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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (May 2, 1997)
à » ' • * TP # • 8 ▼ may 2, 1887 ▼ jus* out (Er®y <®^ym®dl aomdl ®[p®ipaati®dl8 • Native plants • Fruit, nut. shade and flowering trees • perennials and shrubs • ORGANIC CONTROLS!! LANDSCAPE DESIGN and MAINTENANCE AVAILABLE!! national news Last wishes unmet A Philadelphia cemetery refuses to allow an epitaph that would memorialize a lesbian couples ’ love No tax to Oregon buyers!! Founded in 1911, Rose C ity Veterinary rh ' ' ]§1| » Hospital is Portlands oldest pet hospital. ' ■’'•* <fiy ' ■ ' ' v * - > s . > V 'jÇ Ï" if, ' As the new owner, I am proud to he able From Interstate 5. take Exit *16 to La Center, cross the bridge, turn right on 4th St., left on Highland Ave. 2.9 mi. through S curves to 369th St., left on NE 369th St. and then left 1 a o a -, c n c on NE 31st Ave. ^ 2 6 3 -1 5 0 5 j Hours: Fri. Sat. 9-6, Sun11-5 36009 NE 31st Ave, La Center, WA > $ -v t ' ' \ ^ $ jg$g^ , _ to carry on this tradition of service to the mgmtm City of Roses hy giving your pet the finest medical care, hoarding and grooming as Travel th e w o rld , but call us first. well as lots of loving compassion. Please 1 c stop by lor a visit. :.... v 'lv iitS ;? :;; D octor Grcuy Qut r/t M m M vF jjm J '>.',73 .< 8 0 9 S E P ow ell Boulevard (near th e R oss Island Bridge) 232-3105 > ; ' !**' Reg #60 232-5944 1 - 800 - 232-5944 1939 SE Hawthorne Blvd. *x*. Portland, Oregon T by Inga Sorensen t is both a simple and eternal request— and one which has been honored for married couples throughout the ages. I Yet for Sherry Barone and Cynthia Friedman, it won’t come so easily. The women, who were in a 13-year-relation ship before Friedman died o f cancer in 1994, are at the center o f a lawsuit filed April 15 by the New York-based Lambda Legal Defense and Educa tion Fund Inc. Lambda is suing a Pennsylvania cemetery that refuses to erect the headstone requested by Friedman and Barone, both Philadelphia natives. According to Lambda, following her 1989 diagnosis, Friedman signed extensive documents in an effort to ensure that her relationship with Barone would be given legal force. Lambda says just as most people in a long term relationship would, Friedman wished to rely on her partner’s judgment about her medical care and arrangements after her death. In several discussions about her headstone, Friedman asked Barone to m& tprrr&yp-'.tr. ...... ■ ■■ — ---■ include the inscription: “ B elo v ed life partner, daughter, granddaughter, sister and aunt.” W ithin days of Friedman’s death, Barone purchased two adjoining plots in a Philadelphia-area cemetery. Prior to her death, Lambda says, Friedman explicitly rejected any rela tives’ authority to challenge actions by Barone on her behalf. Yet despite Barone’s having been given full le gal authority, the Har Jehuda Cemetery in Upper Darby, Penn., insisted it could not follow her in structions for the headstone. tress by refusing to honor the couple’s request. Bucket also tells Just Out this case exem pli fies the need for equal marriage rights for same- sex couples. “Opponents of same-sex marriage say it isn’t needed because gay and lesbian couples can supposedly obtain all the rights and protec tions through other legal documents,’’ he says. “Well, Cynthia and Sherry did that and yet here we are in court fighting for the rights that a married man and woman would never have to.” Buckel says this isn’t the first case involving anti-gay discrimination on the part of a cemetery. He cites a case two years ago involving a Long Island gay male couple who sought to purchase a joint plot. Buckel says the cemetery balked, claim ing the men “were not a family.” Lambda became involved and the case was eventually settled with a favorable outcome for the men. As for this most recent case, Buckel says attempts at mediation failed, despite statements of support that Barone gathered from friends of the couple as well as some o f Friedman’s rela the Cemetery asserts^hat Lambda staff attorney David Buckel (left) and plaintiff Sherry Barone tives. because Friedman’s parents do not agree about He says the cemetery insists upon having the her determine wishes concerning headstone epitaph, a to Friedman’s the epitaph. consent o f Friedman’s parents approving the in court order must grave resolve that Barone has authority Friedman’s remains unmarked because scription, or a court order requiring it to follow o f the cemetery’s refusal to act on Barone’s in Barone’s instructions. structions. According to Buckel, both women were raised “This just shows that anti-gay discrimination in Jewish families and have relatives buried in the can follow us to the grave,” David Buckel, the Har Jehuda Cemetery. Lambda staff attorney handling the case, tells Just He says as a result o f the cemetery’s refusal to Out. respect its contract with Barone, the traditional “This couple did everything a lesbian or gay “unveiling” o f the headstone occurred without a couple can do to make sure their relationship was grave marker. The unveiling is an important Jew given legal effect, including drawing up wills, ish tradition that officially marks the end of the powers o f attorney, health proxies and explicit grieving period one year after a loved one’s death. instructions to the survivor for carrying out wishes. “I didn’t complete the grieving process that a Those legal precautions are supposed to allow a person should have after losing a loved one, and survivor to focus on grieving and healing,” he I will never recover from the emotional and spiri says. “Sherry Barone instead has faced the pain tual agony o f the unvei ling at Cynthia’s unmarked and stress o f seeing her partner’s explicit wishes grave,” says Barone, now 36. “My life cannot go disrespected and o f having to fight for the most on fully until I know that Cynthia’s spirit is at rest basic respect for their relationship.” and her wishes have been carried out.” Suing on the surviving partner’s behalf. Abbe F. Fletman, a Philadelphia lawyer as Lambda filed Barone vs. Har Jehuda Cemetery in sisting Lambda on the case adds: “In response to federal court in Philadelphia. The case asserts that a grieving partner’s efforts to honor the wishes o f there is no legal basis for any party to contravene her loved one, we have had to go to court to get Barone’s authority to carry out Friedman’s wishes. justice for Sherry and Cynthia. We hope this will Furthermore, the lawsuit asserts the cemetery be a lesson for everyone about the need lesbian breached its contract and caused emotional dis- and gay couples have for legal protections.” FHOIOBYDfo DITCH ITCH ACRES