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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 7, 1997)
j u s t o u t ▼ f s b r u a r y 7, 1 9 9 7 ▼ 17 local news Man of the world t’s been more than 11 years since Kelly Chronister’s handsome face graced the cover of Newsweek. I The in te rn atio n ally d istrib u te d newsmagazine’s feature story for the week of Jan. 13, 1986, was entitled “Growing UpGay: The Society’s Dilemma. One Family’s Crisis.” Given the piece’s heavy-handed bent, it’s not surprising the then mustached 26-year-old sported a serious-bordering-on-somber look. To enhance the dramatic effect, a plain back drop enveloped the young man, who grasped a small framed photograph of the Chronister Fam ily circa 1967: mom, dad, sister and brother, in all of their Middle American splendor. ‘T hat’s what [Newsweek] was looking for—a gay male in his mid-20s who was in an intimate relationship and also had an ongoing relationship with his parents. They also wanted someone who was from a mid-sized city, not a big urban envi ronment like New York or San Francisco,” ex plains Chronister, now 37. Authors Michaei Reese and Pamela Abramson would go on to tell the saga of Paul and Joan Chronister’s struggle to deal with their son’s homosexuality—even four years after Kelly shared the truth with them. In 1997’s United States, the story seems unre markable, even cliché: an “all-American” family live in “tidy ranch house,” in this case in Vancouver, Wash., though it could be your neigh borhood, too. Conservative Dad wants his boy to be “tough as hell.” “If we could just get him to be a little bit meaner he could go as far as he wanted to go,” Paul Chronister would say of Kelly. Son experiences “the best little boy in the world” syndrome, excelling in sports and at school. Yet, says Newsweek, “Despite his achieve ments, he had long felt himself an outsider, sepa rate from his peers.” Son goes to college and has first sexual rela tionship with a man. He is, of course, scared, happy and confused. He rides his bike a lot. He moves from his dorm into his own apart ment. With much trepidation he orders a “gay guide" but still can’t bring himself to go to a bar. Through with college, he moves home. Eventually he goes to a gay bar and finds it isn’t the hell hole he feared it would be. Relieved, he happily declares to himself: “They’re just average Joes!... Guys just like me.” Mom, meanwhile, senses something is awry and goes through son’s stuff. She finds a book called Young Gay and Proud and freaks. “ ‘He’s queer! He’s queer!’ [Joan Chronister] screamed, running hysterically into the arms of her husband,” says Newsweek. Dad struggles internally. Mom finds a Par ents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays chapter. Mom eventually corr.es around, but Dad never fully warms up to the concept. A seemingly simple act a decade ago made Kelly Chronister an international role model T by Inga Sorensen D avid Gray was just 23 when he saw that issue of Newsweek. good looks, athletic prowess and an all-American demeanor. He lived with his handsome lover, Randy Ponce, in a fashionable brownstone in a “It was incredible to see a positive role gay enclave of northwestern Portland. .. After model. Up until then, gay people had always been reading that article in 1986,1 decided that maybe depicted aseither victims or sinister beings. Things being gay wasn’t so bad after all.” were different in 1986,” he says. He adds, “I often wonder what became of That was the year of the U.S. Supreme Court’s Kelly Chronister and Randy Ponce...I certainly infamous Bowers vs. Hardwick decision. Ronald hope that they made it and that they are living Reagan was president. together happily somewhere. Perhaps someone “And I was a college student struggling with knows what ever became of them?” being gay,” says Gray, who has since moved from Such letters are the Golden State to Port fam iliar to Kelly land. C hronister. Indeed, This past November, after the Newsweek Gray, who has an ac story hit the stands (as counting degree but is well as a similar feature pondering a career in in the local newspaper a architecture, was dig few weeks earlier) mis ging through some old sives poured in from belongings when he across the globe— stumbled upon his old China, Japan, Israel, Newsweek. seemingly everywhere. It was a Sunday af Some letters sharply ternoon. Seeing berated the Chronisters, Chronister looking out while others applauded at him after all these their struggle for toler years unleashed in Gray ance and willingness to a torrent of emotions, share their story. Kelly not to mention a few heard from countless questions. gay youth worldwide Gray sat down and who shared their often wrote Just Out a letter: painful stories of lone “[When the issue liness and fear. Finally was published] I was in there was someone they my early 20s and living could identify with—or in a California suburb,” more im portantly, he writes. “I was experi- someone who refused encing inner turmoil Chronister to hide any longer. over my homosexuality Kelly and his Mom. Joan “The enormity of the and was terrified of the response did not surprise me,” says Chronister, gay lifestyle and all that it entailed.... Gay men “nor did the different reactions.” were usually portrayed as pathetic, lonely crea A decade-plus later, the Chronisters still re tures who lived in a boozy and drug-induced ceive correspondence spawned by that report. world of obsessive sex. Gay men were portrayed ‘The trickle, however, grows weaker every as all being HIV-infected monsters who died year,” he says. horrible and early deaths from AIDS. “However, after reading this Newsweek ar uch has changed in 11 years. Ponce, who ticle about Kelly Chronister, I came away with the appeared with Chronister in Newsweek, feeling that a person could be gay and yet also lead is no longer alive. a relatively normal and happy life,” Gray contin “Randy had a smile that wouldn’t quit,” re ues. “Kelly Chronister was everything that I counts Chronister. “He had a marvelous sense of wanted to be, and his story blew away all of my humor. He was bright, intelligent and articulate.” misconceptions about gays.... Kelly had preppy M PEACE O F M IN D W ITH M c^M iniblind’ M A R K H U C K IN S Founder FREE MEASURING FREE INSTALLATION $50 OFF On purchase over $500 T Portland Now Has Two Great Places to Buy ? Expires 2/28/97 NEW LOCATION! 1504 NE Broadway Mt® Miniblind (C o rn e r o f 15th & B ro a d w a y ) 4 60-9474 f FREE MEASURING • FREE INSTALLATION Lake Oswego • West Linn • Clackamas Co. •Tualatin oday Chronister shares a life and West Linn home with his partner of nearly five years. Jay Moore, 27, as well as their dog, cats, turtles, chameleon and "huge plants.” “Jay’s a talented artist with the greenest thumb you’ve ever seen,” Chronister says proudly. Though Chronister says neither he nor Moore, who grew up in a small town near Salem, typically frequented bars, that’s where they ultimately met one hot June afternoon. Chronister, who at the time was living in Vancouver with his mother while he searched for an apartment, had been at Sauvie Island. Driving back toward Portland he heard on the radio about a traffic jam. Rather than get trapped in traffic, he chose to stop at a Stark Street bar for a drink. “It was four in the afternoon. The Trail Blazers were playing on television,” he says. It was all rather uneventful when Moore walked in and “flashed that smile.” The two wound up talking until I am. That was in 1992. These days the two tend to their home and animals. To pay the bills, Moore works at a plant maintenance company while Chronister puts in 12-hour days as a legal assistant, a job he “just kind of fell into.” Chronister’s mother and father, meanwhile, are separated. Joan Chronister remains supportive of her son and is active in PFLAG. Kelly’s relationship with his father, however, is strained, though not for reasons relating to homosexuality. Chronister says he’s never had any regrets about his decision to appear in Newsweek. (The magazine found him and his family via the ever- bubbling PFLAG network.) “I think it made a difference,” he says. Thousands, perhaps millions, would agree. Says David Gray: “I just want to thank [ Kelly Chronister] for his courage.” 1 ^ 1 Ì TtM IEHOlM Not valid with any other offer • Pleated Shades • Silhouettes • Duettes • Wood Blinds • Vignettes • Verticals Portland • Beaverton Washington Co. During their early years, the couple worked together at a mom-and-pop video store in Lake Grove. And while Newsweek said the couple lived in a brownstone in Northwest Portland, they actually resided in an apartment at 21st and Northeast Halsey near Lloyd Center. “I don’t think there even is a brownstone in Portland—that’s New York,” Chronistcrchuckles. The two were together as a couple from 1982 until 1987. However, up until Ponce’s death from AIDS complications on Dec. 6, 1989, Chronister remained his close companion and caretaker. “Randy died in my arms, in my bedroom,” says Chronister. "The day the Newsweek article came out was the day that Randy was diagnosed. At that point he was like the 20th or 30th person in Oregon to be diagnosed with AIDS. They gave him six montiis to live, but he was a fighter.” Gresham • Happy Vancouver • Clark Cty Volley (206)256-6622 Multnomah Co. Salem • Marion Co (503)292-6464 (503)636-6588 (503)667-0354 (503)363-7993 i We Buy Sell Downtown Portland 1 1011 SW W ashington] Taferilscf (M ekka B u ild in g ) I 274-7164 ! We Trade 2-for-1 U se d C D s We Pay $4 Cash ■ on Used CDs! $ 5 .9 9 -$ 8 .9 9 for Most Used CDs ! Limit one coupon per person £ rr day.