K ahunya W ario
>hen I first encountered the Radical
Faeries, 1 was almost overwhelmed by
two conflicting emotions. One was
intense fear, and the other I can only describe
as ecstatic jubilation. On the one hand, I kept
thinking, “Oh my God, these are the people
my mother always warned me about!” and,
on the other hand, I thought, “These are my
people— why did it take me so long to find
them.7”
What I found when I arrived at Breitenbush
Hot Springs in February 1995 for my first
national gathering of Radical Faeries was for
me the beginning of a profound change in the
way I view the world and my place in it. I dis
covered a group of gay men in all shapes and
sizes and from all walks of life joyously celebrat
ing the fact of their gayness in whatever way
their hearts directed.
Even though I had been out several years, I
had never before experienced such jubilation
regarding my sexuality. O f course there had
been a sweet rebelliousness when I first realized
I could go to a gay bar and dance the night
away in the arms of another man. There had
been moments of elation knowing there was a
world of gay men out there with a subculture
that I could claim as my own.
But after a few years of forays into this
world, disappointment had begun to set in. I
found that while 1 had a very good time danc
ing to the gay disco anthems and feeling a
sense of unity and brotherhood, for me those
feelings rarely lasted beyond last call and lights
up. Disillusionment was all around me as the
AIDS epidemic swept through the community
and several people I knew were either infected
or were very ill and dying.
Still under the heavy influence of my evan
gelical Christian upbringing, I had begun to
wonder whether this wasn’t a punishment from
God for queer rebelliousness against nature.
From some dark place the thought had begun
to creep into my mind that it was only a matter
of time before I too fell under the blow of “His
terrible swift sword” and was banished to the
fiery pit “where there is weeping and wailing
and gnashing of teeth.”
As a result of this turmoil I began to ques
tion my ultimate worth and usefulness as a gay
man. During my early coming out years, I had
associated mainly with gay men who seemed to
feel we were no different from heterosexuals,
except for the people with whom we chose to
sleep. They approached the question of the
reason for our gayness from a purely biological
point of view. Somehow this failed to satisfy
me on a deep level; something inside me want
ed validation on a spiritual and emotional level
From the heart
Three gay men share
their experiences
as Radical Fareies
and without shame, and I have personal
ly experienced the transformative power
of the Heart Circle.
Gatherings also include a great
amount of play and just plain frolicking.
Almost every large gathering includes a
fashion show featuring inspired, out
landish costumes created by gifted
Faeries. There is also a “talent/no talent”
show open to anyone who wishes to
exhibit a particular skill— or lack
thereof.
Faeries gather in a variety of ways.
Heart Circles happen every day during
large gatherings such as the ones held at
Breitenbush. In Portland there is a Heart
Circle and a potluck every full moon at
the home of one of the Faeries. Kof-
feeKlatches are held every Saturday
morning at 3 Friends Coffeehouse; this is
mainly a social time and does not
include a communal Heart Circle.
Kahunya Wario, dressed in his native Kenyan
In the Pacific Northwest there are
clothing, displays some of the artifacts that have
three
large gatherings every year: winter
spiritual meaning
and summer at Breitenbush and a larger
too. I found the Faeries when I was at a peak in
gathering at Wolf Creek Sanctuary in southern
my search for this kind of validation.
Oregon. The Wolf Creek gathering is held on
The Faeries expressed a jubilant celebration
land that is owned by the Faeries, and there is
of queer life in a way I had not experienced
a small community of Faeries who live there
before. Through ritual, song, dance and exu
year-round caring for the land. There are also
berant creativity, they made a safe space for the
many other circles of Faeries across the United
individual and collective exploration of what it
States and Canada and around the world.
means to be gay. The whole experience seemed
The beauty of the Faeries is that each per
to focus on the questions “Who are we.7 Where
son experiences being a Faerie differently,
have we come from? What are we here for?”
which also makes it difficult to define what it
means to be a Faerie. I’ve asked some of my
Many among the Faeries, myself included,
Faerie friends to share what the experience has
feel that gay people are not an accident of
meant for them.
nature, that we are here by some “divine” pur
pose, that nature gives us as a gift to the world.
This concept is for me the “radical” part of the
A ndre Pruitt
Faeries. There are clues all around and among
believe it was the spirit of the Radical Faeries
us. 1 believe the fact that there are so many of
that found me. Over a two year period I ran
us involved in healing, counseling, teaching
into people who told me bits and pieces
and creative professions is one of these clues.
about the Faeries. A t the time, I was exploring
A major source of power and healing for
spirituality and what it meant to be gay and
many Faeries is the Heart Circle. This happens
how that fit in with my spirituality. During this
when two or more Faeries get together and
time I met people from many spiritual paths
each one speaks from his heart, openly express
and consistently ran into Radical Faeries who
ing joys, fears, triumphs and failures in a sup
were comfortable being gay, each in their own
portive, nonjudgmental space. It is profoundly
way.
freeing to be able to speak one’s thoughts freely
ju st n r *
Our office hours are
M on-Fri lO aitM p m , But
www.justout.com
is open 24 hours a day,
7 days a week
It hadn’t been easy being an openly gay
black man in Portland, even within the gay
community. I found myself being ignored and
passed over as if I didn’t exist. This caused me
to be unsure of myself and to wonder what was
wrong with me. I picked myself apart, and the
easiest target was my body image. Obviously I
couldn’t change the color of my skin, but I
found that I could change my physique.
A t about this time I met a Faerie who told
me how Faeries honor who each person is as
well as what they look like— all aspects of
body, mind and spirit, both the feminine and
masculine. Everything about each one.
He encouraged me to attend a gathering
and learn more about them. It was mind
changing. At the gathering I saw men of all
shapes and sizes and spiritualities honoring
each other and supporting each other emotion
ally and spiritually. For the first time it felt
good to be black and gay.
It was at this gathering that 1 met Griffith
Black Swan, another black Faerie. (There were
only two of us at that gathering.) He showed
me such love, wisdom and compassion, and I
felt honored and respected by him and my
white brothers.
Meeting the Faeries opened me to a new
way of looking at my spirituality as a gay man. I
stepped out with a new sense of joy and power
onto the ever-evolving path of growth.
Joy Turtola
n 1 9 9 1 ,1 attended a men’s gathering called
“Softening the Stone,” which was held just
outside Washington, D.C. There were both
gay and straight men there, and many of the
gay men were Radical Faeries. They had a
Heart Circle and put on fashion and talent
shows. At first I was repelled by their energy,
and I said to a friend, “I could never wear a
skirt." Two days later, I was frolicking through
the woods naked. I had found my people.
I went to my first Faerie gathering in Febru
ary 1994 at Breitenbush, and then moved to
Portland the following year. For me, Faerie
gatherings are a direct and immediate source of
vibrant, unconditional love and acceptance,
magic, and deep, soulful healing. Faerie gather
ings are a place where all parts of me are wel
comed and celebrated. My Faerie brothers have
literally held my hand as I walked through the
dark forest of my grief and danced with me as I
celebrated my Joy.
■ F ey D irt is the Portland-area Radical Faeries
information line, (503) 235-0865. The national
magazine is RFD, which also has an Internet site,
www.rfdmag.org, with links to much of faerieland.
visit us on the Internet
for all of the follow ing:
w r ite a le tte r t o t h e e d ito r
E -m a il
ju s tm iv s ta ff
o r d e r a s u b s c rip tio n to
ju s trT T V
fo rw a rd y o u r O u t & A b o u t a n n o u n c e m e n t
s e n d in y o u r JUST FRIENDS VOICE PERSONAL AO
s u b m it y o u r c la s s ifie d a d
c h e c k fo r c a le n d a r d e a d lin e s
v i e w n e w e s t JUST FRIENDS VOICE PERSONAL AOS