed to their whole lives.
or not they’re going to be confronted.”
“Seeking out a community of black lesbians is not the most
Pruitt says black people “just want a piece of the pie. We
comfortable for me; it’s not vital to who 1 am,” Browning says.
want to walk into a room and be seen—to say something and be
Having grown up in predominantly white communities with
validated, not discredited.”
“It ’s a grea ter risk
for a queer
Airican American
coming out
this
it
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