february 4 . 2000 • JMat Mat 13
m rrw nTJnetus
Too little Time? Too much to do?
Try u s . . . we make
M oving M oment
and how difficult it was for everyone at the club
when he disappeared. Darcelle often paused to
gather her thoughts and wipe away tears. After
acknowledging the family’s grief, Darcelle noted
A service is held to remember Lindsey Alexander by P a t Young
the grief of friends.
“We sometimes forget how friends also
t was 3 p.m. on Super Bowl Sunday, a time
T he photos revealed the many facets of mourn,” she said.
when people worldwide hovered around
Asay’s life. He was smiling in all of them.
T hen she read a poem as a tribute to the
television sets to— well, you know—
friendship between Lindsey and Lindsey’s room­
watch football.
say’s family scattered his ashes in the sea at
mate, Farrah, whom Darcelle described as the
Bandon, Ore., in mid-January. Darcelle
closest person to Lindsey in Portland.
But certainly not everyone. A nd cer­
invited them to the memorial service, and they
O ther attendees shared their thoughts. Some
tainly not during this most recent sportiest,
welcomed the chance to attend. N ot every
stories brought laughter; others brought tears.
which fell on Jan. 30.
member could attend, but two brothers, two sis­
“Lindsey was my very best friend,” said Far­
Nestled in the ever-popular Old Town club
ters and two sisters-in-law— some still living in
rah. “There isn’t a day that goes by when I d on’t
Darcelle XV, friends and relatives of Todd Asay,
their hometown of Eugene— traveled to Port­ think about her.”
a k a Lindsey Alexander, instead gathered for a
land.
Asay’s oldest brother, Kelly Asay, described
memorial service, hosted by Darcelle and Roxy,
him as being the bright
to remember the talented per­
spot in their family.
W alter Cole, a k a Rose Empress Darcelle XV, speaking
former.
“A nd I can see that
at a memorial honoring Lindsey Alexander
“Every year at Memorial Day
he is the bright spot in
we would sit at his dressing table
yours, too,” he said.
and say, ‘Well, my gosh. Here it
Asay’s sister Melissa
is, one more year and we still
noted th a t Todd had
haven’t heard anything from our
w anted the family to
Lindsey,’ ” said Roxy, recalling all
remain part of his life
those years of wondering. “We
after he came out, but
always referred to him
that was not what hap­
Lindsey."
pened.
Asay disappeared 10 years ago.
“During the years that
He was last seen outside a down­
maybe we weren’t such a
town Portland gay bar.
close part of his life, he
O n Dec. 24, 1999, police
had family here,” she
found Asay’s rem ains buried
said, recognizing the love
in the back yard of
and support her brother
a
Southeast
had in Portland. “A nd
Portland home
that is so wonderful and
once owned by
comforting to know.”
Brian
David
T hen she added: “I
Hill, who has
think that if I could see
been
charged
Lindsey right now, I
with the 1989
would tell her that I’m
O ne of the sis­ jealous that she is the most beautiful woman in
murder of Asay.
ters, Lindsey, was our family.”
The
waiting
only 11 when
and wondering are
Laughter filled the club.
her older broth­
over. Now it’s time
It was easy to see how beautiful Lindsey was
er disappeared.
for
family
and
as the service ended with a video of one of her
A fter
she
performances.
friends to say good­
learned of his
“I knew Todd as Todd,” commented his
bye and have closure
lifestyle, she
brother Mark as he looked around at the rough­
to the mystery that
was flattered
ly two dozen people who had gathered at Dar­
often haunted their
that he had
celle XV. “The thing that surprises me is the fact
thoughts.
chosen her
that 10 years after he disappeared, his friends
O n Sunday after­
name as his
want to remember him.”
noon, the norm ally
stage name.
“Thank you,” he added, “because it gives us a
boisterous club was
“O ur friend is resting now,” chance to say goodbye to the Todd that we real­
somber, yet full of warm
said Darcelle at the beginning of the service.
ly didn’t know.”
memories. Photos and
“I understand that if you go in the oceans here
flowers took center stage
at the Oregon coast, you end up in all the
■ PAT YOUNG is a Portland-based, free-lance writer
instead of the usual female
and gay and lesbian historian. She is currendy writ­
impersonators. Snapshots of Asay with his fam­ oceans of the world. Isn’t that neat?”
Darcelle spoke poignantly about Asay’s life ing a book about Ballot Measure 9.
ily hung next to publicity photos of him in full
drag.
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