juna 21. 2002-
7
F IL M
..........▼..........
Force of change
A young docum entary filmmaker cuts to the heart
of the turm oil when faith and homosexuality collide
by
C hristopher M c Q uain
to remain an active church member.
During one devastating interview session, he
confides, “As hard as it is to have poor health
and to deal with the pain and discomfort, it
does not come close to the difficulty I had and
the pain I felt in having to reconcile my homo
sexuality with my religion.” It’s only through a
personal favor from a connected friend that
Steve is allowed to remain an active Mormon.
H g l Jg ost often,” Oldham says, “gays who
v come out don’t want to leave, but
1 W I they’re almost forced out because the
two lifestyles just don’t serve one another. In
M orm onism ...it’s not a passive thing. You’re
not just going to church. You’re really involved
in community service...and all o f a sudden, the
calls stop coming.”
She doesn’t necessarily attribute this prob
lem to just her religion, however. “Homosexu
als, just in general, are not being treated fairly
by any religion. 1 certainly don’t think it’s
unique to Mormonism.”
Oldham’s goal, she insists, was not to depict
the Smiths as pawns in the great Mormonism vs.
Homosexuality debate. “T he film doesn’t bash
Mormonism, and it also doesn’t put it up on this
pedestal," she says. “I .. .wanted the Smiths to tell
their own story. I didn’t want it to he Tasha Old
ham’s view on the family.... I didn’t want it to
be aHiut this fight between the Mormon church
and homosexuality, which it could’ve been.”
The most important and thought-provoking
issue arising from the many seeming contradic
Morm on, married and gay: T h e Sm iths are one of film ’s finest examples of the intersection of
tions of The Smith Family is the reclamation by dis
faith, homosexuality and personal definitions of family
sidents— gay and questioning, like Steve Smith, or
straight and questioning, like Kim Smith and Old
ham herself—of the religion that seems to reject
nine years when Steve revealed he’d been sexu
| nitially, it wasn’t filmmaker Tasha Oldham ’s
them. “I grew up incredibly sheltered,” Oldham
ally abused as an adolescent, a traumatic inci
plan to make a documentary about the
shares, “and 1 thought homosexuality was wrong,
dent to which he initially attributed his sexual
Sm ith family. But when Steve Sm ith, a mar
too, because that’s what I was taught.”
encounters with men throughout their marriage.
ried Mormon gay man with A ID S, and his
Life experience has taught her something
As Oldham ’s interviews with the couple
spouse, Kim, also HIV-positive, decided to a)
else.
“I moved out to L.A., and the most
indicate,
there
were
inklings
of
marital
stress
remain married and h) adhere to their faith,
incredible human beings I’ve met [are] gay—
long before Steve came clean. T he couple were
Oldham ’s circuitous quest to document a sub
the most accepting and nonjudgmental— and I
active in the church and seemed to he happily
ject that would highlight the diversity and gray
thought, ‘This just could not be wrong.’ I know
raising their kids, and we’re shown extensive
areas of Mormonism got the better of her.
that with every fiber of my being, and that’s
video footage from earlier in the marriage of
T h e fascinating result is T he Smith Family,
why I have my own issues with the church.”
Steve enthusiastically participating in myriad
which kicks off the 15th season of B B S ’s
But the filmmaker doesn’t believe these
activities with his sons.
P O .V . documentary series June 25.
issues
need to continue to he mutually exclu
Meanwhile, their physical relationship (what
“I was doing a documentary about the diverse
sive. “I don’t believe in throwing out the baby
Kim calls “the fireworks department”) was always
lives of Mormon women,” Oldham explains in
with the hath water. Because I don’t agree on
troubled.
So
much
so,
in
fact,
that
Kim
confesses
an interview with Just Out. “I grew up in Salt
every single thing the church teaches doesn’t
part of her was relieved to find out Steve was
Lake, and when I moved to Los Angeles, people
mean I can’t be a Mormon.”
gay;
she
finally
realized
the
problem
wasn’t
that
were very fascinated with the idea that I was
She believes changes
she was unattractive.
Mormon, and they often had a lot of misconcep
will come, hut not with
There’s a stark contrast,
tions and stereotypes about who Mormons were,
out a change of heart on
indeed, between those idyl
particularly in regard to their women."
the part of the Mormon
lic Smith home videos and
T he 30-year-old practicing Mormon, who
population.
“T h e family
Oldham’s recent interviews
supervises scripts for films and television, says
thought they were the
with Kim and the very ill
she also “wanted to cov er.. .homosexuality with
only
family going through
Steve, their sons and some
in the faith, because it was kind o f a hot topic
this because at the time,
extended family. Though
that wasn’t being discussed.” Although she
11 years ago, they didn’t
Steve characterizes his
wanted to research lesbians, she explains that
know aKiut Family Fel
actions as “unclean” and
“one of the criteria was I wanted the women to
lowship, they didn’t know
expresses immense guilt
he active in the church, and they kept leaving
aKxit
Affirmation,” two
over infecting Kim, he final
the church, so that didn’t quite pan out.”
ly does accept his sexual ori Filmmaker Tasha Oldham believes change gay Mormon support
She then turned to women who had mar
groups. “T h a t’s really why
entation as something sepa comes from people, not church doctrine
ried gay or questioning men. “I met a woman
Kim wanted this, so that
rate from his molestation.
named Allison Donn, and, as sort of a flip, off-
people
would
be
discussing
it.”
Kim is also eventually supportive of Steve
the-wall com m ent, I said she was this amazing
T hat’s why Oldham wanted it, too. “That
(and even o f Salt Lake’s gay community),
woman. And she said: ‘You wanna meet some
would
he my goal— for people to become more
despite
tne
couple’s
many
conflicts
and
the
gru
one amazing? You gotta meet Kim Sm ith .’ ”
open-minded and more tolerant. I mean, 1 know
eling stages of denial and acceptance. However,
the church is not going to change their stand
Kim’s family seems only grudgingly supportive;
n 1999, Kim Sm ith was living with her own
point on Mormon doctrine, and I would never
her father admits he “would’ve liked to hit him
HIV-positive status and her husband’s rapidly
have the delusion of grandeur that that would
upside the head with a shovel,” and the
progressing illness while coping with the
ever
occur.. .it was more for the people to change
Sm iths’ eldest son is equivocal and elusive.
labyrinthine medical system, the turmoil of
their viewpoints, and I think that’s where the
T he most potentially controversial aspect of
their situation and raising two teen-age hoys.
force
of change is going to come.” J H
the
story—
and
what
really
makes
the
Smiths
Simultaneously, she was trying to keep their
utterly fascinating—»is that, feelings and realiza
highly unorthodox family circumstances in
T he S mith F amily airs at 10 p.m. June 25 on OPB.
tions aside, Kim and Steve stay in what K>th
good standing with what many people would
admit is a sexually unfulfilling marriage because
consider a highly orthodox religion.
C hristopher M c Q u a in is a Portland free-lan ce
they feel that is what’s needed to keep their
Steve and Kim had Kith been raised in the
writer.
family together. It is also what Steve must do
Mormon faith and had been happily married for
i
W estover H eights
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