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Boyfriend 101
ver feel like you’re going to he single the
rest of your life? 1 have.
I’m willing to bet a majority of us have
had those "woe is me” moments of won
dering if we’ll ever meet Mr. Right. I know our
hetero counterparts experience the same feel
ings, hut it really is different for us.
Being gay and meeting other homos outside
the bar scene is difficult. Even if ycxi have the
greatest gaydar in town, yixi still have to worry
and wonder if that object of your affection is even
playing for our team. It can he frustrating as hell!
In comes Jim Sullivan, a counselor and gay
dating
who (Villard,
has w-ritten Biryfncnd 101 :
Finding coach,
True Love
A
Gay
Guy's
Guide
to Dating,
2003; $12.95 softcover).
He Romance and
instructs the reader on
expanding his network of
friends, flirting without cruis
ing (I’m still not sure of the
difference), writing a great
online ad, tuning up your
communication skills and
establishing dating proto
cols— in which he swears the
key to any romance is waiting
until at least the third date to
have sex.
Before you call him crazy,
1 really think there is some
thing to the three-date rule.
Ever hixikcd up with a guy
right away and then never
heard from him again?
(Come on, you know it’s
happened to you.) Sullivan
adamantly argues that hy
waiting until at least the
and Sullivan’s clients’
stories, hut, all in all,
I did pick up some
handy tips and
would recommend
this kx>k to anyone
serious about find
ing a gixxl man.
Sullivan gets
you thinking
about what you
really want in a
partner. He chal
lenges you to Kxik past your pre
conceived notions of what you think of as
“your type” and to look beyond generalizing
characteristics (nice, cute and funny) and he
more specific (someone who challenges you
as a person, someone with a strong sense of
family, someone with similar philosophies on
religion or adoption, etc.).
Even though (take note, readers) I’m still
single, to liKalize the fxxik a little for you,
here’s my top 10 list of the best places to
meet queer men outside the bar scene in
Portland:
2. Kinko’s. Must be
the little aprons and the
fresh scent of copied
paper, because Kinko’s is
swanning with cuties.
3. Urban Outfitters. My
personal favorite store and
apparently a lot of other
’mos, too. There are always
trendy, pierced and tattooed
hotties mnning arixind.
4. Anywhere out in the
Tanasboume area. I don’t know
what it is about this place, but
between Target, Pier 1 Imports
and Ethan Allen, it seems to be a
gay’s paradise is suburbia.
5. Hawthorne. With all the
vintage clothing stores, coffee shops
and pizza joints, Hawthorne is the
new 23rd Avenue for gay men.
6. Fred Meyer. Convenient one-
stop shopping includes guys.
7. The Gap. It does stand for Gay and
Proud, dixisn’t it?
8. 24 H our Stiffness, excuse me, Fitness.
Gyms are such a stereotypical way to pick up
guys, but, hey, it works.
9. Pioneer Square. This place is great; all
you have to do is take a seat and let the boys
come to you. If nothing else, it’s gixxl for some
great people watching.
10. Costco. Just like our lesbian friends, gay
men love to buy in bulk. J H
1. Home Depot or, as my friends and I
call it, Homo Depot. Paint, light fixtures,
home redecorating, gardening supplies...need I
say more
is a graduate of
University of Idaho. He is 25, 6 feet tall and 155
pounds—and can he reached at
michaelwaynekecl<@hotmail. com.
Think a good man is hard to find?
Maybe you’re going about it all wrong
by
M ic h a e l W a y n e K eck
third date for some hanky-panky, you are forc
ing yourself and your date to get to know each
other on a more personal level without rush
ing and possibly sabotaging a gixxJ thing.
He writes: “Wanting sex is ¿is natural as want
ing to eat, hut intimacy cannot he rushed. It
takes time to know someone. Too much fast fixxl
can he harmful to the hxly,
and hx> much fast sex can he
an impediment to intimacy."
Sullivan also tackles
issues like where to meet
guys and how to make the
first move. I tried his
advice for a conversation
starter with potential dates.
“ Hi, my name is M ichael.”
Sounds easy enough, and
he promises the rest of the
conversation will come
naturally. But, although 1
felt empowered that I was
able to approach people
and say something, noth
ing came of it. 1 think a
few of the guys thought I
was trying to sell them
something or hand them a
copy of The Watch Tower.
The Ixxik can get a little
boring with long anecdotes
Being gay and
meeting other
homos outside
the ban scene is
difficult. Even
if you have the
greatest gaydar
in town, you still
have to worry
and wonder
if that object
of y ou r affection
is even playing
for our team.
M iss (fay Oregon XXVIII
JTlycia Day
TUêrê is
M ic h a e l W ayn e K e c k
O
v
i y I
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