¡una 16 . 2000 *
The Portland Lesbian Choir w elcom es supportive
Willamette Valley: Community
5015 COYOTE is an association fo r sex w orkers in
Eugene. (P O B o x 12244, Eugene. OR 9740 I.) (6 /0 0 )
AFTER 8 w orks for. p o litica l change and provides in fo r
m ation and re ferral fo r lesbians, gay men. trans and bisex
An inform al Leather Night and Red Hanky Social
m em bers and volunteers (503-241-8994 ) (6 /0 0 )
are held the firs t and third Friday o f each m onth. (9 pm -12
Portland Gay M en's Chorus is open to singers, sup
am at the D irty Duck Tavern. 439 NW Third Ave
503-224-8446. PDXSaltyDgQaol com) (6 /0 0 )
po rt m em bers and volunteers. (503-460-3689
m wvpdxgm c.org.) (11 /0 0 )
Lesbians Enjoying the Sciences is a fun-loving
The Real Connection is a social gathering fo r gay
group o f women who enjoy exploring all aspects o f the
Harvey M ilk Aw ards D inner in N ovem ber (7 pm second
men w ho are a rtists, w nters, m usicians o r who pursue
Tuesday. 10) N W 23rd St.. Corvallis PO Box 1828.
Corvalks. OR 97339. 541-752-8157.) (6 /0 0 )
som e creative a ctivity M onthly potlucks on the second
Friday. (Todd 503-236-5763.) (6 /0 0 )
environm ent. A ctivities include bird w atching, nature
w alks, archaeology, rock collecting, cam ping, kayaking,
uals m B enton and Unn counties and sponsors an annual
star gazing, an occasional ■lecture" and a m onthly plan
ning potluck. No experience necessary (6 45-8 30 pm
Im perial Sovereign C ourt of the W illam ette
Empire m eets the firs t and th ird Tuesday o f each m onth
at 7:30 pm at the 300 C lub. (300 Liberty St. SE in Salem.
Bob 503-371-8395. e-mail bobphil@uswest. net or Imperial
Princess IX. Lydia O ctave 503-463-8585.) ( 6 /0 0 )
Rose C ity Gay Freedom Band is a concert band
open to lesbian, gay, transgendered, bi and supportive
m usicians and friends (PO Box 1082. Portland. OR
97207. 503-790-2170.
http://com m unity.oregonhve.com /cc/rcgfb.) (6 /0 0 )
second Thursday planning meeting. 503-289-3605 or
503-639-8936 o r 503-466-0058 or e-mail to
lespnw@aol.com.) (6 /0 0 )
Lesbian social group fo r women 50 and over
m eets on the third Saturday o f the m onth. (4-7 pm
Lesbian and Gay Parenting G roup fo r parents o f
503-281-4424. 503-331-0415.) (6 /0 0 )
children ages 0-3 years, m eets the second S aturday o f
Long Yang Club—Portland Chapter a social group
each m onth in Eugene (Aquene . 541- 3 4 4 -5 8 4 7 ) (6 /0 0 )
Parents, Fam ilies and Friends o f Lesbians and
Gays CP FLAG) provides support, education and advo
cacy (6:45 pm thud Monday at F irst Congregational
Church on E 23rd Ave., Eugene. 5 4 1 -3 4 3 4 2 3 9 .) (6 /0 0 )
Men's Support Group, sponsored by S w eet S pint
Metro: General
fo r Asian gays and lesbians and the ir friends, m eets at 8
Bisexual Community Forum is an age- and gender-
pm on the firs t W ednesday and third Sunday o f each
inclusive social, support and education netw ork founded
month at 3 Fnends C offeehouse. (503-963-1841.) (6 /0 0 )
in 1980 A ctivities include dances, potlucks, field tnps and
a polyam ory interest group M eetings are held on the
second and fourth W ednesdays. (7:30 pm at Utopia
Cafe, 3320 SE Belmont St. Usury 503-285-4848) (6 /0 0 )
M etropolitan C om m unity C hurch (M C C ), m eets every
Thursday at 7 pm to share concerns, discuss gay issues,
and support the M C C com m unity. O pen to the public.
(David 503-363-4828. Joseph. 503-363-3392.) (6 /0 0 )
HEALTH
Metro: Anti-violence
Brother to Brother is a fam ily o f Afncan-Am encan gay
and bisexual men dedicated to the em powerm ent o f, and
im provem ent in the quality o f life w ithin our com m unity
A ctivitie s include FRIENDS, a w eekly support and discus
Lulu's Pervy Playhouse is a social group fo r
self-identifying women w ho are into SM Play parties are
held on the second Saturday o f the m onth. (lululistQhot-
mailcom. wwwps.net/wynter/luluspage.htm l.
503-231-3992.) (0 5 /0 0 )
Mount Hood Womyn netw orking professionally and
socially. (503-7018302.) (1 1 /0 0 )
sion group that m eets W ednesdays 5-7 pm Board m eet
Northw est Gender Alliance is a social and support
ings every third M onday o f the month at 5:30 pm. (Brian.
organization for cross-dressers and transsexuals M onthly
P O B o x3182. Portland. O R 97208. 503-417-7991.)
open m eetings and socials (PO Box 4928. Portland. OR
( 6 / 00 )
97208 503-646-2802. www teleport.com /~nwga) (6 /0 0 )
Cocksure is a social group for fem ale-bom . gender vari
Oregon Bears is a social group fo r bears and th a r
ant people including FTMs, transguys, genderqueers and
adm irers. N ew sletter, activities and m onthly social gather
significant others. W e are based in Portland and welcom e
ings. (503-240-2813. www oregonbears org.) (6 /0 0 )
folks from O regon and W ashington. For more info about
Bradley-Angle House provides em ergency she lter tor
our m onthly m eetings and e-m ail netw ork, call
fem ale-identified dom estic violence survivors and a sup
(503) 471-1515. (6 /0 0 )
ORGAN (Oregon Regional Gay and Naked) is a
social club fo r nude men who enjoy being gay. M onthly
potlucks and events. G uests are invited to attend tw o
port group lo r w om en battered by w om en.
events before deciding on m em ber
(503-232-7805. 503-289-6869 ext I I . ) (6 /0 0 )
ship (ORGAN. PO Box 14174,
Clackamas Women's Services o ffe r shel
Portland. OR 97293-0174.) (6 /0 0 )
ter. support and resource re ferral services fo r
survivors o f dom estic and sexual violence
Portland Bisexual Alliance
(O ffice. 503-722-2366. crisis line:
hosts social and political events fo r
bisexual and bi-friendly people.
503-654-2288.) (6 /0 0 )
Organizes Portland Br Day rally and
Family Center O utreach O ffice a program
publishes calendar o f bi events.
o f Volunteers o f A m erica located in S outheast
M ixed gender discussion groups are
Portland, o ffers support groups and drop-in ser
held 7 pm on the firs t and third
vices to women and children w ho are survivors
Fridays o f the month at Laughing
o f dom estic violence (Natalie 503-771-5503.)
( 6 / 00 )
H orse B ooks. 3652 SE D ivision S t.
Open to all (503-775-9717.
Portland Women's C risis Line operates 24
hours a day Interpretatio n services are available
pba@biportland org. www bipod-
landorg.) (6 /0 0 )
fo r women who speak lim ited o r no
Portland Bisexual Women is a
English. (503-235-5333. 1-888-235-5333.) (6 /0 0 )
support and discussion group fo r
bisexual and questioning women.
R oots and Branches and B radley A ngle House
W omen o f any race, age or national
sponsor a support group fo r queer youth
origin are encouraged to attend. (7-9
who have experienced em otional, physical o r
pm second Fnday at Common
Ground Wellness Center. 2926 NE
Flanders St. 5:30-7:45 pm fourth
Sunday at It 's M y Pleasure. 3106
NE 64th Ave $2 donation.
503-2836433) (6 /0 0 )
sexual abuse in an intim ate relationship Free,
confidential and safe. (503-236-0780 ) (6 /0 0 )
Metro: M ental Health
Helios Counseling o ffe rs m ental health se r
Portland Leather Alliance is a
vices to the lesbian, gay. bisexual, and trans
pansexual. not-for-profit organization
com m unities. (5 25 NE Oregon St.. Suite 220.
dedicated to fostering a positive
Portland. OR 97232 50-238-0780 ) (6 /0 0 )
com m unity fo r safe. sane, and con
sensual alternative adult sexualities
in general and S /M /le a th e r/fe tis h in
particular (503-727-3148
Metro: Recovery
wwwpdxleatheralkanceorg.) (6 /0 0 )
Any Lengths Gay A A is a group fo r gay men
Portland M etro Prim e Timers is
that m eets to discuss th e ir so b rie ty Sundays at
a social group fo r men. (PO Box
10 am at G ood Sam antan H ospital. (1040 N W
5884. Portland. OR 97228. 50-244-
7550 or 360-254-1718 pdxpnme-
timersOyahoo.com.) (11 /0 0 )
22nd Ave . Sixth Floor, m eeting room B ) (6 /0 0 )
Uve and Lat Live Chib holds 12 ste p m eet
ings and social a ctivitie s fo r the lesbian and gay
PSU Queers and Allies n v ite s
recovery com m unity. C a l fo r curre n t m eeting
everyone to partiapate n activities
tim es and activities (2940-A SE Belm ont St.
and m eetings Educational and social
503-238-6091.) (6 /0 0 )
Dipstick Lesbians and Dykes w ith Hot Rods
The Lunch Bunch ho sts A A m eetings fo r gays and
lesbians, but is open to everyone. M eetings d a fy at noon
except Sundays at 1 pm . (M e tro p o lita n C om m unity
Church o f Portland. 2400 NE Broadw ay, en te r on the
north side o f the budding.) (6 /0 0 )
xivite women w ith cool cars to go cruism w ith them
(Rachel503-735-1184. Dewoune 50 3-28 9-3 104 .)(6 /00)
First Wednesday Social is a potluck fo r H IV * people
Smith Memorial Center. Portland State University cam
pus. E-mail: queersandalhesOmaii pdx edu.
m w ess.pdx.edu/sfcsg/queersandalhes. 503-7235681)
and their fnends (P h ip 503-234-1811.) (6 /0 0 )
( 6 / 00 )
Funny Ladles Tea and Posy Society s a socak
r Ai-Anon m eets Thursdays at 6 pm at the
group fo r lesbians
M CC Church, N W 24th Ave. and Broadw ay
35 and ovei. singles or couples
They
m eet fo r a potluck on the thnd Saturday o f each month
(503-222-5756) (6 /0 0 )
sexualy. o r em otionally A lso hosts a lesbian and bisexual
women s support group. (C risis 541-4856513. business
«1 the N orthw est, is open to
a t orientations,
M onthly m eetings, w orkshops, and new sletter
(503-650-7052. rcdcO teleportcom .
wwwtelepod.com /~rcdc.) (6 /0 0 )
Together Works, a confidential group fo r lesbians,
and the men vdio kke them that way (503-241-4535 or
gays, bisexuals, and friends, m eets for socials and d scu s
wwwchubnet.net/gentlegvnts M 6/00)
son s o f topics o f mutual n te re s t M eets second and
Im perial Sovereign Rose Court ° * Oregon s a
nonprofit social organization dedicated to raising money
541*4858232. lesbian ahance 541-3022417.) (6 /0 0 )
sexual club
fetishes and lifestyles that are safe, sane and consensual
new sletter is $9 per year (503-232-9714.)
v in g an accepting, social environm ent fo r chubby men.
»provides a 24-hour ho t hoe and shelter
for women and children w ho have been abused physicaly.
Roes City Discussion Chib the largest open pan
and take cam ping tnps during the summer M onthly
Gentle Giants of Oregon is a group defeated to pro
Willamette Valley. Health
program m ing, support and referral
services fo r persons o f a t orientations and colors. (441A
Metro: Arte & Music
Wednesday S ocial * a poduck fo r H IV * people
Metro: Physical Recreation
6 00 )
The Adventure Group. Portland's gay and lesbian o u t
Jewish Gay M en's G ro up -cat fo r m eeting tim e and
doors group, organizes a variety o f activities and social
events inducing hiking, slung, mountam W ung. cam ping
and their fnends (Contact flh d p at 5 0 3 23 4 1811.)
( 6 / 00 )
and rafting (503-452-5680. www acNenturegroup org )
separate men's, women s and pansexual
B/D/S/M par
tie s R efer to web site for s c h e d te
(www hawkenet co m /brotthe/w olf h tm l) (6 /0 0 )
If your girlfriend left someone to
be with you, you might have sur
mised that she’d be capable o f leav
ing you to be with someone else. It
goes against the desperate wish to be
special, but if you want to know
what someone is likely to do, look at
what they’ve done in the past. That
may sound harsh— yes, people do
recover from things like low self
esteem, addictions to smoking crack,
and sometimes even an attraction to
bad synthetic hairpieces— but in the
absence o f some kind erf horrendous
pain or dramatic spiritual transfor
mation, they often stay stuck in bad
habits. Like leaving someone else’s
panties in the glove box. (Perhaps
you’re lucky that a card is all you
found.) O r dumping their devoted
mate for the next exciting person
who comes along.
Worse yet, your partner may be
primarily heterosexual. T h e problem
with dating straight women, in case
you haven’t noticed, is that they’re
often recidivists. Sure, there’s a
chance they may love you and
remain committed to you for life.
But, before letting them into your
heart, you also need to remember
that there’s probably a better chance
they’ll return to the hard stuff.
Last September, I moved in with
my boyfriend after a three-year
courtship. W e met online in a chat
room.
H e still likes to go online and
chat with other gay men, and I have
no problem with that. But, every
time I enter his office and he is
online, he quickly minimizes the
( /
Lair Dungeon hosts m onthly discussion g m p s and
D ear K ate :
D ear M s . B ehavior :
(5033068700. ISRCOaol.com.
WWW geocities com /W estHolywood/Heights/7887 )
place (503 246-5939. efrair4ewOaol.com.) (b /V il
—Kate
First Baptist Church. 125 SE Cowls S t. McMmnvrte
Don 503-4346266 ) (6 /0 0 )
com m unity. ISRC Event H otline lists upcom ng events
J
I met my girl
friend at work about
two years ago. She
was married at the
time, but after about
three months o f dat-
ing me on the side,
she left her husband
to be with me. I
thought we were very
happy together.
T h e problem is that, lately, she’s
been staying late to work on projects
with a geeky guy named Fred. I
found a romantic card that Fred sent
her under her car seat last month
when I cleaned out her car. W h en I
asked her about it, she said that Fred
had a harmless crush on her but that
she didn’t share his feelings. I’m not
sure I believe in harmless crushes.
Last weekend she and Fred went
for an eight-hour bicycle ride
together while I stayed home and
did chores. T h e week before that,
she went to the office on Saturday
to help him with a deadline and
spent most o f the day with him. I
don’t want to nag her because I’m
afraid it will drive her away, but I
want her to be honest with me.
W h at should I do?
fourth M ondays (7 3 0 pm M ay-Sept. 7 pm O ct -April
fo r chanties withm the gay. lesbian, bisexual and trans
SOCIAL
D ear M s .
B ehavior :
( 6 / 00 )
_____________
, i
Chib . the largest m o tor
cycle dub fo r gay men and'fnends n W estern Canada
and the Pacific N orthw est, hosts day runs and camping
window so I w on’t
see who he is chat
ting with or what he
is typing. I respect
his need to do this
but have begun to
get a little suspicious.
A few nights ago,
while he was asleep,
I logged on to his
computer and
launched his mail
program. I know this was not an
honest thing to do. There were sev
eral e-mail messages from a guy
named Rob. M y suspicions took
over and I read them all, even the
ones that my boyfriend sent Rob. I
have been seriously pissed o ff for the
past few days because o f what I
found. R ob and my boyfriend are
indulging in e-mail sex and have
exchanged nude photos o f each
other. I never even knew that my
boyfriend had nude pictures, but I’d
know that cock anywhere!
1 can’t say anything because he
would be mad as hell if he knew I
sneaked into his e-mail. H e has a
bad temper sometimes, and I hate
when he is mad because he stops
talking to me for days. But it really
bugs me that he is doing this. R ob is
from the W est Coast and we live on
the East Coast, so I’m not worried
they will meet ,but I am worried
about my boyfriend’s habit.
W h at do you think?
—
E-mail Sneak
D ear E- mail S neak :
It doesn’t sound like letting it go
and chalking it up to boyish fun is a
choice; you’ll probably continue to
seethe about the raw correspon
dence you saw on your boyfriend’s
computer until you deal with it in
some way.
But if you plan to confront your
boyfriend about his e-mail affair, you
should tell the whole truth, even
though it may infuriate him. D on’t,
for example, ask him why he mini
mizes the window when you enter
the room without disclosing your
own sneaky behavior. It would be
dishonest to challenge his right to
privacy without telling him the real
reason that you’re upset.
D on’t even think about taking a
highhanded position. Be honest; tell
him that you felt threatened and
you know that reading his e-mail
violated his privacy. Apologize for i t
Tell him that you worry his in volve
ment with other men online (espe
cially if it’s one particular, intimate
relationship) could damage your
relationship with him.
Ms. Behavior doesn’t mean to
worry you further, but don’t be false
ly comforted by the geographical
distance. A mere 3,OCX) miles is
rarely an obstacle to two sexually
preoccupied people who delight in
one another’s e-mails.
Write your confused and conflicted
heart out to Ms. B ehavior at
MsBefejviw@aol.com.