Get your drink on
Continued from Page 2 9
being judged. O r maybe everyone’s just
hammered, and that’s why no one cares.
Either way, it’s amusing.
Scandals, 1038 S.W. Stark St. Open
seven days a week. Happy hour 4 to 6 p.m.
Monday to Saturday and all day Sunday.
I don’t have a lot to say about Scandals,
good or had. It’s a plain har with decent
drinks, darts, video poker and a rather mel
low atmosphere compared to some of the
other Vaseline Alley establishments. It’s a
gixxl place to grab a table, order a cocktail
and enjoy the company of your friends.
(That sounded cheesy, sorry.)
Silverado, 1217 S.W. Stark St. Open
seven days a week. Happy hour until
8 p.m. Monday to Saturday and until
9 p.m. Sunday.
Usually the last stop of the night, Silver
a d o has it all: liuuor. strippers, music and
dance floor. This place gets packed tight,
hut no one cares because it makes for a
great game of grab ass.
Back in the day, they
used to have hot strip
pers, hut now, apparently,
they’ve decided a win
ning personality is the
key to stripper success.
Starky’s, 2913 S.E.
Stark St. Open seven days
a week. Happy hour 5 to
7 p.m. weekdays.
Like Hobo’s, Starky’s is
an upscale gay har.
Expensive meals and
drinks come with the ter
ritory, hut so does roman-
Duane pours ’em strong at the Fox & Hounds
tic atmosphere and friendly staff. It also has
a stellar patio that opens in the summer.
This is a good “first date" har, if you aren’t
unemployed or broke.
T hree Sisters, 1125 S.W. Stark St.
Open seven days a week. Happy hour
until 7 p.m.
Three Sisters—or Six Tits, as it is so affec
tionately called— is a strip bar that has a little
something more to offer than Silverado,
like...fucking hot strippers! There’s something
sexy to me about super-hot straight men pre
tending to he gay. These guys do more than
just let it all hang out. They work the crowd,
throw their cixlcs in your face and climb
around the stage like wild monkeys. You’ll
either blush or get a boner. No hard liquor,
just beer and wine. JH
to give props to Panorama. Large
space, trippy lighting, loud music and the
occasional fire dancer makes this a rad place
to dance your ass off. Friday tends to be slow
er, so try Saturday.
Best place to go on a date: Crush, with its
swank yet strangely laid-back atmosphere,
Ikea-looking decorations, cute bartenders,
martinis galore. If you can’t win a guy over
here, you best just stay at home.
Best overall: With style, substance, court
yard, game room, piano and some strong
drinks, Hobo’s gets my pick for best all-around
bar. The Rita Hayworth of gay bars: sophisti
cated, refined, fashionable and classic.
is a Portland free-lance
uniter, (xtrt-dme (xrrtier, full-time Madonna
fanatic and a self-declared mama's boy. E-mail
him at michaclwaynekecl<@hotrruul. com.
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