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« july 20.2001
Out of
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houses and houses where people were held
hostage, but 1 never felt the fear doing any of
those things that I did in coming out,” Walker
remembers. “The absolute terror of exposing my
inner self. That was my darkest moment.”
But afterward, Walker felt as if a weight had
been lifted from her shoulders.
“1 don’t have to lie anymore. 1 don’t have
to deceive people. And I’m so comfortable! 1
don’t care that I’m nor a petite little thing.
Hey, I’m 6-foot-5, and I don’t have the best
voice, but I’m ...”
Her voice fades, hidden in emotion.
“I’m still learning what it is to be a woman,” ■
she continues. “I Kx»k in the mirror now, and I
see a woman. There are still things that are new. |
l found out there’s a power hierarchy from when j
I left the male world for the female world. And, j
to some, I’m lower than a female.”
Reaction was varied. Some were curious;
some thought Walker was joking.
A few guys in the sheriff’s department were
worried she was going to hit on them. Others
thought she had misled or betrayed them, and
many felt a loss for the man they knew as Dave.
In all her years serving Yamhill County,
Walker says she has had an exemplary record.
But in the year after her announcement of a
gender change, the department conducted six
internal investigations into her performance.
For more than a year, she was pulled off the
road as field supervisor and reassigned to a desk
job. The sheriff’s office says it was an adminis-
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trative decision, but Walker thinks she was
being hidden away.
Although tension at work has subsided, she
faced another challenge in June when budget
cuts threatened her job. Walker asserts that a
county commissioner hoped to remove her from
the department by eliminating funding for her
position.
She says the politician also tried to circum
vent an agreement she had with the sheriff
and force her instead to accept an entry-level
position, stripped of current seniority, rank
“ / n my law enforcement career, I ’ve kicked down doors of drug houses
0
:
and houses where people were held hostage,
but I never felt the fear doing any o f those things
that I did in coming out.
The absolute terror o f exposing my inner self.
That was my darkest moment. ”
tled out of court with undisclosed terms, and
Walker since has been welcomed by another
facility in McMinnville.
Today, more than a year after her surgery,
everyone calls her Debra. People know which
pronouns to use.
They have made their adjustment, she says.
For the most part, Walker thinks the communi
ty has moved on, and she hopes that by sharing
her story with the public, she will become less of
a curiosity.
“I’m not ashamed of who I am, what I am,
who I’ve been. I have no regrets of my life expe
rience over the last 50 years. I wouldn’t be who
I am if I weren’t male before and had all those
experiences as a male who felt she was a female,
who finally at 50 got to be a woman. Now I’m
living life over and starting again. Not many
people in life have that opportunity.”
Walker willingly offers advice to other gen
der dysphoric individuals. “Do what you need to
do to be happy,” she says. “Your happiness is
going to outweigh the problems you have. It’s a
bumpy road, but eventually you're going to
come to the smooth pavement.”
O
and salary. Prepared for a lawsuit, W alk
er learned only days before the end of her
contract that her position as sergeant
remained intact for at least another year.
Life outside work was just as much of
a challenge. W alker lost her closest
friend, and her wife’s brother has not
been sympathetic.
She also found herself in a lawsuit
against a women-only health club she claims
discriminated against her. The issue was set-
A
pen
C
Linfield College club is a study
in diversity
by
T imothy K rause
hrough a gay-straight alliance called
Fusion, students at McMinnville’s Lin
field College have an opportunity to
address issues focusing on lesbian, gay and bisex
ual social climates. T he club, founded more
T
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June 2001
¡Budget/
blinda
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