5 . 2001
Following his heap!
A new guy in town shares past hardships
of rural queer life
^«Portland«
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Hiiccmt
Sung in Italian with English translations projected above the stage
February 10, 12, 14, 17, 2001
Keller Auditorium SW 3rd
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We have carried on
a long-distance relation
ship for six years, first to
Boise, then to Portland
from Sun Valley. During
this time we have kept
Horizon and Southwest
Airlines in the green, and
we possess almost a billion
frequent flyer miles.
1 lived in Sun Valley
25 years and watched it
transform from a town
with virtually no known
gay community to an
enclave of liberalism and
diversity in what deserved
ly is known as an ultra
conservative state. Repub
lican candidates control
everything in Idaho, hut
in Blaine County, afflu
party was in order. Party tapes were made,
ence and education now prevail. The and
arts every gay man within a 15-mile radius
and culture communities are
was invited.
strong in this resort town, and
You have to understand what an event
with them come people like us.
like this meant to the two or three of us who
Winter skiers and summer
had known about each other all these years.
tourists provide an influx of cul
We had felt, as we all have, isolated.
ture and urbanism. An occasional
But in Sun Valley, we really were
connection thanks to gaydar pro
isolated. Clandestine meetings took place
vided opportunities to mix and
hours away.
mingle with gay men from the
Meetings of more than two or three peo
outside world.
ple simply didn’t exist before this. Suddenly,
Numerous road trips to
20 men were dancing in my living room, 20
Salt Lake City (five hours) and
men relaxed, comfortable in this blaze of
Boise (two hours) also provided
new friendship and connection.
the chance to explore. And as
My close friend Dave was there. For
this was before the Internet,
seven or eight years, we had managed to
meeting with other men was
keep each other from going crazy.
RICHARD still that dance of stares and
We looked hard at each other that night
body language.
and toasted our survival. We had survived
In early 1994, having just
what seemed like years in a desert. And now
turned 40, I was coping with
we were surrounded by what to us appeared
severe depression, suicidal tendencies
a crowd—more like a jumping bar full of
and general ennui. With my little buddy,
men—with music blaring, drinks flowing
denial, I was floundering aimlessly, trying to
and relief everywhere.
figure out the mood swings. But this isn’t so
This seems like long ago now. Coming-
much about my coming out as the coming
out stories seem old and tired after several
out of a whole group of Sun Valley men
retellings. All those breakthroughs were real,
simultaneously.
I’m sure, but now it just seems so easy that
While I was going through tons of thera
the edge and randiness of that time feel
py, I received a mysterious phone call from
somehow like old war stories.
two delightful lesbians who just had moved
But what happened that wonderful summer
to Sun Valley. The message on the answer
and winter smelled like youth—a looking for
ing machine was simple: “You don’t know us, ward with immense excitement I never
hut you want to.”
thought I’d get to experience. Inevitably, the
Unable to resist calling the number they
crowd got too big to be contained in one party.
left, I found myself invited to what might
We splintered into our unique circles: skiers,
have been one of the first gay get-togethers
partiers, those of us in relationships and those
in Sun Valley. With their fabulous taste and
ever on the prowl.
winning style, these two created what might
Now, on the verge of moving to your
he called our gay salon.
vibrant city, I have to think back on how far
As usually happens, this evening led to
I’ve come, how far the rest of Idaho has to
meetings, which led to more meetings. At a
go and how exciting it will he to live in the
Fourth of July barbecue, I was introduced to
city. I’ve had enough of a go at the wild west
my partner. Friends figured we had to meet,
of Idaho and plan on jumping into your city
as we had to he the only two scuba-diving
with my arms outstretched, my eyes open
gay Idahoans in existence.
wide and opportunity everywhere. Looks like
A large part of this story concerns a party
a happy new year to me. j m
that took place at my house around this
time. By now, the jungle drums were
R IC H A R D B r a y is a free-lance writer.
beating, men were dating, and we decided a
ILLUSTRATION BY KEVIN
n a few short weeks I’ll
be moving to Portland
from Sun Valley, Idaho,
to join my partner.