DO W N EY
IN SURA N C E
AGENCY.
Windfire responds to questions
of Campfire Teens______
INC.
What should you tell a friend who
thinks he might be gay or bi?
BY
W I N D F I R E
n February three Windfire members gave
two presentations on stereotyping at the
Campfire Teens in Action “Surviving the
Nineties” conference. At the end of each
workshop we asked the participants to write
down any questions they had about gays and
lesbians, which we answered as time
permitted. We thought the questions were
good enough to share with others. The
questions were written by sixth through
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twelfth graders, and were edited only for
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going to be dealing with gay and lesbian
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Do you get irritated because they call you
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gay
or lesbian?
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I get irritated because they call me
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Do you fall into "roles" such as dominant
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and submissive?
Some do, some don’t. It depends on the
individual personalities. But looking at our
families, it seems to us that this is a universal
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trait, not a gay trait.
What should you tell a friend who thinks
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he might be gay or bi?
Tell him or her they are OK and that you
accept them for who they are. Mean it. Help
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them find some support and information.
Assure them that they don’t have to make a
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permanent decision at this point and support
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them in their process.
Did you make a conscious decision to
become gay or lesbian? Why do gays always
say, "Ifound out I was gay," like you were
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born gay? I don’t understand that.
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Coming out the process of realizing you
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are gay, lesbian, or bisexual, is a process of
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self-discovery, not decision. The choice^we
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have is whether or not to accept ourselves for
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who we are.
How much of the bigotry directed at gays
is due to the bigots' deep and
unacknowledged fears of being gay
themselves?
We wonder about this too. It has been
proven that most anger stems from fear or
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pain.
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How can you tell if someone if gay or
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How does a gay/lesbian person
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Do you think you are gay because you did
not
fit in heterosexuality?
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No. Do you think you are straight because
you did not fit in homosexuality? Being gay
is not a default position.
What do you do if you're with a group of
friends and they are talking about gays/
lesbians and insulting them?
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Sometimes some of us feel afraid of
people’s reactions and don’t do anything.
Others of us have had good reactions treating
anti-gay remarks just like racist, sexist or
otherwise offensive remarks.
Don't you ever want to have your own
children?
Being gay or lesbian doesn’t mean that
you can’t have children.
Aren’t you scared of AIDS?
Aren’t you? AIDS doesn’t discriminate on
the basis of sexual orientation. Risky
behavior is risky behavior, homosexual or
heterosexual.
How do you feel when a person of the
opposite sex comes up and flirts? How would
you tell that person you're gay?
If a nice person of either sex flirts with me,
I’m honored. If a gross person flirts with me.
I’m insulted. As for telling them, if we decide
it is any of their business we just tell them
straight out.
Have you tried the other sex? Because
you're gay does that mean you won't have sex
with members of the opposite sex?
Some of us have had sex with members of
the opposite sex. Some of us have not. Some
of us haven’t had sex with anyone. There is
much more to being gay than who you have
sex with. Most of us would not have sex with
members of the opposite sex, but some of us
might in certain circumstances, such as to
have children. One of my older friends, a gay
man, looked back on a sexual experience he
had with both a man and a woman as one of
the best in his life.
Is it true that lesbians don’t wear bras and
don’t shave their armpits? Because I’ve seen
some that do and some that don’t.
Well, I don’t ’cause I don’t have enough of
a chest to make it work spending $15 to $30
per bra and I don’t shave ’cause I figure if my
cousin in Germany doesn’t have to, why
should I? But it has nothing to do with my
being a lesbian. But some of us do and some
of us don’t.
How did your parents take you being gay?
My mom practically beat the **** out of
me and my girlfriend. She’s the one that told
me. Many of our parents refused to believe
us. Some of our parents took it badly, others
took it well and are very supportive.
Do your straight friends know you are
gay?
Some of us are out to some of our straight
friends, some of us are out to all of them,
some of us aren’t out to any of them. In
general, our close friends have been
accepting. Some of us refuse to have friends
who aren’t accepting.
When you first discovered you were gay/
lesbian, were you scared?
Yes, suddenly we had to adapt to a
lifestyle we know nothing about and had been
told all our lives was wrong.
Did you have any fears about God's .
punishment? Are homosexuals religious ?
Some of us have had fears about God’s
punishment, but not necessarily because we
are gay. For others of us this is not an issue at
all. Like all people, some gays and lesbians
are religious, others are not. In many tribal
traditions, gays and lesbians were regarded as
having special religious powers.
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