i 6.2003
I mean, it’s OK to be gay; as long as you
aren’t [wink, wink] “ being gay” right?
Who are you kidding, Senator Smith?
I think I should become the next “ unofficial gay mayor” of
Portland. I don’t really want the job. I just want Portland to
be a fun town again. Think of me as a Gerald Ford of fags.
That’s what pets are to queers: family. I know that straight
people, especially childless couples, singles and seniors,
have the same attachment to their furry balls of uncondi
tional love. But, the reality is — if they so opt and are able
— straight people have kids and grandkids. Sure, I say I
want children. But it’s more of a vague idea, sort of like
wanting to be an astronaut.
The three most terrifying words in the
queer canon are: Gay Men’s. Chorus.
v
WEEK
I I Being a gay journalist is a lot like being a hotel maid.