July 6.2001 ’ jHStMt '37
“For me, France was
never a specific, premedi
tated destination,” he
writes. “I wound up in
Normandy the same way
my mother wound up in
North
Carolina—you
meet a guy, relinquish a
tiny hit of control, and the
next thing you know,
you’re eating a different
part of the pig.”
The guy Sedaris met is
Hugh Hamrick, a painter
who owned a home in
France; now, they have
places in Normandy, Paris
and New York.
The move also had to
do with another love: smoking. “I think because
I’ve never driven a car—I’ve never polluted
the air that way—I should be allowed to smoke
wherever I want to," he asserts. But the majori
ty of the U.S. public feels otherwise, so the
man who believes nicotine cured his
Tourette’s-like tics (read Naked for details) says
he finds France “a smoker’s paradise.”
Perhaps the primary reason for the move,
however, was Sedaris’ love of a challenge. "I did
n’t care where Hemingway drank or Alice B.
Toklas had her mustache trimmed,” he writes.
about writing full time.
It just means that your
whole life is based on a
paragraph. If you have
to go to work, then at
least you have a feeling
of accomplishment.”
So Sedaris puts his
attention toward various
accomplishments out
side of writing, be it
taxidermy, crossword
puzzles or his latest
obsession, sit-ups.
“I never thought I’d
turn into the kind of
person I always used to
make fun of, but I’m
obsessed now with doing
600 sit-ups a day,” he says, sounding both
proud and embarrassed. “I sometimes get up at
5 o’clock so I can do them.”
After noticing he was having difficulty
sucking his stomach in and reading out loud
at the same time, Sedaris lost 23 pounds by
riding his bike 20 miles a day, lopping 3 inch
es off his waist.
But it turned out the rock-hard abs he
worked so hard to achieve completely repelled
his boyfriend, “so it didn’t get me anything,” he
says, “but it’s just this little feeling of accom-
plishment, and I suppose that’s all I
ever wanted... because that way, if the
writing doesn’t go well I think, ‘Well, I
finished all my sit-ups, I rode my bike
20 miles.’
With hundreds of people storming
the doors of bookstores across the coun
try, a movie version of Me Talk Pretty
One Day being developed by Wayne Wang
(director of The Joy Luck Club and Smoke) and
his paperback release topping the bestseller list,
I don’t think David Sedaris needs to worry too
much about the writing not going well. JM
“Real life isn't a book tour.
All those people lined up
saying how much they love
you—that's not going to give
you anything to write about."
“What I found appealing in life abroad was the
inevitable sense of helplessness it would
inspire.”
Most of Sedaris’ stories revolve around his
failures in absurd situations, so his undeniable
success presents a challenge of a different kind
for someone who typically portrays himself as
an underdog. “Real life isn’t a book tour,” he
says. “All those people lined up saying how
much they love you—that’s not going to give
you anything to write about.”
Having worked as a house cleaner until
1997, when Naked was published, Sedaris says
he’s “never quite adjusted to life without a job,
and now I don’t have working papers.” He con
tinues: “I know so many people whose goal is
to do nothing but write, and that never meant
anything to me.... There’s nothing so good
R I N G O R
Samas as sism NUQsSsarffi
FREE
Sa Ww,
P layer R egistration 5 pm -I0 pm
@ E mbers A venue . HO NW B roadway S t (503) 222-3082
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"The Gospel According to Marc” and draws the
comic strip “The Boys Next Door” but probably
won’t write about his experiences as a department
store Santa at this point.
Me Talk Pretty One Day
i | met Hugh through a mutual friend. She and I were
1 painting an apartment, and he had offered the use of a
12-foot ladder. Owning a 12-foot ladder in New York is a
probable sign of success, as it means you most likely have
enough room to store one....
“In order to get things I want, it helps me to pretend I’m a
Mart«,
figure in a daytime drama, a schemer. Soap opera characters
make emphatic pronouncements. They ball up their fists and
state their goals out loud. ‘I will destroy Buchanan Enterprises,’ they say. ‘Phoebe Wallingford will
pay for what she’s done to our family.’ Walking home with the back half of the 12-foot ladder, I
turned to look in the direction of Hugh’s loft. ‘You will be mine,’ 1 commanded....
“Hugh’s father was a career officer with the U.S. State Department, and every morning a black
sedan carried him off to the embassy. I’m told it’s not as glamorous as it sounds, but in terms of fun
for the entire family, I’m fairly confident that it beats the sack race at the annual IBM picnic....
“Among my personal highlights is the memory of having my picture taken with Uncle Paul,
the legally blind host of a Raleigh children’s television show. Among Hugh’s is the memory of hav
ing his picture taken with Buzz Aldrin on the last leg of the astronaut’s world tour. The man who
had walked on the moon placed his hand on Hugh’s shoulder and offered to sign his autograph
book. The man who led Wake County schoolchildren in afternoon song turned at the sound of
my voice and asked, ‘So what’s your name, princess T ”
SMa®, W 3 - SaooMwii
F riday , J uly 6
M arc A cito writes the monthly humor column
Excerpts from
3 ° Saon-Bm
S unday , J uly 8
C ascade C up B anquet C C elebration 5 pm C 6:30 pm
@ H obo ’ s . 120 NW 3 rd A ve (503) 22M-3M85
Fo?
renoiiliOT im stows oisa ra w ®8 d pass:
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August !9,2002
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77/c IN publication for the OUT population