ju s t o u t
letters
Weary owners respond
To the Editor:
We have just finished reading Karen Denman’s
letter to the editor [Just Out, March 3,1995]. This
will be the first time that we have ever made a
response, in editorial form, to a letter or article in
your paper. We answer now only because we are
reluctant to pass up the opportunity to respond to
the concerns expressed in this letter.
Over our 10 years in business at this establish
ment, we have endeavored to maintain a high level
of service and quality, which is increasingly over
shadowed by community politics (“subculture”).
We grow weary of dealing with people who insist
on being addressed with a politically correct form,
as it seems to change frequently. We grow weary
of telling the clientele of the tavern next door that
our parking lot is for our customers. We grow
weary of the customer who thinks we are a coffee
shop where you can linger for hours over two cups
of coffee, drink endless glasses of water, and leave
a 50-cent tip. We grow weary of the people who
eternally try to beat the pricing system by splitting
dinners or just an extra plate and we’ll share, but
don’t forget the silverware, bread, butter and linen.
We grow weary of the people who reserve a table
for six and it turns out only a few are eating. We
grow weary of keeping silent and not “whining”
about the fact that the majority of the people who
fit into this category are of the female gender. We
are not women-haters, merely business persons
who welcome the opportunity to rebut.
Is this a sexual-preference problem or just a
simple business problem, which should not be put
into the minorities arena? We try to run a quality
establishment, however, if our business is not
profitable, we will not be here for anyone.
In response:
• Our prices are posted.
• We have many women, females, girls, etc.,
whom we count as valuable customers.
• We sold out once, we got it back.
• The picket truck for the OCA is outside with
regularity.
• Religion is not applicable to this situation.
• As business persons, we deal with “construc
tive criticism” on an ongoing basis.
We acknowledge that we are here to fit a
particular market need and welcome the opportu
nity to do so, but sexual orientation is not the sole
criteria for business decisions.
Perhaps you should tell your college students
that they will only be treated as well as they are
able to adapt to their environment. We have obvi
ously pleased more people than we have offended,
and you cannot please all of the people all of the
time.
If you are not a whiner, we would question why
you did not try to communicate this problem with
us, rather than airing your objections in the public
arena. Well, Karen Denman, co-owner and opera
tor of the Whispering Pines Bed and Breakfast/
Retreat and college instructor, you just flunked
Communications 101.
Telesforo “Archie” Archuleta, President
Carl L. Smith, Vice-President
Starky’s Inc.
Treat people as friends
To the Editor:
This is in regard to the letter from Karen
Denman, co-owner and operator of Whispering
Pines Bed and Breakfast/Retreat, Rogue River,
Ore.
You say that you chose to dine out on a Satur
day evening when you selected Starky’s Restau
rant. When you arrived, you stated that you were
“greeted by a person, male of the species, who
referred to us as 'girls’ (and it was not used as a
term of endearment).” The two owners (Archie
and Carl)— by whom I have had the pleasure to be
served many times in the past—both have a ten
dency to greet patrons in this matter (females as
“girls,” males as “boys”), and I have never heard
anyone voice a complaint in reference to the
practice, because anyone with a sense of commu
nity realizes that this is just a social greeting and
not a statement of a person’s stature or age.
You say you spoke right up “as usual” to bash
him for having the audacity to refer to a superhu
man of your stature as a girl. Why, may I ask, do
you consider it condescending for him to ask you
what you would like to be called?
If your friend had done a little more homework
along with her research, she probably would have
found that this is not only a pattern of this particu
lar restaurant but of the gay and lesbian commu
nity in general. Boys are boys and girls are girls,
regardless the number of wrinkles or rolls. Port
land is Portland; it is not New York, and, thank
god, it’s not L.A. We treat people (newcomers as
well as our old acquaintances) as friends and use
familiar terms of “endearment” toward one an
other, not as statements of disrespect. If the “boys”
at Starky ’ s practiced blatant disrespect toward any
of their customers, their restaurant would be empty
on Saturday evenings, however, this is simply not
the case. People go to Starky’s because it has a
friendly, cozy atmosphere with good food and
good service, with hosts and employees who like
the people who dine there.
The following is my list of solutions:
• Stick to the private homes and traditional
potlucks. You can prune and nurture your friends
into the perfect people you want them to be.
• Wear a badge that states that you are woman,
and give others the chance to inflict terms of
endearment upon those who are far more deserv
ing.
• Call ahead and instruct owners and operators
of establishments that you plan to patronize in the
way you see proper for them to address you and
your party before you arrive so there will be no
misunderstandings.
• Pray that the Portland community who would
have been likely to visit Whispering Pines didn’t
read your letter and reconsider their vacation loca
tions in the future based on not wanting to offend
your eminence.
I have already called the restaurant to let them
know that I realize this encounter was a situation
of misinterpretation and not an expression of dis
dain toward women, girls, lesbians and drag queens.
I have also called nearly every lesbian I know to
query them on their individual experiences at
Starky’s. The consensus: You need to get out more
often!
Gary Foster Smyth
Portland
In defense of
Susan Stnltenberg
To the Editor:
As the volunteer HIV educator for the Yamhill
County Public Health Department, Cascade AIDS
Project has been a valuable resource.
Last fall I was scheduled to take political
action committee training in Salem, but the dates
conflicted with the State HIV Conference so CAP
made an exception; I took PAC training in Port
land. CAP wrote culturally correct letters to the
Hispanic community in Yamhill County inviting
them to become involved in HIV education. CAP
came out to Linfield College to teach peer educa
tion to Linfield students. CAP’S speakers bureau
is furnishing an HIV youth speaker on a continu
ing basis for a class I teach at MidValley Regional
Youth Detention Center in Salem.
I have also had problems in reaching Hispan-
ics, as CAP has. We are doing the best we can.
I thank all the staff at CAP under the helm of
Susan Stoltenberg, they have been a great asset to
me.
Norm Costa
McMinnville
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