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Slowly, Lynn began to recognize she was in
not only an abusive relationship but also a dan
gerous one. As she kept attending the support
group and listening to other survivors of domes
tic violence, she started thinking more about
her children and how the violence was chang
ing them.
She knew she had to get out. “What else
would 1 tell my children?” she says.
I
What is Domestic Violence?
D
Keeping Quiet
i f
S
adly, Lynns story isn’t uncommon. It is esti
mated that sexual minority couples experi
ence domestic violence in their intimate
relationships at the same rate as their heterosex
ual counterparts.
Although fewer than a dozen academic stud
ies have examined the epidemic of battering in
the gay community, studies show a prevalence
rate between 25 percent and 33 percent— com
parable to the rates in heterosexual relation
ships. Other studies point to the possibility that
domestic violence is even more prevalent in
same-sex households— some studies reporting
more than 40 percent.
Whatever the statistic, the prevalence of
domestic violence in the gay community likely
is vastly underreported. One study estimates
500,000 men are battered every year in the gay
male community alone. The issue is thought to
be among the most crucial health concerns for
gay men, lagging only behind HIV/AIDS and
substance abuse.
Experts in the field maintain that insuffi
cient public education is part of the problem.
Domestic violence is barely on the radar screen
in the culture at large and even less so in the gay
community.
Although news stories often focus on high-
profile violent crimes in the gay community, like
the Matthew Shepard murder in 1998, reports
seldom tell the stories of the widespread domes
tic violence that occurs. The widely held belief
is that outsiders are exclusively responsible for
violence in the gay community.
Ignorance of the issue isn’t the only reason
the violence is underreported. Studies show gays
and lesbians are less likely to report abuse
because of unsympathetic police officers and
out-of-touch social service providers.
“Why report the violence if nobody is going
to believe me?” some ask themselves. That
reluctance and a lack of general understanding
make domestic violence in the gay community a
complicated problem to combat.
To encourage reporting, the Portland Police
Bureau, like other large U.S. cities, includes
some information about same-sex domestic
violence in training its officers. The bureau
Auto, Home, Life & Business
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One study estimates 500,000 men are battered every year
in the gay male community alone. The issue is thought to be
among the most crucial health concerns for gay m en ,
lagging only behind H IV /A ID S and substance abuse.
also recently started training officers about issues
in the trans community. Some domestic vio
lence workers say Portland police are more sen
sitive to the issue than officers in other cities.
The bureau will begin tracking statistics
about same-sex domestic violence cases after
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Breaking Stereotypes
S
urprisingly, no socio-economic indicators
can predict which couples are at risk for
domestic violence. The stereotype that
partners who come from abusive families are at
risk of domestic violence doesn’t pan out.
Domestic violence is everywhere. “It’s fasci
nating to me that it runs the gamut that it does,”
says Betty Ann Hale, a community activist in
the area of domestic violence who does outreach
to sexual minorities.
Some don’t see domestic abuse in their own
Continued, on Page 22
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breaking in a new data tracking computer sys
tem. It currently keeps statistics about same-sex
domestic violence in broader categories. The
bureau’s most recent annual statistics show that
343 men experienced domestic violence at the
hands of other men; 465 women were victims of
other women.
omestic violence is not just about physical
violence. Any pattern of behavior in which
people seek to control the thoughts, beliefs
or conduct of their partners also is considered
domestic violence, according to experts.
The abuse sometimes comes in a punitive
form: physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse
as a consequence for resisting that control. Bat
terers sometimes take control of finances in an
attempt to gain an upper hand in the relation
ship. Others invade privacy by using their part
ners’ Social Security number and other personal
information to sabotage their credit rating or by
calling employers, family or friends to make
defamatory statements.
All of the abuse is said to leave the victims
feeling alone, isolated and afraid— usually con
vinced the abuse is their fault or could have
been avoided if they would have known what to
say or do.
Domestic violence also comes in another
form unique to same-sex couples. Batterers
threaten to “out” their partners at work, to
friends or to family. They use their own inter
nalized homophobia to abuse their partners, says
Roper, sexual minority services coordinator at
Portland’s Bradley-Angle House, which pro
vides shelter, services and referrals for mostly
female survivors of domestic violence.
Lastly, there are the children in the house.
Although kids are sometimes just observers of
domestic violence and suffer quietly, they also
can be used as pawns when batterers threaten to
involve child protective services by making false
claims of abuse that can result in lengthy inves
tigations.
Whatever form it takes, all domestic vio
lence is considered unacceptable and harmful.
“We don’t believe that there is a hierarchy of
abuse,” Roper says. “Punching someone is the
same as emotional abuse.”
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