Ju st out ▼
1, IMS
BACK TO SCHOOL
Lesson for today
A Rhode Island teacher learns that his community
supports him—as an out gay man
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back into real estate.
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by Bob Roehr
Everyone he saw that night would know that their
arty Perry’s story is the stuff of
son’s or daughter’s teacher was gay.
sm all-tow n civic pride that
Perry was understandably a little nervous. He
Norman Rockwell would have
had decided that “this was not the place to talk
painted. He is Teacher of the Year,
about it with parents, that we needed to talk about
helping kids learn to read. He
educational
lives in a place called Middletown,
R.I., near issues.” If they wanted to talk with him
about his being gay, he would set up another
where he grew up. A wave of brown hair hangs just
appointment outside of school hours.
a bit towards huge blue eyes and an easy smile, as
The first parents walked in. But before he could
the 43-year-old sits with his loving spouse (of 12
utter a word, ‘The father grabbed my hand and
years) on the deck they built themselves. The ’90s
started shaking it and said: ‘Mr. Perry, before we
touch is that the couple is gay.
start this, I just want you to know how much my wife
Perry works with learning disabled children in
and I support you. We saw the article in the paper
kindergarten through second grade, teaching them
and we have absolutely no problem with it. We are
how to read. “It’s wonderful,” he says. “I can’t
so glad that you are working with our son.’ ”
imagine doing anything else that I would like
A lone mother was next, blue-collar directness
more.”
ringing through her voice: “I just want you to
He was always a little worried about being out
know, my daughter loves you, I love you. If they
on the job, “So much so that in the teacher’s room,
try to can you, they’re gonna have to put up with all
even though virtually all my colleagues knew I was
l ^ m y shit.”
gay, it was one of those
^
And so it went through
issues that w asn’t d is
» th e night and following
cussed.”
days. There was not one
When his colleagues
l negative comment to Perry,
chose him Teacher of the
his principal or his school
Year for Middletown in
superintendent. There was
1994, and again in 1995,
instead a tremendous out
however, he didn’t hide the
pouring of letters and phone
fact in filling out the paper
calls in support.
work for the state competi
“I know there are par
tion.
ents who don’t approve,”
“I had been interviewed
he said. “But they didn’t
by my stale [National Edu
verbalize it to me or to my
cation Association] news
principal.” It is even more
paper, and all I could talk
amazing when you stop to
about was rights for gay
think that people are much
and lesbian students.” For
more likely to complain
the essay question he chose
about something than to
to write about gay and les
praise it.
bian youth suicide and how
Fulghum has encour
schools need to address the
aged Perry’s more active profile. He is a four-year
problems surrounding those issues. He also listed
veteran of the Air Force who “got really pissed”
his membership on the board of directors of the
over the fight on gay men and lesbians in the
Rhode Island Alliance for Lesbian and Gay Civil
military. The struggle over the state sexual-minor
Rights.
ity-rights bill was heating up at the same time, and
But he grappled with one “innocuous question”
so they joined the state Alliance to work for its
on the application: the line for family. “I struggled
passage.
with that for two weeks,” recalls Perry, “and fi
“Julie Pell [daughter of Rhode Island’s senior
nally I listed Bob Fulghum as my partner.”
“When I put the application in the mail I was
U.S. senator] came out publicly. She didn’t need to
totally honest. I kissed the letter and said, ‘We kiss
come out, she had nothing to gain from it personally.
But she is like her father, she is just committed to
this good-bye,’ because we were spelling it all out
doing the right thing,” said Perry. “That inspired me.
for them. I figured they were either going to love it
If she could do it, we needed to get involved, too.”
or hate it; that was their choice. I was not unhappy
He was set to testify on the bill in 1994 but
with what I had done, that was the point.”
backed out, literally at the last minute, on the
“I was never called in for an interview or
advice of his union lawyer. The attorney thought
notified that I was a finalist,” he said. So it came as
he would be able to get him reinstated if Perry were
a complete surprise one day last March when the
fired, but it would mean a five-year legal struggle
commissioner of education, a bevy of state and
with no job, no paycheck.
local officials, his parents, his partner Bob, and a
flock of news media descended on his classroom.
He had let people down. The decision not to
“They just showed up while I was teaching, to
testify gnawed at Penry’s guts for the next year. So,
present me with the honor. It was a hoot.”
when the bill came up in 1995, the choice was easy.
“What were they going to do? If they fire me, great,
All of this was small potatoes compared to what
here is why we need the bill. If they don’t fire me,
happened when Perry testified at the Statehouse in
it is newsworthy testimony from a credible source.”
May. He spoke in favor of the bill that would
The reaction from Middletown was more than
extend civil rights protections to lesbians and gay
he could have dared to dream. He had always
men.
believed that people here were basically good, fair
“I can legally be fired tomorrow for testifying
before you tonight,” he told the legislators. “That’s
minded, “but I have always been afraid to know the
truth. You think, well maybe those good things can
not right. We only ask that you judge us on our
happen, but not in my town, not where I live. I was
merits, not on our orientation.”
just shocked.”
“Gay educator fights for rights,” and a large
color photo of Perry were splashed across the front
And so, Marty Perry has come to learn what is
perhaps the key lesson for lesbians and gay men:
page of The Newport Daily News the next day. The
paper hit Middletown homes just a few hours
The biggest obstacle to full acceptance is often fear
before the start of parent-teacher conferences.
itself.
M
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