Getting real w ith Sandra
Contintied from P age 2 4
culture question: What did you think of Brit
ney Spears’ kiss with Madonna?
S B : I just thought it was not very sexy. I
mean, they really should have gone for it! But
it didn’t quite cut the mustard.
Meg Daly: Your show in Portland is just a
few days before Valentine’s Day, and I imag
ine a lot of people will be taking their dates to
see you. W hat’s your ideal valentine date?
Sandra Bernhard: Somebody that you’re
hot for and madly in love with!
M D: I don’t think Britney truly swings
that direction.
SB : Well, I don’t think the other one truly
does, either. They’re both a little bit silly.
M D: And what would you want to do on
the date?
SB : Go out for a fabulous dinner, with lots
of fun conversation. It would be somebody
with 100 percent cotton sheets and all the
accouterments you want for a hot date.
M D: Have you been watching T h e
L Word?
SB : Oh sure, I’ve seen both episodes. It’s
like Sex and the City— it’s crap but you can’t
help but watch it.
MD: Any valentine’s faux pas that queers
should avoid?
SB : Being cheap. Money, girls...pick it up!
M D: W hat’s the worst valentine you ever
received?
SB : I don’t think 1 have one. It’s not a big
thing for me. I appreciate the day for other
people. I always look at it as a Hallmark holi
day when they jack up the prices of flowers.
M D: As a public figure, are you even able
to go out on a date, or do you get mobbed?
SB : Well, I’m involved with somebody, so
our relationship is one long date.
M D: T h at’s so sweet! I don’t suppose you
want to tell me about this person?
SB : No. I like to respect my relationships.
M D: OK, and I can respect that. How’s it
going being a working mom?
SB : It’s tricky. It’s a little harder than it used
to be. I think twice about doing certain gigs
and traveling as much. The person I’m
involved with is really on the scene, and my
little girl is very comfortable staying home with
that person. That makes it a lot easier. But still,
I’m her mommy and I’m responsible for her. So
it takes a bit of juggling.
M D: Your daughter is in kindergarten
now. How is she doing?
SB : [Laughs] She’s an original! She’s sweet
and funny and tough and has a mind of her
own. She’s wonderful!
M D: Sounds like her mom!
SB : She is!
M D: Would you ever want to be on it?
SB : Noooo! Absolutely not.
M D: It seems like America has an affec
tion for bi and lesbian one-woman performers,
if I can lump you into that category....
S B : You can’t.
Sandra Bernhard says she’s ready for Portland— grrr!
than ever. We’re up against the obvious and
didactic cliché of the Bush administration.
And it’s a lot of fun to talk about, shed light on
and he funny about. At the same time, I want
be thoughtful and considerate about where
we’re headed as a culture and how we [Ameri
cans] are perceived in the world.
T he show also includes some of my per
sonal journeys and funny stories that have
happened in my life that day, or two weeks
ago.... I tell stories about raising my daughter
and weird, noncliché stories about being a
mother.
And it’s all interwoven with music. I’m
accompanied by Mitch Kaplan on piano and
Pam Adams on guitar. So it’s very acoustic,
evocative, haunting, sexy, rock ’n’ roll— all the
things people expect from me, and more!
M D: Who is your audience? Who do you
think of when you’re writing new material?
SB : I have in mind an ageless group of peo
ple, teen-age to older folks. People who are
thoughtful, compassionate and have the same
goal in mind, which is to live on peaceful,
beautiful, ecologically minded planet where we
accept and embrace other people’s cultures.
M D: You’ve had a large African American
following in your career. Why is that?
SB : Because I’m very real. It’s all about real
ness in the black community. And, y’know, I’m
not afraid to get down with my brothers and
sisters.
M D: They don’t feel threatened by you?
S B : No, because I don’t think I’m black.
I’m not doing that fake rap shit. I just am who
I am, and inherently they just get it. There’s
some kind of a soul link.
M D: Have you been supporting any of the
Democratic presidential hopefuls?
S B : Yes. I performed for Howard Dean
about month and a half ago, and I really
loved him. So I’m very disappointed he
fucked it up.
M D: So you think he fucked it up for
good?
S B : Yeah, it’s over. He’s finished. He lost his
cool. He’s too reactive and he blew it. He has
terrible Scorpio anger and he hasn’t learned
how to harness it yet. So this will be a great
spiritual lesson for him.
M D: So, tell me about your current show.
SB : I’ve been working on it for six months.
It’s gone through a lot of evolutions and
changes. My work’s been more political since
9/11, and this show is more directly political
M D: You make me think of that notion
that there are two Americas right now
becoming more and more divided.
S B : Yeah, there’s the frightened, paranoid
America. And there’s the really optimistic,
accepting America. We’d like to bring more
people over to our side.
M D: Sounds like he could have used some
advice from someone like yourself.
S B : I tried to talk to him a little afterward,
but it was too hard. He should have listened a
little closer.
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M D: I ’ve got to ask you one vapid pop
M D: ...W om en like yourself, Lily Tomlin,
Ellen DeGeneres, Margaret C ho...w hy do
you think that is?
SB : Women who are independent are usu
ally the funniest and most honest with emo
tions. I think people like that and respect it.
For straight chicks it’s not such an easy row to
hoe— you’ve got to be pretty ballsy.
M D: I really liked what you said in an
interview several years ago about being
“nice” being bullshit. Do you have thoughts
on ridding oneself of false niceness?
SB : I think if you’re really connecting with
people and you really care about people, you’re
going to another level. It’s about going deeper
than being nice to being genuinely present and
concerned.
I mean, it’s good to be nice to people. It’s
better than being a bitch. [Laughs] But really
taking that extra moment to really connect—
in a world that’s pretty disconnected— is kind
of my motto.
M D: Are you looking forward to coming
to Portland?
S B : Oh yeah! 1 love Portland. I love the
Northwest. I love the whole sensibility there—
the brisk, beautiful outdoors vibe, the hardiness
of the whole vibe. I needed a little Northwest
fix and I’m looking forward to it. I hope every
body comes out and enjoys the shows. I’ll be
thrilled to be there. j n
Features Editor M eg D a ly can be reached at
megdaly@justout.com.
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