may 4 .2 0 0 1 »
|| Jj| argaret Cho’s concert film I’m the
| O ne That I Want played on the clos
ing evening of last year’s queer film
H H i- festival. 1 know lots of you were
there because 1 saw you all crammed into
Cinema 21, laughing your asses off.
I laughed, too. If you’re queer, it’s pretty
easy to be a fan of Cho.
I’ve never been a fan, though, of books
written by comedians. OK, you’re funny,
you’re popular, you do sold-out shows, con
cert movies, Letterman, HBO specials; do you
have to write a book, too?!
It’s always just a lot of anecdotes and
quips, exactly what you would hear if you
went to the live show. For about the same
price.
Cho’s new book, also titled I’m the O ne
That I Want, avoids that road by being an
autobiography. She starts on the first page
with her Bay Area birth and ends in her rosy,
successful present.
It’s been quite an uphill battle, and Cho
has a penchant for honesty that is refreshing.
Unfortunately, some of that honesty winds up
reading like your 12-year-old sister’s diary.
Cho tries to be poignant in relating her
painful adolescent experiences but often
comes off merely melodramatic and whiny.
Some of the writing sounds like she copied
soap opera scripts.
Consider: “My face was shaped like a
heart, because through all of the injustices
it endured, it still shined with love.” Or:
“Poor Marcel. His only crime was loving
me.” Puh'leeze.
But wait! It isn’t all bad, not by a long shot.
This is self-proclaimed trash-talking fag
hag Margaret Cho, after all. The book, much
And further thoughts from a famous fag hag
by
In one memorable
bit, she discusses
racism within the
Korean community,
discovering that peo
ple are so desperate
to “perpetuate the
idea that race is
unimportant.. .that
one attacks one’s
own kind to prove
it. This is incredi
bly racist in itself.”
She uses similar
examples around
misogyny, and she
isn’t afraid to use
her own internal
ized sexism as an
example. Half
way through the
book, her agent,
Karen, intro
duces Cho to a
possible new
manger. “He seduced
m e...em otionally.... He was going to be
my manager in shining armor...and I felt
rescued."
She calls this “a brilliant move” by her
agent, explaining, “her words would make a
deeper impression on me when spoken by a
B are — is
KNOW it !
W e know it !
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99
MARGARET C ho will read from and sign I’m the
One That I Want 7 p.m . M ai 9 at Borders
Books & Music, 708 S.W. Third Ave.
LlSA B radshaw is a Portland free-lance writer.
realtor *
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man.” She then confronts herself. “It is hor
rifying to acknowledge the sexism within
yourself, because then you see the enemy is
not in front of you but behind your own
eyes.
Can anyone say, “internalized homophobia”?
Cho grew up on junk food, cigarettes and
marijuana and later became addicted to diet
pills in response to the television network
insisting she lose weight for her show, All-
Am erican Girl. After it was canceled and her
vocal chords were found to be suffering
major damage from smoke inhalation, she
switched to alcohol, nearly drinking herself
to death. This is all pretty compelling stuff,
and she bravely details the effects of alcohol
and drug addiction.
And never one to disappoint an audience,
Cho doesn’t forget the gays. The book’s two
nicest chapters—“On Being a Fag Hag” and
“What It’s All About”—are all about us.
What raises these pages largely above much
of the rest is her complete understanding and
love of the subject. “They were my guardian
angels, taking care of me and being happy to
do so,” she writes. “They make me believe in
God, and they make me think that God is
gay-
When celebrities write books all about
themselves, it’s generally self-serving arrogance.
It might be for Cho, too, but putting it down
you can’t help thinking maybe at least she
deserves it. j n
99
L isa B radshaw
like its subject’s experi
ences, is an exercise in
contradictions of quali
ty and style. One must
have patience.
The rewards come
with Cho’s keen aware
ness of what makes and
shapes celebrities—and
really all people—on a
road to personal and pro
fessional success littered
with sexism, racism and
media bias. As a young
Korean American woman
who was saddled with the
pressure of starring in the
first Asian sitcom in the
United States, her perspec
tive is unique and often
deeply insightful. These pas
sages, as well as her render
ing of San Francisco’s queer
and leather communities,
save the day.
Cho examines bigotry
through purposeful, if scant,
discussions but also in simply telling her life
stories. These stories naturally explore the con
troversial theories regarding similarities
between racism and sexism but clearly show
how they affect you in different ways.
49
/
UCP
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