Bifflööüt Lei Me Earn Your Business... ‘Don't change now!’ When buying or selling real estate, I represent your interests! Experienced, Innovative , Up-to-Date Steve Buchert, To the E ditor : It has been awhile since I’ve paid money to hear a white man spout racial and ethnic slurs and call it “humor.” I was stunned, hurt, out­ raged. For much of its 15 years, Just Out has been a strong anti-oppression voice. Don’t change now! Thanks for bringing us Dos Fallopia as a reminder that we can celebrate and laugh inclu­ sively, and be gentle with each other. N o more of that other drivel— I can find all too much of the put-down, hate stuff just flipping channels. Realtor Office: 228-9801 • Mobile: 970-3801 e-mail: bucherts@hasson.com D eb Z ang Portland Custom: * T-shirts Thanks to you Full Service To Advertising Specialties & Premiums * Screen Printing * Embroidery * Business Gifts for 10 years * Trade Show s * Employee Aw ards * Apparel our com Serving Call: ( 503 ) 239-7047 1 - 888 - 505-2028 the E ditor : This year, United Way is moving toward increasing its number of donors and raising more than the roughly $20 million collected last year. With a little help from companies, donors and volunteers, I know we can achieve this goal. Just Out has made it possible for us to get our message out into the community and I thank you. You’ve helped your readers make informed decisions on where best to donate their hard- earned dollars. Thank you again for your con­ tinued support and for all that you do to help change people’s lives. D ick R eiten U nited W ay campaign chairman P resident and CEO , NW N atural Portland Mind your p’s and c’s To Buy the Best. From the #1 Brand in Health Clubs. Bikes Recumbents Climbers Treadmills Come in today for a free test drive Your the ing. I write this in that same spirit, towards cre­ ating more awareness and greater community. E ditor : In Just Out's Oct. 16 issue, there is a news article entitled “Able Allies,” which reports on the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force’s Honoring Our Allies awards. The first three awards went to African American people— two members of Congress and a minister. Partial text of two of the speeches is included, and is very moving. In the same issue there is a book review about the Eleanor Roosevelt and Lorena Hick- ock relationship [“White House Correspon­ dent,” Just Out, Oct. 16]. The piece cites a letter from Hickock in which she mentions a “funny little colored maid.” This includes no “sic,” no caveat, no “whoops, sony about this.” The statement is gratuitous, not relevant to the point of the article. Didn’t anyone notice that it is insulting as well as demeaning and stereotyping to a person of color? These two articles are actually on the same piece of newsprint. The other pages had fallen out, and so the articles sat side by side staring at me. As I looked at them 1 became angry, sad, embarrassed. I fear that this is not an isolated incident, but symptomatic of the unconsciousness that white privilege gives many of us. It is a lack of aware­ ness that is especially embarrassing when the article just before it shows a strong awareness and openness from people of color towards the gay community. I appreciate the presence of this paper and the work you all do towards community build­ R hea Portland Will O ’Bryan, entertainment editor and the book review’s author, responds: The excerpt I used highlighted the nuance of sex­ uality between two women in the early 1940s. It also includes a phrase that many find offensive. I admit I was hesitant about using that example because of the questionable text. On the other hand, I thought deleting the racist wording would have made me guilty of trying to polish history. You suggest there should’ve been some notation to twtm readers about the content. I’d hoped the date at the top— 1942 — ims warning enough, but I was obviously wrong m this case. Please consider that I grant your observations about white privilege and strive to be aware of my own, as well as the various degrees of enculturated racism that reside within us all. I’m no monster To the E ditor : I am often annoyed by the smug and classist portrayal of lesbian parenting found in Beren DeMotier’s column, I Kid You Not. Her charac­ terization of “some monster mother stalking her noncustodial child” [“Black Badge of Courage,” Just Out, Nov. 6] went beyond annoying into the realm of cruel and offensive. I am a noncustodial parent, and I also volun­ teer in my children’s classrooms. In addition to the “spontaneous hugs” received from kids, I also get to explain, again and again, whose mother I am. I get to repeatedly ask that notices my kids bring home also get mailed to me. I get to miss parent-teacher conferences because the kids’ dad “forgot” to tell me, and the teacher, who I had previously informed of this possibili­ ty, “forgot” to call me. Teachers have been reluctant to give me access to my kids’ school records, although I am allowed them by law. I am challenged point- blank. And I have to explain, again, that although someone else identifies as my chil­ dren’s mother, I actually gave birth to them and cared for them up until three years ago. And I am trying as hard as I can to be involved in their lives. N oncustodial are invisible in general, and noncustodial moms are suspect, perceived to be monstrous and unnatural. W hat mother wouldn’t be with her kids? My kids don’t live with me because I am a dyke and I am poor. Although I am certain that DeMotier didn’t intend to vilify noncustodial mothers, she needs to be aware of the messages she sends in her col­ umn. N ot all parents live with their children. Not all mothers have unlimited access to their chil­ dren. To refer to a noncustodial mother as a “monster” is unconscionable, especially in a queer-oriented paper. Lesbian mothers still lose custody, regularly and heartbreakingly. Perhaps DeMotier should peek her head out into reality once in awhile, because only luck and money keep her from standing in my shoes. And portraying noncustodial mothers as she has does not lead to “planting the seeds of accep­ tance” in kids or adults. J es N elson Portland Fitness Portland Delta Park Beaverton Town Square Clackamas Ross Center Letters must be accompanied by a phone number 286-1292 644-061S 659-4055 NORTHW EST 1-800-659-0421 for verification purposes. Anonymous letters and letters without sufficient contact information will not be published.