------------------------------------------------ iiprii in, ?nm j « t —
ADVICE
Interfaith Spiritual Center h o u se s spintual direc
Trinity United Methodist Church is an open
tors from vanous w orld religious traditions, w ho are
C hnstian com m unity w here faith and life intersect. AH
available for guidance, c la sse s and retreats. (Se co n d
invited! (10:30 am Sunday 3 9 1 5 S E Steele S t The
Metro: Spirituality
Floor. 3 9 1 0 S E 1 1th A ve 5 0 3 -2 3 3 2026. ext 3.
www mterfaithspintuaicenter c o m ) (7/03)
R e v W endy J o y W oodw orth 5 0 3 -7 7 7 -3 9 0 1 )(7 1 0 3 )
Ainsworth United Church of Christ is a multi
Keshet Portland is a group for Jew ish members of the
affirm ing with worship, children's school and child
racial, multicultural, open and affirm ing church Su n day
sexual minonties community and their partners, spouses
care. (10 am Sunday. 3 3 0 0 S E W oodw ard S t
w orship is at 10 am; church school for children runs
and supporters Monthly social, rekgwus and cultural
5 0 3 -23 8-1337 www wavertyucc org.) (7/03)
concurrently (2941 N E Ainsw orth S t 5 0 3 2 8 4 8 7 6 7
events (David or Laney 503-226-7079. ext 14 ) (7/03)
SPIRIT UALIT Y
auccQ teleport com .) (7/03)
Waveriy Haights Church (U C O is open and
Wy'aast Unitarian Universal 1st Congregation is
Koinonia Catholic Community is a progressive,
an open and kberal retigeus community offenng mtergen-
Anawim Community of gay m en m eets w eekly for
small faith community that gathers weekly to celebrate
erational services and rekgous education for chidren. It
Christian m editation and prayer (7 3 0 pm Thursday.
Euchanst at Bridgeport United Church of Christ. A wel
welcom es gay. lesbian, bi and trans members. Nurtures
5 0 3 2 8 1 0 7 2 2 7(7/03)
com ing congregation. Catholic in tradition and Ecumenical
spintual growth and prom otes living by Unitarian
in membership. (6 pm Sunday 621 N E 76th Ave
Um versalist pnnaples (4 pm Sunday 3915 S E Steele
5 0 3 -69 90473 w ww kom onacom m unity.org) (7/03)
St. 503-777-3704 w w w w yeastpnw duua.org.)(7/03)
Motanoia Paaca Community United
Mathodiat Church is a ‘ house ch u rch ' that bnngs
affirm ing congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bi.
Atkinson Memorial Church is a Unitarian
Um versalist w elcom ing congregation in O re go n City.
(7 1 0 Sixth S t 5 0 3 -6 5 6 729 6
w ww atkm sonchurch.com .) (7/03)
Biblo Abus# Recovery is a spintual grow th group
for healing gay, lesbian, bi and trans people hurt and
abused by distorted and m anipulative view s of the
Bible (503-760-5791 biblerecoveryQ yahoo com
w w w ge o cib e s.co m /b é le re co ve ry) (7/03)
Bridgeport United Church of Christ is a com m u
nity of progressive, political people exploring and cele
brating the Chnstian faith W e are sexual minority and
gay and straight together (Daily prayer 7 2 0 am.
trans and heterosexual people w ho w ish to w orship in
Su n d a y gathering 5 pm. 2 1 1 6 N E 18th Ave.
a Chnst-centered. warm, caring, multiage/race/cultural
503-281 3 6 9 7 www tearsoup.com /m etanoia) (7/03)
faith com m unity ( I I am Sunday 202 5 N E 23rd Ave..
G resham 5 0 3 6 6 5 -8 7 4 1 .) (7/03)
Matropolitan Community Church of Portland
holds ecum enical Su n day m orning w orship se rvice s at
9 and 11 am. Su n day school for children is held during
the 11 am w orship service. (2 4 0 0 N E Broadw ay
5 0 3 2 8 1 8 8 6 8 infoQ m ccportland.com .)(7103)
straight, multicultural and multiracial, and our children
Portland Canter for Spiritual Growth is a New
are valued m em bers. (1 0 3 0 am Sunday. 621 N E 76th
Thought, upkftng. refreshmg and exciting place of wor-
A ve 5 0 3 2 5 8 -0 9 9 2 www bndgeportuccorg.) (7/03)
sh p Becom e a minister in our ministerial program
Congregation Neveh Shalom an open and pro
(10 am Sunday C a l for location. 503-777-0727.H 7/03)
g re ssive C onservative Je w ish synagogue, extends a
Portland Church of Raiigiou* Scianca is a liberal,
warm w elcom e to all sexual m inorities Shabbat se rv
open, progressive New Thought community welcoming
ice s 8 1 5 pm Friday and 9 am Saturday (2 9 0 0 S W
everyone to discover the spirit w ithn C hange your think
Peaceful Lane 5 0 3 -24 6-8831.) (7/03)
ing, change your life! (10 am Sunday meditation.
Congregation P'nai O r (Face s of Light) is a
vibrant, egalitarian, Jew ish Renew al congregation in
10 3 0 am service and junior church. 6 3 0 pm W ednesday
Portland Radical Faariaa meet twice a month
5 03 -24 8 4 5 0 0 w ww pnaiorpdx o rg.7 (7/03)
m oon O pen to all men seeking alternative spintual
Lastróse Fellowship Unitarian Universalist a wel
religious education (1030a m . II3 3 N E 181st A ve .
Gresham 503-665-2628 eastroseQteleport com .) (7/03)
grow th and com m unity Coffee hours start 9 30 am
5 0 3 6 6 1 -4 5 2 0 ) (7103)
SistorSpirit offers w om en's spintuality celebrations,
d iscu ssio n groups, a dram m ing circle, w orksh ops and
c la sse s Schedule of events available All w om en are
welcom e. (Suite 102. 3 4 3 0 S E Belm ont S t M ailing
First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open
w ide range of program s to nurture spintual growth,
com m unity and social justice Su n d ay service 9 and
11 am. (1011 S W 12th A ve 5 0 3 2 2 8 6 3 8 9
w ww hrstum tahanportland org.) (7/03)
First United Methodist Church of Portland, a
w elcom ing and reconciling congregation, believes no
one is left out in G o d 's fam ily Sexual m m onty pot lucks
held m onthly (1 0 3 0 am S u n d a y 1838 S W Jefferson
S t 5 0 3 2 2 8 3 1 9 5 w ww fum cpdx org
Spirit Circla is for lesbian, tx or trans w om en se e k
ing a w elcom ing com m unity in the Catholic church
M e e ts every third Thursday in the St. Andrew Nativity
) (7/03)
Gay and Lesbian Outreach (G A LO ) of S t Philip
N e n Catholic C hurch celebrates an affirm ing M a s s fol
low ed by a social (7 3 0 pm Fn d ay Paulist Center.
2 4 0 8 S E 16th A v e 5 0 3 2 3 1 -4 9 5 5 ) (7/03)
Integrity is a group of sexual m m onty Episcopalians
and fnends V a n ou s locations throughout O regon.
(Bruce M a so n 5 0 3 -2 8 6 -9 1 11. brucepdxorQ attbi com.
w ww m tegntyusa o rg ) (7/03)
tion. (1 2 2 0 N E 6 8 th St.. Vancouver 360 -69 3 1476.
vanuccQ aol.com .) (7/03)
welcom e, gay. lesbian, bi, trans and straight. ( I I am
Su n d a y service Bible study 7 pm Thursdays, except
third Thursday. 1500 N E 49th S t 360-885-9461.
paslorQ godsholy1em tory.com .) (7/03)
Metropolitan Community Church of the
Gentle Shepherd in Vancouver w elcom es you
(10.30 am and 6 3 0 pm Su n d a y worship. 9 am Sunday
Bible study 2 2 0 0 Broadw ay The R e v Harriet
B arsh o fsky 3 6 0 6 9 5 1548.) (07/03)
Michael Servetus Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship a Welcoming Congregation, provides a home
School. (7 pm 8 0 6 N E Alberta St.
lbtspm tcircleQ yahoo.com .) (7/03)
and affirm ing liberal religious com m unity offenng a
5701 M acArthur Btvd 360-693-4761
ourclarkcounty Columbian com /273/.) (7/03)
God's Holy Territory is a chansm atic. joy-filled
5 0 3 736-3297. sisterspQ teleport.com .) (7/03)
W ednesday Prayers 6-6 3 0 pm (2 7 4 0 0 S E Stark S t
reconciling and w elcom ing (10 am Sunday
w orship experience in Vancouver w here everyone is
com m unity of C h n stia n s in Troutdale that values and
Education at 9 am; children and youth at 10:30 am
East Vancouvsr United Mathodiat Church is
Ave. (5 0 3 2 3 5 -0 8 2 6 otterQ pcez.com .) ( 7/03)
address: P O B o x 9246. Portland. O P 97207.
encourages all people in finding a place of belonging in
em body spiritual principles (10 am Sunday 10006 N E
Nm thAve.. Vancouver 360-573-2626.)(7/03)
Saturdays at 3 Fnends Coffeehouse. 201 S E 12th
Faith United Methodist Church is a w elcom ing
the fam ily of G o d Su n d ay w orship at 1 0 1 5 am; Adult
lives through love. A safe place where children learn to
First Congregational Church United C hurch of
with potlucks and circles at the full m oon and the new
coming congregation, offers Sunday service and children's
Abundant Ufa Canter is A N ew Thought
Com m unity for spintual awakening and transform ing
Chnst. holds two Sunday services, traditional and
"le s s traditional' in an open and affirming congrega
Portland M e e ts several tim es a m onth in van o u s loca
(503-262 -69 47)1.7/03)
Washington: Spirituality
prayer circle. 398 3 N E 112th Ave. 503261-0677.H 7/03)
tions. (P O B o x 42187. Portland. O P 972 42-0187.
Dignity Portland m eets for M a ss on Sundays.
Zion United Church of Christ an open and
Southminster Presbyterian Church is a chal
lengmg, supportive com m unity that w elcom es all peo
ple. It is the first M o re Light Presbyterian C hurch m
lor the liberal religious sprit (9 15 and It am Sunday
4505 E 18th St . Vancouver 360 695-1891 )( 7/03)
O regon Su n day school and nursery care (1 0 am
Sunday. 12250 S W D e n n ey Poad. Beaverton.
503 -64 4 2 0 7 3 staffOsouthm m com .) (7/03)
St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a
diverse faith community for prayer and fellowshp. (9 3 0 a m
Sunday 806 N E Aberta St 503-281-4429 ) (7103)
St. Jam as Lutharan Church a Reconciled in
C h rist congregation, w elcom es all people for tradition
al. liturgical w orship w here w e experience G o d 's rec
onciling love that se ts all people free (9 an d I I am
Su n d a y 1315 S W Park Ave. 5 0 3 2 2 7 -2 4 3 9
) (7/03)
St. Stephan's Episcopal Church has been w el
com ing all people since 1863 (12.10 pm W ednesday
and 7 45 and 10 am Su n day Su n d a y sch o ol and child
care at 10 am Southw est 13th A venue at C la y Street
503 -22 3-6424.) (7/03)
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
First Congregational Church. United Church of
Chnst is an open and affirming congregation offenng wor
ship and church school Child care provided and wheel
chair accessible (9 am Sunday learning hour. 10 am wor
ship 700 M anor S t NE. Salem 503 363 3 6 6 0 ) (7/03)
Momingside United Methodist Church isarecon -
c*n g congregation where everyone is welcome to part»
pate m the full Me of the congregation (8 30 and 11 am
Sunday 3674 12th S t SE. Salem 503 364-5013) (7/03)
Sacred Souls honors aH sacred paths, promotes peace
and strives to create an environment that supports and
promotes mterfath dialogue M eets at the Oregon School
of M assage
( 6 3 0 8 pm Sunday 440 Ferry S t SE.
Salem whohlthQaol com www sacredsouls o rg ) (7/03)
reso u rce s and support in the com m unity and the
m onthly social events A lso information, referral and
school system s, with a fo cu s on support for youth o f
color (D e s 5 0 3 2 2 8 -3 8 9 2 desQtm farnfy org .) (7/03)
advocacy services in W ash n gto n C ounty (M ofy
5 0 3 2 6 0 -5 7 9 2 m o»yO pndeproiect.otg) (7/03)
Metro: Youth
O uts Ida hi operates a dim e for anyone w ho can 't
8# x till Minority Youth Hoc motion C oottf
C SM Y R Q offers drop-in com puter access, p o d
Flavors, a program of MultiQueer and Brother to
exchange se rvice s that include those w ho inject hor
tables and an informal place to hang out. W eetoy
Brother, is a social support group for sexual minority
m ones. C a n provide transitional hou sin g for youth 20
and younger a s well a s for those H IV + and younger
youth support grou ps includes Trans Youth G roup and
YOUTH
youth of color 24 and younger. M eets every other Sunday
for food and sociatong. Regular events and activities.
(D e s 503-228-3892 o r desQImfamify o rg Stephan
503-417-7991 or hey_stephanQhotm al.com .) (7/03)
The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education
Network (GLSEN) fights to end anti-gay bias in K -12
qualify for the O regon Health Plan a s w e l a s n e e d e
M onday and W ednesday. 4 pm -m dnight Fnday and
Individual and Com m unity Em powerm ent from the
Saturday. 2 1 0 0 S E Belm ont S t 503-872-9664 TTY
Streets), a self support group for queer youth N e e ds
5 0 3 -231 -9 286 w w w sm yrc o r g ) (7/03)
volunteers of all a g e s (10
am-6 pm M onday-Fnday
MuMQuoor. a program o f Lo ve M a k e s a Family,
provides advocacy to sexual m inority youth O ffe rs
Youth H IV/8TD Prevention Profact provides
1132 S W 13th Ave. 5 0 3 -53 5-3800
www outsidem .org.) (7/03)
fun and educational program s along with counseling
Vanguard Youth Service« a program of C a sca d e
ronment. (5 0 3 -8 7 2 9 6 6 4 .) (7/03)
and testing to queer youth m a frtendy. relaxed envi
schools. (1 2700 S W North D akota St.. Suite 180.
*1 29. Tigard. O P 97223. 5 0 3 -5 2 5 1 177
glsenQ glsenoregon.org www glsen oregon .org) (7 /03)
Personal D eity Proxy (a creative group). (4-8 pm
than 23. A lso plays host to V O IC E S (V o ice s of
Behavioral HeelthCare, offers support and recreation to
gay. lesbian, t» and trans kids 23 and younger.
Program s m dude Clackam as County Soxuni
Minority Youth Connection (C 0 8 M Y Q pro-
vides opportunities for queer
and questioning lade to get
together for free, fun and
supportive soae l activities
A iso one-on-one support
and referrals to O ackam se
Washington: Youth
Triple Point offers education, support and advocacy
to gay. lesbian, bt. trans and questioning youth r
Vancouver. W a sh M e e ts 6-8 pm Tuesdays in the
basem ent o f Youth H ouse. 1112 C d u m h e St.
Vancouver (John 360-69 5-1325
r
) (7/03)
C ounty service providers
(503 969-0060 cosmycy
outhOyahoooom.)
Expression Is a free
art/expression support
group In G resham for queer
youth H ang out and have
fon every Friday1 (Jonathan
503-872-9664. ext 28 )
(7/ 03)
Gay, LeaMan, BI, Tram gandar aad
Questioning Youth Group for age s 13 to 18
offers support, inform ation and fon in Eugene. Free,
confidential, adult fonhfated (Drop in 4-6pm Friday
Amazon Community Canter. 2700 Htyard St.
541084-3466) (7/03)
" n O i r f o j f c i onnqs
L e s b ia n . G a y , W a a n a d , T ro n a g a a d a r Y te rth
together W ashington
C r o a p for age s 25 and younger m eets every M onday
C o u n ty queer and question
In Eugene
te
U m inil Performance Group I m m Thtot f t iy i Fh*0 L/ v m
through M ay 17
Willamette Valley: Youth
« a ,
On
11 i j k H n n e
n g youth to plan and attend
(5 pm. Koinonia Cantor, 1414 Kincaid St
541 3461134) (7/03)
Codependent
Sometimes breakin’ up
is extra hard to do
D ear M s .
B ehavior :
James, my part
ner of eight years,
recently told me
that he loves me but
is no longer in love
with me and that
our relationship is
over.
The biggest
problem in the past
three years has been
his struggle with
addiction to crack. I
have been there
every time he has
relapsed to pick him
up from the hospital
or off the floor. 1 love him so much
that 1 have put his well-being before
my own.
I’ve been very depressed for the
past two years or so, partly due to grief
from other losses. (Two previous
lovers died of AIDS.) My depression
and unhappiness with myself have
affected the way 1 interact with James.
I’ve been critical and bitchy even
though 1 love him more than I’ve
ever loved anyone. I think this has
severely affected his love for me.
James now has three months of
sobriety. He has agreed to see a thera
pist together, hut only to help me deal
with the situation; he says there is no
possibility of us getting hack together.
To add to my hurt and confusion,
we will he living in the same house
until I finish graduate school. He
makes enough money for us both to
live on, and there is
no way we can afford
two places now.
The prospect of
losing James is
almost more than I
can bear. He is early
in his sobriety and
may come to realize
once again that we
are supposed to he
together.
Do you think I
have reason to hope it’s still possible
to reconcile? If I need to give up that
hope in order to move on, I want to
know if that’s what I should work
toward.
— Devastated
ment counseling to
help you deal with
your losses.
Regardless of
what happens with
James, getting help
yourself will only
make you stronger.
It’s too soon to
tell if it’s possible to
reconcile, but the
odds are against it
unless James stays
away from the crack
pipe and you stay
away from his wallet.
D ear M s .
B ehavior :
I recently sent out some greeting
cards. To the straight households, I
addressed the labels, for example:
The Smiths
John, Jane, Jack &. Jill
123 Main St.
Atlanta, G A 11111
But to the gay households, how do
I address the envelope— with both
last names or just one?
— Confused
D ear C onfused :
Ms. Behavior is pleased to note
that you have not taken it upon your
self to forcibly hyphenate the names
of couples who have not made that
choice.
Hyphenation should be optional
and should only be considered by cou
ples whose names
sound good togeth
er. (If one has a
name like Rotstein
or Hymen, for
example, it should
not be inflicted on
the other member of
the couple.)
Fortunately,
there’s a protocol for
exactly the situation
you mention. In
sending correspondence to a couple
who don’t share a last name, you
stack the names like this:
Jam es depends
on you to pick
him up off the
floor, and you
depend on him
to pay for
everything
D ear D evastated :
You and James have a mutual
dependency that has grown
unhealthy. James depends on you to
pick him up off the floor, and you
depend on him to pay for everything.
You now need distance from one
another so that James can support
himself emotionally and you can sup
port yourself financially. You should
live somewhere else and pay your own
way while you finish graduate school,
even if it’s difficult. Take out loans,
work on the weekends, do whatever
you need to do to finish.
You may want to seek bereave
John Smith
Jack Jones
123 Frottage St.
Provincetown, MA 02657
Don’t ruminate over which name
should go on top; the one you per
ceive to he the sexual top should be
listed first on all envelopes. JT1
© Meryl Cohn 2003
M eryl C ohn is the author of Do
What I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to
Gay and Lesbian Etiquette
(Houghton M ifflm). Signed copies are
available direedy from the author
Send questions or correspondence to
msbehavvnQaol.com.
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