i
ju st o ut ▼ d o csin bo r 1®. 1994 ▼ 19
*
WINTER READING FOR MEN
How
to
Be
a
Homo
A new manual provides pointers and handy checklists that
help you discover if you ’re doing it right
44
w
by Bob Roehr
hy do some boys turn out Califomiaactor/singer/dancer/model/waiter/beach
straight and others grow up bunnies, you would be wrong. For, in addition to
with an innate ability to throw being beach bunnies, the pair are also Washington
dinner parties?” The Unoffi­ lawyers.
Lawyer = Humor. That’s not exactly the first
cial Gay Manual poses but
doesn’t quite answer that question. What it does equation that comes to most people’s minds, but it
offer is a whimsical yet practical guide to Living works.
For DiLallo, “You really know when a subcul­
the Lifestyle (Or at Least Appearing To).
It was bom on the beach—Laguna Beach, ture has evolved when they can laugh at them­
Calif., to be exact. Kevin DiLallo and Jack selves.” The pair feels the time is right for gay men
to do just that.
Krumholtz looked at the scene,
Coming out is first up,
then at each other, and thought:
including Ten Things Not
It’s exactly the same as on the
to Say WhenTelling Your
East Coast. There really is a
Mother, (No. 1: “It really
common culture.
doesn’t
hurt that much.”)
“One of us said, somebody
They offer a Guide to
should write a book about
7
the
Flora and Fauna of the
that,” said DiLallo.
Gay World, (Biker: “so­
“I’m pretty sure it was me,”
prano
voice
forced
to
tenor.”
A-Lister: “calluses
inteijected Krumholtz, his partner of 11 years.
“We are probably going to argue about that the rest from social climbing.”)
And they deconstruct the language of personals
of our lives. But I’m positive it was Kevin who
ads. “Professional: Has a job. Versatile: Is a bot­
said, ‘Why don’t we do it.’ ”
So in the “Hey kids, let’s put on a show!” spirit tom. Straight acting: Don’t call him at work."
In one section they conduct an anthropological
of Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney, they whipped
dig
through a man’s gym bag, in another they
out paper and began outlining the book amongst
identify key decorative motifs for each room of the
the pumped studmuffins of Laguna Beach.
house.
But if you think this is the product of two
Coming out is first up,
including Ten Things Not
to Say When Telling Your
Mother, (No. 1: “It really
doesn hurt that much. ”)
“How can you tell he’s
the one?” queries a check­
list. “Kissing in an eleva­
tor,” said Krumholtz. “I al­
ways equate that moment or
that experience with sort of
how 1 really knew I wasn’t
going down the wrong path
with Kevin.”
“For me it’s finding ex­
cuses to call at all hours.
When we moved away from
each other [to go to law
school in separate cities] we
called four, five, six times a
day,” said DiLallo. They still
call each other several times
a day at work even though
they live together.
Someone just coming
out will appreciate the very
practical, down-to-earth,
How to Break Up With
first sections of the guide—
16 CDs
but perhaps not catch all of
A PSYCHO KILLER
[very Gay Man Should Own
the humor. The more jaded
among us will recognize the
stereotypes and smile at the
digs. All can enjoy the cor­
nucopia of gay lists, trivia,
organizations and places to
10 Things Not to Say
HIGH HAIR, LOW MORALS,
shop or party that are laced
When Telling
and Other
throughout the book.
YOUR MOTHER
"We tried to make it
Rules of Thiit)
something that people at
A
different stages would ap­
preciate because, my god,
I’ve been out forever,”
DiLallo effused.
Krumholtz had never formally talked with his me,” he said.
His parents were great about it.
parents about being gay, even though they had
“I told you so,” muttered DiLallo, half under
often met his lover over the years he and DiLallo
his
breath.
have spent together. “The book forced the issue for
KEVIN DILALLO
Fiction
Black Glass, by Stuart Edelson. Dimi Press,
1993; $19.95. A sailor, serving on a merchant
shipdelivering supplies during the Vietnam War,
falls in love with another sailor.
Nightswimmer, by Joseph Olshan. Simon
and Schuster, 1994; $20. A man haunted by the
memory of his first lover, who apparently drowned
10 years before, is captivated by a new man who
arouses memories of the presumed dead lover. A
story about the almost haunting pain of lost love.
User, by Bruce Benderson. Dutton, 1994;
$19.95. An all-too realistic venture into the un­
derworld of drugs and hustling. A heroin addict,
who has nearly killed a pom theater bouncer,
knows his days are numbered—and so does ev­
eryone else in this world of addiction, prostitu­
tion and street machismo.
Winter Birds, by Jim Grimsley. Algonquin
Books, 1994; $18.95. This first book in a some­
what autobiographical trilogy is set in North
Carolina and covers the early years in the life of
a young hemophiliac. His alcoholic father is
abusive in every way possible. His life, impover­
ished.
Home for the Day, by Anderson Ferrell.
Knopf, 1994; $20. A man from the rural South
returns, with his deceased lover’s remains, to the
home from which he escaped years before. He
secretly inters the remains in the place most
forbidden to him. A year later he must return to
that place. Helpless to do otherwise, he must
reveal his secret deed. A sweet, gentle novel.
Barrel Fever, by David Sedaris. Little Brown,
1994; $ 19.95. A collection of stories by National
Public Radio’s house-cleaning commentator. A
look at ordinary lives that is touching and yet
cutting. Several gay-related stories.
Living Upstairs, by Joseph Hansen. Plume,
JACK KRUMHOLTZ
Press, 1994; $25. An extraordinary collection of
writings by authors ranging from Plato to Warhol.
Sources include sonnets by Michelangelo and a
Playboy interview with David Bowie. An inter­
esting blend of novels, biographies and histories.
Biography
John Maynard Keynes, by Jeffrey Escoffier.
Chelsea House, 1994; $9.95. The story of the
famous English economist, this book is part of a
series for young adults entitled “Lives of Gay
Men and Lesbians.”
Modern Nature, by Derek Jarman. Over­
look, 1994; $24.95. The final book in Jarman’s
autobiographical trilogy. This volume chronicles
the filmmaker’s battle with AIDS and his at­
tempts to reconcile art, family and friends with
this battle. He reminisces about his childhood, his
coming out, and his work in films.
Dharma Lion, by Michael Schumacher. St.
Martin’s Press, 1994; $18.95. A biography of
Allen Ginsberg, the Beat Generation poet who
seems to have participated in every popular move­
ment since the end of World War II.
AIDS
1994; $9.95. A coming-of-age story set in 1940s
Hollywood. The struggles of a young gay man
working to make a living while writing his first
novel and trying to make sense of his love for a
Texan with too many secrets. Danger and betrayal
await him.
A Queer Reader, 2500 Years of Male Ho­
mosexuality, edited by Patrick Higgins. New
AIDS and the Arrows of Pestilence, by
CharlcsClark. Fulcrum Publishing, 1994; $23.95.
Clark’s premise is that AIDS is but the most
recent of humanity’s plagues, and—like the oth­
ers—it exists because cultural trends provided the
opportunity for it to establish and grow. To halt
this disease governments must address the issues
of medical care, welfare, drug legalization, and
discrimination, among others.
Compiled by Kristine Chatwood