THEATER .............. ¥ ............... Ill ’m not fat. My body just retains choco- | late" is one of the hilarious one-liners you will hear as you treat yourself to a night at BroadArts T heatres tasty new comedy musical Fat & Sassy through Nov. 22 at the downtown YWCA’s newly renovated Collins Center. You’ll also hear such unfamiliar tunes as “Breasts, Butts, Lipo-suck My Open Thighs, "The Drive-By Diet" and “Let’s Slop Down Some Pop.” A 20-ycar veteran of progressive, political, feminist theater, artistic director Melinda E. Pittman (as Calliope Carzan) uses her own experience in joining a “popular weight loss program" to set the stage for her character’s romp through counting calories and weekly weigh-ins— busting cultural stereotypes and uncovering unbelievable factoids along the way. “Part of our process of creating this musical play is researching the myths and facts sur­ rounding weight and weight issues,” explains Pittman. “W e’ve discovered and uncovered startling statistics. For example, many sources calculate that weight-loss and diet-related businesses in the U.S. am ount to an over $40 billion-a-year industry, yet 98 percent of diets fail. W hat other industry in the country can get away with a failure rate like that and still be considered legitimate?" Pittman was one of the founders of Portland’s Fallen Angels Choir, which delighted audiences with carols of consumerism, cold and holiday hypcxirisy during the '80s and '90s. More recent­ ly, she wrote and directed 2001’s Wonderbrtxids, another musical comedy about famous women throughout history. Pittman shines during Fat & Sassy — whether channeling Mae West or a candid Bar­ bie anthropologist. Co-stars include Canadian Fat and queer? Listen here... You’ll also find each detail is attended to in this size-positive show. The chairs are comfy (“Just right for the tops and bottoms of people of substance," notes Pittman), the intermission snacks are yummy, and the lobby offers not only the BroadArts mailing lust and order forms for the new Fat & Sassy calendar, but three journals of fat facts and reference material for your perusal. After each performance, the company invites you to stay for an informal 15-minute discussion about “issues of substance." BroadArts is already working on next year’s show, The Girls of Summer, which will be an outdtxsr musical perfonned at baseball fields akxit Title IX and women’s and girls’ access to sports. But for now, grab your best friend and go get Fat & Sassy. In the immortal words of Ms. Pittman: “Big people are tired of being blamed for the excesses of the food and diet industry. It’s time to sing the praises of our whole luscious package!" J H • B road A rts T heatre presents Fat & Sassy 7:30 p.m. Friday arid Sat- BroadArts Theatre asks who’s getting rich off America getting fat by M arie F leischmann singer and second-grade teacher Jan Rosenthal (its Aviva Stein), whose program credits include singing for Queen Elizabeth; founding member of Portland’s first comedy improv group Mollie Hart (as Bonita Chavez); return­ ing BroadArts actress and comedian Kim Dewey (as D.K. Courtney); and the skinny girl, Laura Faye Smith, whose hilarious depictions of the annoying weight-loss class instructor, the agreeable survey participant and a slew of other characters exhibit impressive versatility. All the program’s facts were meticulously compiled by this bevy of beauties. In what other musical will you learn that 80 percent of annual food industry ad budgets are focused on children, while 75 percent of fifth- through ninth-grade Californians failed the 2001 fit­ ness exam? O r the astonishing higher rate of obesity in lower-income women as compared to higher-income women, while 34 million BroadArts T heatre gets Fat & Sassy in a new musical comedy U.S. citizens live below the poverty level? urday through Nov. 22 at the about women of substance, the food industry and fatphobia YWCA’s Collms Center, III I S.W. BroadArts hoard member Barb Eichberger, who was kicked out of the military in 1986 for ticipation," she shares. “The shows are not created 10th Ave. Tickets are $16-$20 from 503-288-5181. being gay, says she sees herself in BroadArts per­ in a vacuum. Melinda is a grassrcxrts organizer as formances and learns new things as well. “One of M arie F leischmann is Editorial Assistant well as a creative genius. She developed a diverse the strongest aspects of BioadArts is vision of par­ boahJ and has all open dcxirs." at Just O ut. * “From stru d els to n o o d les, w o rk in g 's a d ream in m y n e w ly remodeled kitchen... I needed more room First Time Buyers • FHA/VA Loons to add cooking classes Self-Employed ♦ Complicated Borrowers to m y catering business Bankruptcies & Foreclosures • Credit Problems but 1 dreaded the thought Investment Properties ♦ Pre-approvals o f refinancing to do it. 100% Financing Programs Luckily, I was referred to Christine. She came Senior Loan Consultant to our house with all the President's Club paperwork, smoothed out 503 - 698-5429 the bumps with 800 343 994 3 solutions and made the whole refinancing 503 - 30 / - / 941 process genuinely friendly. Bon Appetite! '' ic m r c iM f I hu