ju s t o u t ▼ d eco m b e r 5 , 1 9 9 7 ▼ 19
Good dean (and sober) fun
Live and Let Live Club hosts a social to celebrate its new home and 17 years of service
▼
by Patrick Collins
fter its near-death experience in 1996,
the Live and Let Live Club is back,
healthier and more alive than ever.
The group will celebrate its 17th birth
day on Dec. 6.
The club offers meeting space to 12-step re
covery groups for members of the sexual minority
community facing drug and alcohol addiction.
All of the meetings are grounded in the Alcohol
ics Anonymous tradition.
Jean Duncan, Live and Let Live’s fund-rais
ing coordinator, describes the Dec. 6 celebration
as an opportunity to reminisce about the last 17
years of friendship and recovery in a clean and
sober environment.
The club started, unofficially, in 1976 as a
potluck meeting. Two other regular meetings
began in 1979. With the addition of a fourth
meeting, Live and Let Live was officially founded
and opened its doors in December 1980, only two
blocks from its present location.
Duncan stresses that providing those in recov
ery with a space for socializing is an essential part
of the club’s mission.
“We’re the only sponsor of clean and sober
social activities for the sexual minority commu
nity in Portland,” she says. “Social events like this
provide more glue in the recovery process, a place
to relearn social skills without drugs or alcohol.
It’s an alternative to the bar.”
Duncan, who has served on the board of direc
tors for the past three years, says she is pleased
with the club’s recovery.
In 10 years, Live and Let Live has moved
seven times. Last year the organization nearly
folded, plagued by a series of unsuitable loca
tions, the last one of which cost the club a good
deal of money in the form of fines paid to the City
of Portland for code violations.
“Every move we made cost us money and
members,” she says, sitting in the bright and
comfortably furnished “living room” of the club’s
present location at 2940 Southeast Belmont.
When the club left its temporary housing at the
Metropolitan Community Church, for instance,
six of its regular meetings stayed behind.
“With the membership at less than 20 we
began to question if there was a need,” Duncan
admits.
Of course there was, she says now, speaking
with the relief of someone who’s come through
the fire and lived to tell the story.
The club received grant funds from the Equity
Foundation and the Living Enrichment Center, as
well as donations and pledges of support from
A
members. It is also
currently negotiat
ing for a lease that
will last from three
to five years.
Live and Let
Live currently has
107 members and
offers 15 meetings
per week, ranging
from women-only
AA groups to a
youth-oriented
sexual diversity
roundtable. The
club plans to begin
offering a 12-step
meeting for incest
survivors in the near
future.
Duncan’s wish
list for Live and Let
Live’s future in
cludes permanent
housing, a reference
library for recovery,
and expanding the
diversity of meet
ings.
“I want this to
be a hub of recov
ery,’’she says. “Get
ting funding is
tricky, though. We’re an odd duck as an organiza
tion. We ’ re an official nonprofit, but getting grants
for a group which serves sexual minorities who
“Recovery is about rigorous honesty,” he says.
“It’s about looking at yourself very closely, and if
you’re afraid of being rejected at your most vul
“We’re the only sponsor of clean and sober social activities
for the sexual minority community in Portland.
Social events like this provide more glue in the
recovery process, a place to relearn social skills
without drugs or alcohol. It's an alternative to the bar.
”
— Jean Duncan
are in recovery from drug and alcohol addiction is
very specific.”
One longtime member of Live and Let Live
who spoke on condition of anonymity, says his
involvement with the club has been a cornerstone
for his recovery. He feels it’s important for sexual
minorities to have their own recovery meetings.
nerable moment because of your sexual orienta
tion, I think you lose something in the process.
“Recovery is about learning to live with an
addiction,” he continues. “It’s not about sexual
orientation. Also, gays and lesbians have issues
around their addictions that heterosexuals may
not have to deal with, issues around their partners,
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their families and how open they are.”
He says that before he quit drinking he viewed
himself as a second-class citizen.
“I had no idea how I fit into the gay commu
nity,” he says. “Doing social maneuvers sober
made a huge difference. It’s a whole different
atmosphere if you’re not drinking.”
Sober since June 1985, he now owns his own
business and says he enters situations as an openly
gay man.
“In my life,” he says, “I’ve made a choice for
recovery.”
The club’s anniversary festivities kick off at
6:30 pm Saturday, Dec. 6, at Helensview High
School, 8678 NE Sumner St. in Portland.
The evening features hors d ’oeuvres, a dance
and a raffle with prizes ranging from free
massages to free desserts. Admission is
$4 for nonmembers and $2 for members.
For more information about the event, or
Live and Let Live Club, call 238-6091.
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