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ILLUSTRATION BY RUPERT
Domestic violence
hides in the dark
by Jonathan Kipp • Photos by Marty Davis
Continued from Page 1
Stepping Out of Denial
I
ynn, who is in her 40 s, never dreamed she
would he involved in a relationship where
she would experience domestic violence.
She grew up in a good family; her parents
were not violent. In fact, her history fails to
reveal anything that could be seen as a precursor
to becoming a victim of domestic violence.
Today, Lynn insists on being called a sur
vivor. Despite her suffering through the years,
she says she is nobody’s victim.
The abuse was so subtle at first, Lynn didn’t
even realize she was headed down a road that
would leave her fragile and wary of her own abil
Domestic violence is everywhere.
“Its fascinating to me that it runs
the gamut that it does
says Betty A nn H ale a community
activist in the area o f domestic violence
who does outreach to sexual minorities.
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h
ity to be in a relationship. Her partner escorted
her everywhere. She remembers being held in a
room against her will and recalls driving her car
as her girlfriend grabbed at the wheel, trying to
cause an accident.
It wasn’t until she went to her employee
assistance program at work that the painful
truth of her life began to emerge. She sought out
help because she thought she needed
better coping skills to get along with
her partner.
Lynn thought she was the one
with the problem. But a closer look
into her life by a counselor revealed
she was more likely the victim of
domestic violence.
A t first, Lynn found that hard to
believe. Her partner never had hit
her; she never had been to the hos
pital.
But Lynn followed the coun
selor’s recommendation and started
attending a support group in Port
land for battered women. It was in
attending these sessions that she
started seeing her own denial.
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