CO M M ENTAR Y
\\\
M arin D ams
The IN publication for the OUT population
F ounded 1983 • J ay B rown
V ol. 2 0 N o . 8
and
R enee L a C hance
F e b ru a ry 2 1 , 2 0 0 3
FEATURE
COMPANY: Portland couples abandon
fidelity for a brave new world of multiple
relationships. Why?
p 22
NEWS
NORTHWEST • Four views from the invisible
queers of color community; The Queer Profit;
Cascade AIDS Project reaches out
to Portland’s gay bathhouses to help guys
get off without getting hurt
pp 8 - 1 7
NATIONAL • ConocoPhillips nearly rescinds
sexual orientation nondiscrimination policy;
White House nominates anti-gay judges
pp 1 8 - 1 9
WORLD • Belgium OKs same-sex
marriage...with a few exceptions
pp 2 0 - 2 1
ARTS AND C U L T U R E
THEATER • triangle productions! stages
Shopping and Fucking
pp 3 2 - 3 3
ROODS • Susie Bright tracks down
The Best American Erotica 2003
p 35
FILM • Hush! deserves a wide audience
P 37
PEOPLE • Slam poet Kimberly Dark returns
to Portland
p 39
WHAT'S POPPIN'T • Spirited Away is an instant
animated classic
p 40
DIVERSIONS • All heil The Producers; The
Cockettes screens; Skervy needs a new home;
cable documentary series highlights dykes
p41
COLUMNS
MS. BEHAVIOR • Don’t let a homophobe probe
your body
The opposite sex
Why are gay men the only ones who get to have uninhibited sex with strangers?
how it can be justified in this day and age for any person to prowl
enis envy.
around a public park, in the middle of the day, for any and all to see,
It happens.
for the purpose of engaging in sexual activity with strangers. Just
How do I know? Well, because it happened to me earlier
explain it to me. How is this behavior acceptable? It happens in rest
this very week.
areas, public bathrooms, parks, hallways, stores, culverts, gullies and
Imagine my surprise!
crevices. My gosh, is there no place that men won’t use for public
Thus stated, I’ll now clarify with the more precise explanation that
sex? Why don’t you just go to the nice bathhouse? Too safe? Not
it’s not so much the actual dangly apparatus that I found myself envying
enough risk? Don’t wanna spend the bucks? Place too damn clean?
as it was the accompanying freedoms and celebrations of usage that
No thrill of discovery as a family complete with small children stum
come along with this particular, um, nonfemalelike body part.
So where is all this coming from, you ask?
bles upon you in the midst of your little frolic? Voyeurism is a special
ty at bathhouses— can’t that satisfy your little
My epiphany unveiled herself as I was
being given a guided tour of Steam, the new
Lesbians, o f which I am one, have need-to-be-seen urges?
OK, out of the woods and back to the
gay m ens bathhouse that recently opened in
Portland. This was my first behind-the-
potlucks and garden clubs. Gay men, bathhouse. A t least 98 percent of the time I
am the embodiment of proper behavior for
scenes look at a sexual playhouse, and
on
the
other
hand,
get
to
have
sex
the “middle-aged single professional woman."
darned if I didn’t find myself momentarily
being envious of what the fellas get to do. I
with strangers in showers and cute I cherish proscribed dating standards and ritu
als. I believe in and adhere to a set of rules,
couldn’t help but wish that I could play—
little rooms with clean sheets and structures, mores and values. I am appropriate
with appropriate playmates of my own pre
and boringly proper. Apparently, though,
ferred gender, of course.
windows
overlooking
the
spa.
there’s this other tiny little 2 percent, or per
Lesbians, of which I am one, have
haps
even less, part of me that envies gay
potlucks and garden clubs. Gay men, on the
And it's a perfectly acceptable part
men who have a cultural background that
other hand, get to have sex with strangers in
o f "their" culture. What a wide Y allows them sexual behaviors that require no
showers and cute little rooms with clean
conversations, no dinners out and no walking
sheets and windows overlooking the spa.
in the road our sexual identities
on the beach. And before you start writing,
And it’s a perfectly acceptable part of “their"
took on that particular path.
yes, of course, I believe also that gay men are
culture. W hat a wide Y in the road our sexu
guided by strong and viable value systems—
al identities took on that particular path. So
So close, and yet so far away.
again, with that big ole Y in the path on sex
close, and yet so far away.
ual behaviors.
Bazillions of words have been written,
So now I’m wondering, what if there were Dyke Night at Steam?
and will continue to he, on the differences in values, mores, behav
The men are banished for the evening. T he ambiance, the sexuality
iors and attitudes between gay men and gay women. Trust me, I
remain. All traditional rules are set aside for the night. Is it sensual—
have nothing new to add; 30 minutes in a bathhouse does not a
or is it just too damn weird even to think about? Would the 2 percent
legitimate researcher make. But I gotta tell you, I was impressed
inquisitive factor in any other lesbians be sufficient to motivate any
with the attitudes and culture represented in this bathhouse. There
one to go along and check it out? A night of gay sex— for women.
is no deceit. There is no pretense. It is a place to have sex. Sex with
Clean, consensual, playful, bold— whatever. How about it? How about
people you probably won’t he inviting out for dinner. Dessert,
you? You in?
maybe. And it is, of course, all safe sex, mind you. Steam is all so
very clean. It’s attractive and it’s institutionally sexy. And the
Not me.
Nope, while the notion o f free-for-all frolicking might he ever-so-
hands-down best attraction is that it beats the hell out of men hav
momentarily entraining my own 98 percent rules. I’ll happily be
ing sex with men in public parks.
sticking with flowers, dinners out and walks on the beach. I am
O f this latter behavior I am not a fan. Far from it. I seldom go any
entrenched.
longer to my favorite park because I fear my own behavior and reaction
Penis envy.
toward the constant presence of scurrilous sexual activity in places
where only dogs should be doing the sniffing.
T hat’s one thing.
Tell me, e-mail me, write me a letter, please, and explain to me
Penis behavior— that’s another. j n
P 31
OUT WITH ITI • Bob Mensel goes symphonic
p 33
R EFLECTIO N S
..
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.
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5
years ago in
4
• • '-.I—
THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO MARC • What’s up
• The Portland City Council passed two measures
Feb. 11 that increase protections for sexual
minorities. An ordinance co sponsored by Mayor
Vera Katz and Commissioner Erik Sten requires
companies to formally agree that they will not
discriminate against workers based on sexual
orientation.
with gay men and musicals?
p 42
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• The state’s largest daily newspaper declined
Feb. 9 to endorse either of the two openly gay
candidates running for Multnomah County
Commission posts in the March 10 speed
election. In the District 1 race The Oregonian
opted for Diane Linn over George Eighmey.
and in the District 3 race it went with Lisa
Naito over Barbara Wilier.
• The Oregonian ran an informative spread
on the front page of its Feb. 2 Money sec
tion called "Straight Financial Advice for
Those Who Aren’t." The column, authored
PW U Sm AND MANAGING WTM • Marty Davis
ARW IBfTM * Jim Radosta
AITO ANO ORIMI BMTM • Lisa Bradshaw
OfTONAL AMBIANT • Marie Fleischmann
CONTRIBUTORS • Marc Acito, Meryl Cohn,
Jodi Darby, Anthony Davis, Timothy Krause,
by Julie Tripp, featured an interview with Portlander
David A. Woosley of American Express Financial
Advisors.
• Civil rights advocate Coretta Scott King will deliver
the keynote speech at Lambda Legal Defense and
Education Fund's 25th anniversary event March 31 in
Chicago.
• By a vote of 52 percent to 48 percent, Maine
became first state to repeal its gay rights law Feb. 10.
• Washington became the 27th state to ban same-
sex marriages Feb. 6. when the Legislature overrode
Democratic Gov. Gary Locke's veto. It was his first
veto override.
• First Tuesday Coffeehouse celebrates its 10th
anniversary March 3 at Cup and Saucer with perform
ances by Mary Rose, Galloway a id Luckett, Musics
Femina and Nan Collie.
• Zanne dejanvier
Gary Morris, Floyd Sklaver,
Rex Wockner
I • Marie Fleischmann
I • Larry Lewis
Markie Acevedo
• Erin Sexton
I • Kevin Moore
I • Kristine Ashton,
Jennifer Brinson, Ian Drake, Ron Geer,
Mary Hauer, Crash Schwartz