just out ▼ m arch 7, 1907 ▼ 3
KONA
H A W A II
tie rs
We all need leaders
To the Editor:
JoAnn Loulan, longtime leader in the lesbian
community, is sleeping with a man. “Some will feel
betrayed, some will be stunned and hurt, and some
will be accepting of her following her heart,” writes
Renée LaChance [Editorial, Just Out, Feb. 7,1997].
As a bisexual, I agree that we should feel sad
when a high-profile woman seems to have broken
solidarity with lesbians. In the lesbian, gay, bi­
sexual and trans movements, our leaders are pre­
cious to us. Each o f our m ovements is small
com pared to the dominating heterosexual m ain­
stream. Each o f us needs every leader we have.
Loulan says that she doesn’t feel that she is
bisexual, even if her actions might seem to merit
that label. I have no desire to force the label upon
her— bisexuals are all too familiar with being told
that we are “passing through a phase” on the way
to our true gayness/lesbianism, too used to being
told that “bisexuality doesn’t exist, you’re just
confused.” For the sake of my own community,
the bisexual community, I feel a strong need to
defend whatever identity Loulan chooses.
At the same time, part o f me does wish that
JoAnn Loulan would now say she’s bisexual. The
bisexual movement needs all the visible leaders it
can muster, just like lesbians do. Furthermore,
Loulan has the potential to draw attention to one
of the most painful blows that we bisexuals expe­
rience: ostracism from our lesbian or gay peers
when we come out as "bi.”
O ver and over again, when women that have
identified as lesbian come out as bi, their friends
reject them and call them traitors. But bisexuals
belong in this m ovement— when straight men
have threatened and harassed me, it’s because
they see me simply as a queer. W e have a mutual
enemy; we must be each other’s allies. Far too
many o f my bisexual peers have lost old and deep
friendships for coming out. W ounds sting espe­
cially when they com e from family.
Many women are going to be angry at Loulan
for sleeping with a man, and some are probably
going to ostracize her, regardless o f how she has
chosen to identify herself. In short, she’s going to
know firsthand what bisexuals experience. So,
while I would wish this experience on no one, I also
see that Loulan is in a valuable position to increase
the visibility of what we bisexuals are put through.
I want to see Loulan speak publicly about the
ostracism that bisexuals coming out in the lesbian
community experience, but still I can ’t begrudge
LaChance’s wish: “I can’t help but hope that her
new relationship w on’t last forever and that she’ll
again fall in love with a wom an.” We both need
her, lesbians and bisexuals alike.
Sven Bonnichsen, Political Director
Portland Bisexual Alliance
Judge not
To the Editor
Instead o f judging and condemning lesbian
activist JoAnn Loulan for falling in love with a
man, perhaps we should thank and praise her for
giving us the opportu n ity to c o n fro n t o u r
heterophobia and fears o f loving the opposite sex?
David Gray
Portland
Fanning the flames
To the Editor:
The [Feb. 7 editorial] is a sad exam ple o f how
far diversity really goes in this publication.
LaChance lauded Loulan’s many accom plish­
ments before dropping the bomb on us. Oh my
Goddess, she has deserted the fold, fallen down a
dark and unlovely path. The crim e? She has fallen
in love with a man. LaChance reports that Loulan
is now pondering how to incorporate the feelings
o f being “culturally lesbian” while having a mo-
nogamous relationship with a man.
Welcome to the world o f bisexuality, JoAnn,
where these kinds of questions are our constant
companions. Where it is common to hear of “re­
percussions” from “the community” toward those
who have been lesbian and then come out some
time later as bi. Along with LaChance, my hope is
also that she not be judged harshly. Framed in this
way, Loulan’s leap over the sexual fence sounds
more like a crime against lesbians than one person’s
honest journey into unfamiliar territory.
LaChance states that her first response to the
news was “shock, sadness and disbelief.” Does this
remind you of anything? Like the time you came
out to your parents, perhaps? Siblings or friends
who felt “betrayed” and “hurt” when they found
out? Because theirdreams for us would never come
true, because they thought we might suffer, we
might have lives that were not as fulfilling— in
short, because we were condemning ourselves to
second class citizenry. Did we have a choice?
W hat ever happened to the great outcry for
diversity? In the same issue o f Just Out in which
we have the cover and lead story dedicated to
three gay African Americans, we have an edito­
rial that takes a backhand slam at bisexuals. You
have fanned the flames o f distrust and closed the
doors on openness and dialogue. You have cre­
ated an either/or situation, a right and a wrong
way to be, and you have made self-labels more
important than learning and self-expression.
I know heterosexuals who are deep in denial
about their same-sex attractions. I know lesbians
who sleep with men, and bisexuals who have mo­
nogamous relationships with either same- or oppo­
site-gender people. Are you still a lesbian if you
sleep with men but just neglect to tell your female
lover? Are you still straight if you are married but
secretly sleep with a person of the same sex?
The fact is, sexual identity, sexual behaviors
and romantic attractions are not always congruent
in humans, because humans are complex crea­
tures. If you are bisexual, you get used to ambigu­
ity (pun intended), and eventually you leam to
em brace it, because every day you leam some­
thing new. Openness feeds my curiosity, my
intellect and my humanness.
Deborah Samuels
Portland
Dangerously hypocritical
To the Editor:
There is enough hate around us; we don’t need
more o f that, especially in the pages o f this pub­
lication.
I am angry that someone in your position dem­
onstrates so much discrimination toward bisexu­
als. Do not try to deny or “cure” bisexuality. This
is no different from the standard puritan view of
homosexuality as a moral aberration and affliction
that needs to be medically and psychologically
“treated.” The “pure” lesbian that you are cannot
ignore the reality o f bisexuality, even if you don’t
understand itor don’t approve. Attractiveness based
on gender-related traits is societal conditioning.
My love for women doesn’t define me as a lesbian
but as a human being who has to struggle along the
narrow path designated by monosexuals.
You are very contem ptuous o f your friend for
what must have been an excruciating decision for
her to make. Your hostility toward her new love
is a sad reality o f what we are facing when we dare
to use that B word. Being a lesbian doesn’t make
one a better woman; being honest is much more
rewarding. And if people like you w eren’t so
adamant about putting bisexuals dow n, there
would be more o f us who could publicly accept
our own identities.
The loathing that dots your editorial is unaccept­
able and is an insult to bisexuals. Your intolerance is
also dangerous, because it furthers our isolation.
Miriam Congo
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