novembar 2 1 .2QQ3 »
started to have some real problems. It first
started with very had insomnia. I could not
get to sleep. Then one day, I looked in the
mirror and I could not recognize myself. I
looked like a skull face, and my body was very
skinny. I could even feel the bones in my face
when I rested my head on my pillow at night.
At that point 1 really felt like I was going to
die. When 1 went shopping or any other
place, 1 felt very embarrassed about my
appearance. 1 would try not to have any eye
contact with anyone because I was afraid to
see the shock in people’s face. I felt like every­
one was hxiking at me.
Pobi successfully started on the cocktail m 1996.
She has been hafipily married to the love of her life
for 19 years. Her husband doesn't haw HIV.
W
One time, my manager read a letter that
arrived to the company. The letter had the
acronym HIV in it. She didn’t know what
HIV was so, ironically, she asked me. I told
her it is associated with AIDS. She dropped
the letter and shrieked as if the letter would
contaminate her. She had no idea that she
just hurt my feelings. She didn’t know I was
HIV-positive, and I didn’t tell her either. I
fantasized about giving her a kiss on the cheek
and then saying, “I have HIV.”
Somewhere between 1994 and 1 9 9 5 ,1
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PHOTO BY
R achel Pobi was infected with HIV between
1980 and 1981 while dating a hemophiliac.
hen I was first diagnosed in 1986, at
the age of 26, I was about as ignorant
as most about HIV. But I was deter­
mined to learn all that I could about it in order
to survive. I didn’t tell people who I worked
with that I was HIV-positive. People were afraid
of the word AIDS. One co-worker would tell
me that she no longer went to her regular hair­
dresser anymore. She assumed that just because
he was gay that he might have HIV.
Ii
Richard Francis is host of the KHCXJ-FM
radio show A Different Nature. Diagnosed as
HIV'positive in 1989, he volunteered at Juniper
House hospice.
remember [one] guy who was told [he had]
only three months. He couldn’t walk any­
more from wasting.
They had a dcx:tor’s kx>k. When you came
Continued mi Page 20
in you could find out
what was happening. I
came in and the dixrtor
had written that (the
patient] had made the
decision that he would
walk again. The staff was
instructed to humor him.
The dixztor had given
him some token exercis­
es. I went in to him and I
said: “I hear you’re get­
ting exercise. I give a
pretty gcxxl massage and
I can give you one any­
time you need it.” He
immediately threw hack
the covers. Thank gtxxl-
ness he was lying on his
stomach so he couldn’t
see my tears. I had never
touched a btxJy that was
so wasted. I couldn’t find
any muscle to massage.
That night one of the
other guys 1 was massag­
ing broke down weeping
because he said, “Do you
know how long it’s been
since someone has
touched me T'
Francis' T cell count
was recendy 860; he still
suffers from fatigue and
Though straight, Guy Johnson has experienced the homophobic
neuropathy.
stigma and prejudice that often accompany H IV
I
Rachel Pobi, who has been HIV-positive for some two decades, has experienced firsthand the
lingering public fear and misunderstanding of A ID S
Quy Johnson was 21 years old and an expec­
tant father when he learned in 1 995 that he was
HIV-positive.
'never thought in my wildest dreams that
HIV would happen to me. I was 14 when
1 started using methamphetamine intra­
venously. I started drinking when I was 9. I
had just celebrated a year clean-and-sober, and
getting tested was just making sure 1 was OK
because I was changing my life. I can remem­
ber talking to the counselor, and he asked
what I knew about HIV. 1 knew some bad
jokes: Anal Injected Death Sentence; Bend
over do a “Magic” trick; What do you call
Rix:k Hudson in a wheelchair? Roll AIDS.
On TV 1 saw preachers saying that it was
God’s retribution against homosexuals, people
protesting in front of hospitals because they did­
n’t want to be in the same hospital as AIDS
patients; I saw (emergency medical technicians]
and fire crews donning radioactive suits to clean
up car accidents involving someone with 1IIV.
Suddenly it dawned on me that people were
going to think that about me. Imagine living your