January 2U2ÛQ0 ? J a a t M tfj2 5
his morning I woke up thinking about who could be the
witnesses for the signing of my last will and testament. I
must admit this is quite a serious thought to have prior to
my morning coffee, but creating my will has been a sub
ject that has popped into my thoughts periodically during the
past several years.
My thoughts about writing my will surfaced three years ago
after my separation and subsequent divorce from my husband. I
was married for 10 years but never felt the need to draw up a
will. My impression was that since everything from the checking
account to the house was in both names, the laws would protect
the rights of my spouse in the event of my death. I took no
action toward making my will and, finding it difficult to face my
own mortality, did as many people do: I procrastinated.
My thoughts about drawing up a will took on more signifi
cance after my partner, G ina Ortola, and I had been dating
awhile. I began to ask myself questions like “What if something
by S herri O piel
happened to me?” and “Who are the most
important people in my life r
Also, since my parents had no knowledge
about Gina or my transition into my lesbian
identity, I began to think about how awful it
would be if I died and my parents and Gina
were to meet under such stressful circum
stances. My parents would never realize just
how important G ina was in my life, and
G ina would not only have to deal with my
death, she would be in the awkward position
of explaining our relationship and would be
responsible for my posthumous coming out
event. I did not want to put my parents or
Gina in such an awkward position.
After three-plus years of taking no action,
I was finally prompted to take the next steps.
My love for G ina has been the major factor
in my decision. I realized the laws that pro
tected my spouse in the event of my death
would not be there for my partner, Gina.
Without a will, I am not sure who would be
the recipient of my estate.
My first step in the process was to come
out to my parents during my most recent
visit with them in Florida in April. I wanted
them to know the real me and to understand
just how important G ina is in my life. Even
Sherri Opiel (standing) ponders paperwork with her love, Gina Ortola
though they have not been receptive toward
DOLLARS
& SENSE
I will survive
A Portland woman procrastinates
no more and affirms her life and
love with a last will and testament
Queer financial resources
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WvV V&l AA
A. ■: W . '
my identity and have not acknowledged my relationship with
Gina, I have found comfort in knowing the groundwork is in
place in the event that I become ill or die.
My second step occurred only recently. Yes, 1 procrastinated
some more during my process, but over the holiday break 1 took
the next step. I wanted to find a preprinted last will and testa
ment form to fill out myself. I found a source in the Yellow
Pages: Stevens-Ness Law Publishing Company, located in down
town Portland. For only $4-50,1 purchased a will kit, which con
tained the will and instructions. One section within the will pro
vides a place to give specific items of property to specific people.
Another section is used to designate the individual or individu
als to receive the remainder of the estate after all debts and indi
vidual gifts have been distributed. The form also suggests con
tacting an attorney for specific questions.
As I reviewed the form and began to fill out my will, I realized
1 could give special items and property to specific people without
adversely affecting G ina’s interests. The will
g encouraged me to open my mind and think
| more broadly about my extended family and
| what special things 1 could do for them.
>
Also, filling out my will allowed Gina and
S I to talk about how difficult it would be if
? one of us died. We both agreed that the one
remaining would need time away from work
to grieve and heal. A s a result, we have both
been reviewing our 401 (k) and life insurance
information to make sure that each of us
would have the option to take off work for a
substantial period of time and be taken care
of financially over the long term.
A t this point 1 have filled out the form,
but I do have a few questions and intend to
step through a final review with an attorney
to ease my mind. To avoid any further delays,
however, I signed my will today with two
friends as my witnesses.
■ SHERRI O piel lives with her partner,
G in a, m
N ortheast Portland with their dog, N ikon, and
their two cats, Em m a and O pie. This article
shows her responsible side, but she prefers
approaching life from her more playful and spirit
ed side. She strives to keep balance between
work, fam ily, friends and time for herself.