▼
What's so funny?
et me start by saying that nothing is
remotely funny about thousands of inno
cent people dying. Nothing is funny about
the senseless evil of terrorism or the
True stories of healing and laughter
unceasing sorrow of families and friends. Surely
nothing is funny for a humorist like me to say
the broad shoulders of some big fireman.
right now.
1 understand lots of people aren’t ready to
Or is there?
laugh yet—some aren’t even ready to cry—
I’m originally from New Jersey, so 1 know at
hut 1 firmly believe the ability to laugh even
least a half-dozen people who regularly do busi
when the world is falling apart around you is
ness in the World Trade Center hut were lucky
as stirring a testament to the strength of the
enough to be elsewhere that morning as well as
b y M a r c A c it o
human spirit as any.
another half-dozen who live or work nearby. 1
And if ever there was a time we needed to
spent that horrible Tuesday anxiously making
laugh, now is it. What could he funnier than
can retreat. He is relieved, of course, because
frantic phone calls all day.
the sight of Jerry Falwell of the Moronic
whenever disaster strikes New York the next
But even in the midst of panic, at times 1
Majority telling Pat Robertson of the Un-
thing he always thinks of is the scenic hill
couldn’t help hut laugh, and 1 thank God for
Christian Coalition,
it, or else I might have lost my mind. The
towns of Tuscany.
“The pagans and the
I talk to a woman whose son works on Wall
situation wasn’t funny at all, hut sometimes
Street and had been frantic with worry until he abortionists and the
people can’t help hut be, particularly in an
feminists and the gays
called. “How are you feeling now?” 1 ask her a
emergency.
and lesbians...! point
couple of days later.
1 come by this will to laugh genetically. 1
the finger in their
“Pissed off,” my friend harks. I respond
call my aunt to make sure my cousin who lives
face and say, ‘You
gently that lots of people feel the same way
in Greenwich Village is OK, and what do I
helped this happen.’ ”
right now. “Yeah,” she says, “and I had tickets
hear in the background? Uncle Joe playing the
I laugh hardest at
to The Producers this week."
piano. This is a prime example of the Acito
these two clowns be
I watch the news and hear the report of the
Family Emergency Response System. In case of
cause they’re not wor
woman who, upon waking to learn her entire
disaster, lift cover and play.
thy of my shock or dis
lower body has been reconstructed by surgeons,
1 read an e-mail from a gay couple in down
whispers to the doctor, “Does that mean my ass may. I’d love to point
town Manhattan forced to evacuate their
a finger in Falwell’s
is smallerV'
building. As their apartment fills with smoke
doughy face myself, and you all know which
I get a call from a Los Angeles friend who’s
and debris falls outside their window, they
stranded in Manhattan. We talk about the fire finger.
quickly grab emergency supplies: a first-aid kit,
If we deny ourselves laughter and joy, then
fighters we see on television and what heroes
flashlights, batteries, a change of clothes and a
our enemies, he they Falwell or some terrorist,
they are. “Absolutely,” he says, “and they’re
wheel of brie.
have already won whatever war they’ve waged
such hunks, too, aren’t they?”
A friend here in Portland gets a call from
against us.
Admit it. Surely he’s not the only gay man
his parents even though they are nowhere near
1 have to laugh because the Red Cross not
in
the
country
who,
for
a
split
second,
forgot
New York City. “We just wanted to let you •
only refuses the blcxxl of any man who has had
his grief, his shock and his rage and admired
know we’re all right," they say from their Tus-
L
THE GOSPEL
ACCORDING
TO MARC
gay sex in the past 20 years but also doesn’t
want the blood of any woman who’s had sex
with a gay or bisexual man in the past 20 years.
So I get an angry phone call from a female
friend who has to leave the line at her church
bltxxl drive because 17 years ago 1 slept with
her college boyfriend.
1 have to laugh because able-bodied gay
men and lesbians are denied the opportunity' to
serve in the military while my friend’s 70-year-
old father has just been called up by the Coast
Guard to protect the coast of New Jersey.
If 1 didn’t laugh, I’d he crying, and 1 can
only cry so much.
I’m reminded of a time when a friend of
mine suffering from AIDS, bedridden and
mourning for his own life, smiled at me
through tears and said,
“On the plus side, I
won’t have to worry
about saving for retire
ment.” He got better
through a combina
tion therapy of really
good drugs and really
bad jokes. The sicker
the humor, the better
he felt.
I’m absolutely cer
tain that humor kept
him alive. For where
there’s humor, there’s hope. We’re going to
need a lot of both in the months to come.
And that, my friends, is The Gospel
According to Marc. JH
If we deny ourselves
laughter and joy,
then our enemies,
be they Falwell
or some terrorist,
have already won
whatever war they've
waged against us
FIND ACCOMMODATION
to
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EVERYWHERE
• YOU
CAN
SHEAR A SHEEP A LOT OF TIMES,
M a r c A c i t o extends his condolences to all those
who lost loved ones in this terrible tragedy. He can
be reached at marcacito@home.com.
BUT YOU CAN ONLY
in
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W illia m 's en 12th
American & French Dining
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(503)963-9226
• 2075E 12th. Portland, OR • Tues — Sun 530-Cioee
Large Fartles Always Welcome.
Reserve now. your holiday banquet or catering.
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Food
Cocktails,
Wine, Beer
Vintage
Collectibles
Gracious
Service
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4100 S.E. DIVISION • PORTLAND • (503) 233-6950
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All Roads
Lead to...
2716 Martin Luther King Blvd
Portland, OR 97212
CAFE
& CATERING
503 288-4169
W E DO C A T E R IN G
HOMEMADE MEXICAN FOOD/CREAT VEGETARIAN DISHES
DAILY LUNCH SPECIALS • FULL SERVICE BAR • ICE COLD MICROBREWS
BULL R IN G N W
loin us September 22nd lor lm\ikl.is|, lunch or dinner
IO"., ol all I hoc r e d s lo he nel il Al I ) S \ \ M h J 0 0 I
2 4 1 1 SE BellTIO nt
503 . 232.4458
1900 NW' 27th at Ybughn • (503) 274-4096
www.bullrine.cityseareh.com
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non-smoking establishment
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Sat
Join Us for Happy Hour from 4:30pm to 6:30pm
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Stm 4pm
Closed Monday
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