august 2. 2002 »
COM M ENTARY
by
M art y D ams
The IN publication for the OUT population
F ounded 1983 • J ay B rown
Vol. 19 No. 19
and
R enee L a C hance
A ugust 2 , 2 0 0 2
FEAT URE
M IM 6E OR OASIST: Halfway between Portland
and San Francisco appears welcome relief
in Ashland
» 24
NEWS
NORTHWEST • New Orleans bistro keeps it
all in the family; queer parents come together
for fun and support
pp 7-17
NATIONAL • Will AIDS czar shakeup lead to
a renewed commitment in Fighting the disease?
pp 19-21
WORLD • Historic marriage ruling in Ontario
pp 22-23
ARTS AND CU LT U R E
CULTURE • Lock up your daughters (and your
boyz and your daddies): Oregon Leather Pride
Week is here
p 35
BOONS • Queer movie books aplenty
p 37
MUSIC • Tamaras hangs out with Just Out
I P 39
DIVERSIONS • More softball than you can swing
a bat at; Gay Games update; queer Kow earns
top dollar; another step on Georgena’s Journey;
Roman hermaphrodites at the Guild
p 40
WHAT'S POPPIN T • Check out Signs and
Lovely & Amazing
P 41
FILM • Margaret Cho brings it down a notch;
Larry Kramer kisses video
p 42
COLUMNS
MS. BEHAVIOR • Don’t screw straight friends
p 33
OUT LOUD • One Portlander Finds relevance and
joy in the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival
»43
LIVING OUT • When should you stay naked and
not answer the door?
P 44
THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO MARC • Columnist
Communication breakdown
You took the words right out of my mouth
ords.
C an ’t live with them. C an ’t live without them.
And with this perplexing quandary comes annoy
ance, confusion and sincere good intentions about
which words are the best to use for sensitive situa
tions. Situations that all too often can result in unexpected bruised feel
ings and quick sparks of anger and animosity.
Two examples come to mind. First, the word “queer.” Embraced by many,
reviled hy others, this “reclaimed” word is easy to use as a catchall phrase
when describing events, activities, people, whatever, within our community.
Problem is, there are probably as many people who hate “queer” as
there are who glorify in its empowerment. 1 tend to fall in the former
category; to me, the word is still a hateful taunt, and the associations it
brings are far more likely to make me cringe than make me proud.
However, to my staff— younger, educated, diverse— it’s perfectly fine,
the ideal one-size-fits-all adjective. They toss it about like feta on a
salad— spicy, complimentary and the perfect accompaniment to all nouns.
Some months hack we queried our readers on this topic, hoping to
receive some sense of direction. T he responses were the most heartfelt,
well-thought and touching of any we ever have received in “Just Asking.”
Unfortunately, the opinions and feelings expressed were divided
right down the middle. It’s a word that you either hate or love, with lit
tle middle ground.
I tried to take the easy way out and let readers decide the appropriate
application of “queer.” It didn’t work. So here I sit, faced with the same
dilemma-—a cross-generational word vise, with my head firmly clamped
in the grips.
No doubt the best solution is for us to he prudent and thoughtful with
the word “queer” and not use it indiscriminately. Let’s think of it as a
potent spice or herb that is best used in gentle application and quantity.
Self-descrihed queers always shall be such. For other situations I’ll be
challenging my staff and myself continually to sharpen our skills as
wordsmiths and grow to meet the challenge of questionable words.
My second example of frustrating word usage comes from our com
munity’s increasing obsession with “inclusion.” Long gone are the days
when “gay” was accepted as a unifying descriptive.
Now, at minimum it’s “gay, lesbian, hi and trans.” Add to that the
move by some to add “questioning” and “intersex,” and we arrive at a
community totally fractionalized by a “me too, me too” characteristic.
This is driving me crazy.
Does everyone who reads this paper suffer from abandonment issues?
C an ’t we try to be a W E rather than hordes of individual MEs?
We have far more powerful potential as one united community. I’m all
for bringing hack “gay” as an all-inclusive word. Like it used to be in Gay
Pride. Remember that? Well, it’s starting to look like you’ve seen the last
o f that, also. Unless you care enough to do something about it. Do you?
REFLECTIONS
T
ords create feelings. Words touch people. During a visit last month
at the home of Gary Colem an I was moved deeply by the power of
a few somber words.
A longtime member of the Portland Gay M en’s Chorus, he showed
me a photo from the early years. As he paused over each of the hand
some, sturdy fellows, the moment sobered with the words “h e’s gone,
and he’s gone, and him, and him, and him, and he’s gone, too.” Nearly
everyone in the photo had died from A ID S.
Powerful photo, powerful words. T h at photo was 20 years old, and
20 years later A ID S still kills. So does smoking. So does obesity. W e
know these things to he true. If only our behaviors were as easy to
change as are the words used to write about them.
W
"* inally, sad words mark the loss July 31 of Hank Stack. I never met this
kind and gentle man, but like many o f you I was deeply touched by
scenes of his life as presented by the Portland Gay M en’s Chorus in its
recent Vintage Voices concerts.
We must honor and learn from our “senior heroes” while they are
still with us— for soon they, too, will be gone. Ju st O ut offers words of
condolence to the friends, family and co-workers o f Hank Stack. JT1
F
10 years ago in
• A ID S activists from across the nation will converge
Aug. 17 on Houston in a direct challenge to Presi
dent Bush a id the Republican Party. M em bers o f
A C T U P and other organizations will can y out a
w eek o f protests designed to expose the com plete
inadequacy o f the past three G O P administrations in
dealing with the crisis.
has boil lanced on perineum. Details inside,
p 45
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he war of words on the subject o f weight loss continues in our letters
section. Marc A cito is taking the heat for his recent columns on the
topic, hut it was only a few weeks back that the shots were aimed at me
as I wrote about having goals for a healthier lifestyle. T h e most significant
o f these goals being a need to lose a whole lot of weight.
I’m happily leaving Marc to fight his own battles, as shall I mine. While
I do not perceive our weight-loss goals or motivations to be similar, I’m
more convinced now than ever that excessive weight in our community is
a serious health issue and that discussions on the topic are far from over.
Thus said, I also would like to acknowledge that 1 realize there are those
friends and family of ours for whom weight loss indeed would be a luxury of
a problem. For a brief moment of clarity and perspective on the topic, let’s
revisit the story of Georgena Moran and her struggle with multiple sclerosis.
I bet she would be pretty dam happy if all she had to wake up to
each morning was the knowledge that she was overweight. Instead, she
wakes up to a rapidly deteriorating disease and the grim fact that a very
expensive and very experimental stem cell transplant is probably her
only hope for survival.
As noted in earlier stories, friends of Georgena have rallied and
organized in an amazing way as they strive to raise funds for her treat
ment. Sadly, donations and attendance at fund-raisers have stalled.
Your help is needed.
Please visit www.georgenasjoumey.org for an update and the address
for your donation. After all, what’s the biggest problem that you woke
up to this morning?
• A t iong last a gay journalist has convinced the
established press that there is a receptive audi
ence fo r a colum n devoted exclusively to gay
and lesbian issues. D eb Price, a new s edito r for
the W ashington. D .C .. bureau o f the D e tro it
N ew s, began w riting her colum n in M ay. It now
is transm itted by G annett N ew s S ervice to 8 0
new spapers.
• W ith the Oregon Citizens Alliance's initiative
officially on the Novem ber baflot. Campaign for a
H ate Free Oregon has changed its name and wB
be accelerating its activities. The organization
has some benefits and projects planned for
August under its new name, “N o on 9 .”
• The O regon Pet Hall o f Fam e is open to nom inations
to eith er the household p et o r w orking anim al category.
• C lo set Cleaning G roup is an ongoing com ing-out group
with w eekly m eetings sponsored by Phoenix Rising.
• Krazy Dykes Unite, a peer support group for wom en with
mental health issues, m eets twice a month.
• Pink Panthers street patrol conducts training seminars •
the second Saturday o f every month.
• Boldly going w here no soap has gone before. O ne Life
to Live introduced a major plot line in June with a gay
teen-ager.
• M ore than 3 0 0 gay men and lesbians are expected to
participate in seven different sports at S p o rtsfest ’92.
Sponsored by the Pride o f Portland A thletic Association,
the sports festival will take place during Labor D ay w eek
end S ept. 5 and 6. You need not be a professional ath
lete; the emphasis o f Sportsfest is on participation.
• N tghtScene, a Portland C ab le A ccess program , won
the first-place aw ard in the publicity and com m ercial
category during the H om etow n U S A V id e o Festival.
NEWS a m i • Jim Radosta
Tom Stevenson, Rex Wockner
AOVERIW NG BMECTM • Larry Lewis
P M N K T M N A U lllA R fT t • Melissa Sayler,
Zanne dejanvier
ART« AND CM JORI EBfTM • Lisa Bradshaw
ARVERTMNG R R P H M M I • Markie Acevedo
OFFICE MANAGER • Erin Sexton
C M tT IM fT M » • Marc Acito, Meryl Cohn,
Susan Detroy, Timothy Krause, Rachel Lane,
Laura Martin, Christopher McQuain,
Bob Roehr, Sally Sheklow, Kim Stephenson,
NATIONAL AB VHTM NB H
H
H
• Rivendeli
Marketing Company Inc., 212-242-6863
M T EM • Nadia Cannon
P O M .« » AND MANAGING B I T « • Marty Davis
B U N K BMECTM • Kevin Moore
RM TRMM MN • Ed Carder, Ian Drake, Ron Geer,
Mary Hauer, Kelly Keigwin, Merid Schwartz,
Jen Spires, Melissa Weigand