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Rill Irtw
it was common knowledge that there were
camps more terrible than Dachau. These were
death camps, (Totenlager), as opposed to
Dachau, which was a work camp (Arbeiten-
lager). At least at Dachau, he thought he would
have some kind of a chance. In a Totenlager,
he believed, he would have none.
Nevertheless, the humiliations were terrible.
No gay had a name. Instead, he was given a
number and when called, was forced to answer
to “Queer 4962,” for example. In the barracks
where the Pink Triangles were, no one was
allowed to sleep with his hands under the cover,
not even in the coldest weather. The Nazis
thought that if gays were allowed to do that,
they would masturbate which, it was believed,
only gays did. “Masturbation,” Hans said,
“was said to be a sign of the homosexual
disease.”
If you were caught trying to keep your
hands warm, the punishment was immediate
and hideous. The guards seized one man and
forced him to stand naked in the snow while
buckets of cold water were thrown over him.
In another case, a man was hung up by his
wrists while his testicles were dipped alter
nately into ice water and hot water. His
screams echoed throughout the camp. Another
time, a man was hung by his testicles and
beaten. He was left to hang there until he died.
The Nazis, Hans said, thought all gays were
sex-crazed, that if gays in the barracks and
outside in the camp were not watched con
stantly, there would be orgies. But, there were
none. “You lose all desire under such priva
tions as existed.” There was love, however.
Many gays paired off. In fact, Hans thought
that most did, seeking comfort and some little
human dignity in a loving look, a quiet, stolen
smile.
These pairs never survived very long,
having the highest mortality rate. They could
not hide what they meant to each other and
always there was someone, a Capo, a prisoner,
to inform.
Capos, Hans explained, were camp inmates
placed over others by the SS. They got good
food— “Do you know how easily you would
sell yourself for food?” he asked, holding up a
brown, crusty roll.
He nodded, acknowledging, I suppose, my
ignorance as he turned the bread slowly in his
gnarled hands, looking at it as if, in that loaf,
were all the demons that haunted him. Then he
put it back on the plate.
Capos who were in charge of Pink Triangles
were always straight, not like Gunter and others
who had little dolls, but homophobic straights
who were, if that were possible, he said, worse
than the SS themselves. In the end, a Capo was
always killed. The SS never trusted anyone
very long.
The guards took special delight in finding
out about lovers from the Capos. Then they
could torture and rape one while the other
watched and kill them both before each other’s
eyes. Some broke, Hans said. One lover would
denounce the other or even participate in his
torment out of promises for an easier life.
These promises were never kept.
However, most did not yield. “You see,”
Hans said, in words I will never forget, “even in
Dachau, even in Germany in those years, it was
possible to choose right. I did not. Many did. I
can never forget them.”
I asked him if he ever prayed. He said, “No,
not a least in any formal way.” His family had
been religious, but he had early given it up.
Besides, he did not think praying would do any
good.
And your family? “I have never seen them
again,” he replied. Afterward, he did not want
to find them.
Sometime toward noon, Hans had to leave,
to keep an appointment. I asked him if he
would be at the bar that evening. He said he
would not, that he rarely went and that last
night had been an exception. However, if I
wanted, he would give me an address where I
could write to him if I wished. Then, as if
fleeing, he left.
In Chapter 3, the search fo r the reality o f
the Pink Triangle begins. Hans, I knew even
then, had told only a sm all part o f the story.
There was so much more I had to fin d out about
the holocaust o f the gays.
5111 NE Fremont
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Ladd's Editions Presents:
Minnie Bruce Pratt
Reading from her
award-winning book
“Crime Against
Nature"
(Firebrand Books).
LADD’/
EOITIOn/
BOOK/TORE
----
V
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V
MON-SRT 11 -7
SUN 12-5
Followed by discussion
on censorship and its
effects on gay/lesbian
writing.
Ladd's Editions
Monday, August 13 th
7:30pm
$3 admission
V
1864 S6 HAWTHORNE ßlVD.
Copyright 1988 by Novo Graphics, Ltd. A ll
rights are reserved. Reproduction in any form
is prohibited without prior written perm ission.
PORTLAND, OR 97214
(503) 2364628
10% of proceeds go to
Lesbian Community Project
just out V 13 V August 1990