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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 3, 1997)
ju s t o u t V October 3 , 1 9 9 7 ▼ 3 V IE W F R O M H E R E Bring in this ad and receive I FREE RENTAL! When you rent another video at regular price. Aloha, lesbians! Heterosexual women might try giving off a lesbian aura to pick up guys 1 coupon per customer per month. im pulse V90E0 T 246-8328 10120 SW Hall Blvd. (near Washington Square) 452-8254 8511 SW Terwilliger Blvd. IM P U L S E ---------------- ^ V ID E O ---------------- (across from Chez Jose's) 245-8351 6356 SW Capitol Hwy. (next to Nature's in Hillsdale) Inspfrfncj R u b b e r S ta m p s an d S u p p lie s E c le c tic M ix o f O ver 4 0 0 0 R u b b crstam p Im age* Art Book* A cid Free S u p p lies * U nusual Paper* C lasses fo r t h e C rea tiv e S p ir it THE STAMP PAH W h e re E v e r y o n e ’s an A r t i s t 3423 SE Belm ont *** 231*7362 *** Open E veryd ay uring my first year o f college, I at tended— with a female date— a loud and crowded fraternity party called “Early Eighties.” I believe it was while we were dancing to “Electric Boogaloo” that the first in a long series of intoxicated fiat boys accosted us. “Well hey, ladies,” was his scintillating opener. I gave him an acknowledging nod, a slight tilt of the head that clearly stated, “W e see what you have to offer, and we would rather eat tree bark. We are lesbians, and we do not welcome propo sitions from hirsute Cro-M agnon men.” Apparently, however, Fratboy misread my nod as meaning, “We are only together because we have no m en. Do you have back hair? That attracts us very m uch.” He continued undaunted, attempt ing to dance in between us, wanting to be— dare I say it— the meat in a lesbian sandwich. He made a rather earthy remark regarding his desire for multiple bed mates. “1 practically have a bedspread embroidered with ‘Aloha, Lesbians,’ ” he might have said, if he hadn’t been drinking quite so much. I later reflected on the event with a gay fiat boy friend o f mine. “W hy, out o f a room full o f women, do they go for the lesbians? Do they really, really like a challenge? Do they want to march with us in the next pride parade?” “ No,” he says. “They think you’re going to sleep with them .” “ But why— ” “I know, Jen. It doesn’t make sense.” He revealed that the presence o f lesbians in his frater nity house is a popular topic on their e-mail discussion list. “ Man, why don’t we have more lesbians in the house!” the brothers lament. The funny thing is, were I to attend a fiat party like “Early Eighties” alone, I would attract abso lutely no notice. I mean, I really don’t measure up to some of those luscious man-worshippers. For example, I don’t squeal delightfully when an oafish fiat boy spills cheap beer on me in a dimly lit basement where my boots stick to the floor. But, since giving off a lesbian aura seems to be so effective in attracting men, I can only wonder why hetero women don’t try it. Tw o straight sorority sisters grinding on the dance floor would get all the male attention they could possibly desire. Why bother with painful plucking and arduous eyeliner when the same results can be achieved by sitting in adorable Tiffany’s lap? Or, you know that trick where a straight woman pretends to have a boyfriend to make the man she really wants jealous? It would have so much more impact if she whined, “Trisha’s really nice and all, but sometimes I just really find m yself wishing she had...m ore appendages.” That would be enough to make any lesbian-lusting fiat boy die with a blissful, arrogant grin on his face. If Fratboy wants this from a real lesbian, he’s distinctly out of luck. But as gay men and lesbians become more visible and accepted at the nation’s colleges and universities, perhaps straight women will realize the potential o f a little woman-on- woman action and will turn our cam puses into hotbeds of lesbian experimentation. Am I com plaining? No, not at all. Aloha lesbians, indeed! Jennifer Dziura is a dyke at Dartmouth College. Her writing is distributed by The Rainbow Writers Group. Tour her Web site at www. dartmouth. edu/~jdizzy. ju st out welcomes Letters to the Editor (Letters should be limited to 500 words, typed and double-spaced.) PO Box 14400. Portland, OR 97293-0400 Fax: (503) 236-1257 ▼ E-mail: JustOut2@aol.com Brought to you by: Presents o f Mind To P lan Y our F inancial F uture J ust C runch T hese N umbers : ( 503 ) 238-6036 For most people, the hardest part of financial planning is making the phone call But once ft 4- My you do, you'll be very surprised to realize how easy it all can be. As an experienced account representative. Floreid is committed to helping Community Resources & more ! u 4258 SE HiwtIiornoBlvd. Portland OR 97215 286-0505 individuals, domestic partners, couples and families understand their financial options. Whether the goal is bud geting, retirement planning, life insurance or saving for college. Floreid's expertise will help you to make the right choices. Why put it ofP Dial your future in today ID WAl.KF.R r(503) 238-6036 l-800-487-6626 icemail:(503) 291-7713 ttp:/www. waddell.com * Reed m * M u i s ris s rs We Appreciate Our Just Out Supporters! 500 NE Multnomah. Suite 278 Portland. OR 972)2