decomber 15.2000 <
H ii s i i s i v r c f i n e w s
T able T alk
Frederick B. Hayes II
itting on the back porch of his North
east Portland home, Frederick B.
Hayes II casually chats over a ciga
rette. His calm demeanor does not
divulge his whirlwind history. Nor
does it convey the immediate controversy
sparked by his unexpected appearance at the
November meeting of the Sexual Minorities
Roundtable, in which he announced his candi
dacy for the position of co-chair.
Hayes, a 45-year-old gay African American,
is in the final year of his term as president of
Woodlawn Neighborhood Association. He first
learned of the co-chair election through a com
munity policing newsletter. Serving on the
roundtable, he thought, would be another way
to do more to help the people of Portland and to
give voice to the African American community.
“There is only one African American mem
ber right now,” he notes, “and she will be leav
ing soon.”
But Hayes, who was unknown to the others
at the meeting, received what he thought was
an adverse reaction.
“People didn’t realize I was gay,” he says. “They
thought I was just some straight guy who decided
he wanted to represent the gay community.”
One woman told Hayes she thought he was
n’t gay because of the inflection of his voice.
“What kind of stereotype is that.7 That all gay
men lisp.71 don’t look at myself in the mirror and
ask myself if I look gay today,” Hayes says. “Soci
ety is funny. People see what they want to see.
munication and safety,
his motivation is much
more personal and pri
vate, provoked by an
Co-chair candidate seeks an honest conversation
intense history that has
and a common understanding by Timothy Krause
shaped the expressive
and charismatic man.
Hayes was born in
Miami, but with a father
in the Coast Guard, his
family soon moved to
Alaska, then Maine,
then Puerto Rico. In
1968, they relocated to
Astoria, where, as often
before, the children were
the only African Ameri
cans at school.
At the age of 15,
Hayes came out to his
family.
“Ultimately, it was,
‘You’re the same son
that
we’ve
always
loved,’ ” he remembers.
_________ “Because of our sticking
together as a family
through all the adversi
Being African American—that’s seen five blocks ty in our lives, it wasn’t this that was going to
away. Then, as people get closer to me, it’s the tear us apart.”
piercings. They might shut off from there
Astoria was also where a prominent choreo
because that’s more than they can deal with at grapher discovered the dancer in Hayes when
once. So 1 was surprised that it was my own com he performed his own choreography at a talent
munity questioning if I was gay or not.”
show. He began to study dance and continued to
Hayes arrived at the meeting accompanied do so after his family moved to Portland in 1973.
by Cmdr. Derrick Foxworth of the Portland A scholarship and budding career soon took
Police Bureau’s Northeast Precinct. Although him on to Seattle.
Hayes says Foxworth was present only to offer a
Even as he embraced the dance world, Hayes
recommendation as a friend and colleague, some found new success in modeling. Seattle offered
perceived a maneuver by police to seat their new opportunities, but work for African Ameri
own choice as co-chair.
can models still was limited. At 25, Hayes faced
The election ultimately has been postponed a crucial choice: Set up house with the “white
until the January meeting so the roundtable can picket fence” or throw caution to the wind and
research whether the group has bylaws requiring embrace his wanderlust.
previous attendance at meetings as a requisite
The latter won, and Hayes’ serendipitous life
began a new chapter with a one-way ticket to
for holding office.
“One of the things I could bring to the France. When he arrived at the airport in Paris,
roundtable is the ability to facilitate meetings, the first thing he did was sit down with a glass of
to keep things moving,” Hayes offers. “The wine and ask himself, “Now what am 1 going to
roundtable began in 1992 and was instated in do.7” After two days of sitting in his hotel room,
1994. Here we are, almost seven years later, and Hayes stepped out to face the world.
His trepidation was short-lived when he
they don’t know if they have bylaws. That
coincidentally ran into a close friend from Seat
should be defined; that should be known.”
Hayes went on to say he personally would do tle. She was in Paris on a modeling assignment
more outreach so all sexual minorities would and quickly arranged for Hayes to break into the
know of the roundtable’s existence and purpose. French scene by working as her dresser. When a
His goals include offering diverse groups of peo male model left for another job, Hayes literally
ple the opportunity for honest conversation. He filled his shoes and landed his first European
emphasizes his skill to speak out to the commu modeling assignment.
Hayes spent 15 years in Paris working in
nity and encourage wide participation.
Although Hayes’ objective is to ensure com- fashion, interior design and bartending. He trav
eled to Thailand and Cambodia before return
ing to Portland in 1995.
His homecoming, however, was not a happy
one. For Hayes, life had come to an emotional
crossroads.
“All my best friends had died,” he recalls.
“The lights had gone out in the City of Lights.
Having survived AIDS— after having seen all of
my friends die— my pact with the powers that be
was that if I’m saved, I’m going to do something
for society.”
Hayes ventured out into Portland and real
ized the city he thought he knew had changed.
It had grown up into a more appealing, sophisti
cated place.
A year later, Hayes met a man with whom he
would share the next four years of his life. He
knew he was home for good.
“I feel I’m here for a reason," Hayes says. “I
have experienced a lot, and it would be very
selfish on my part to hold that inside. I want to
give to others. The more I become involved
with issues about life in Portland, the more I feel
there is a need for me here.”
Whether or not he wins the election, Hayes
wants to be involved. He plans to visit each of
the four roundtables: Sexual Minorities, African
American, Asian American and Hispanic
American.
Hayes hopes one day all four will have a
chance to meet together. “Once I understand
what the issues are for an Asian American, then
I can understand more what the issues are for a
gay Asian American,” he explains.
Hayes wants to use all of his public service
roles to advocate inclusive and diverse neigh
borhoods. He thinks that Portland is comfort
able but that at the same time people have
become lax and uninvolved. On a larger level,
Hayes would like to see a philosophical shift
regarding sexual minorities.
“Hopefully, we as a gay community will
understand that we don’t want to be
‘tolerated,’ ” he champions. "A s a human being,
I want to be understood. I’m hoping that we are
going toward a trend of understanding.”
In addition to his neighborhood association,
Hayes participates in interracial community dia
logues sponsored by the mayor’s office. He
intends to become active in the African Amer
ican Roundtable as well as the Sexual Minority
Crisis Response Team. Each new role, he says,
offers him an opportunity to learn.
“For me, the day I stop learning, I die,” he
says. “Hopefully, any person in public involve
ment or public life is the same way, that they
will continue to learn.” j n
T imothy K rause lives in Portland and works
as managing editor o f a national trade journal for
the recycling industry.
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