Qs, Rs and gays like me
Qs say they dominate gay politics because the Rs
are too closeted to do anything; the Rs stay home and
mutter about a Q-ish liberal conspiracy
BY
ALLEN
SMALLI NG
cgardless of how one feels about the
message of After the Ball: How America
Will Conquer Its Fear and Hatred o f Gays in
the 90s by Marshall Kirk and Hunter Madsen
— which has harsh words for both straights
and gays — the authors have introduced a
useful new way for us gay men to identify
ourselves. In the future, it wouldn’t surprise
me if we find ourselves asking each other the
introductory question: “Are you a Q or an
R?”
Kirk and Madsen never really define what
the abbreviations “Q ” and “R” stand for, but
from the way they use those two letters it’s
easy enough to guess “R” could mean
“regular” or “respectable” and “Q” — well...
Perhaps it’s best to take a look at these two
groups in action.
Qs are the gayest gays, including the most
flamboyant gays. (Though not all Qs are
necessarily flamboyant.) Rs are the regular
guys, including the worst closet cases.
(Though not all Rs are necessarily closeted.)
In The Boys in the Band, Donald is an R and
Emory, who couldn’t hide it even if he wanted
to, is a Q.
There are probably several times more Rs
than Qs in America. However, the Qs are
more noticeable because they are much more
visible as gays. The leather-and-feather
contingent in your local gay pride parade is
made up of Qs. The Rs either watch from the
sidelines or stay at home.
The desire to live in the gay ghetto or “be
at the center of things” is very Q. Suburbia is
very R. The opera is a hotbed of unrecon­
structed Q-dom. Rs watch NFL events on
television.
Qs tend to be involved in politics, while Rs
tend to be silent-majority types. Qs say they
dominate gay politics because the Rs are too
closeted to do anything. The Rs stay at home
and mutter about a Q-ish liberal conspiracy.
Certain statements are Q and R giveaways.
When you hear a straight-faced reference to
the “gay sensibility,” or hear buzzwords like
“politically correct,” you’re in the presence of
ADOLF HITLER
*
a Q. The classic R statement is, “I ’m just like
other men except that I prefer to [expletive]
men.”
Contemporary literature has more Qs than
Rs, probably because the high anxiety of life
as an American Q leads to more compelling
drama. In Dancer from the Dance, lead
character Anthony Malone is a Q. There are a
few Rs in other books, though. Kirk and
Madsen identify The Best Little Boy in the
World as the quintessential R story. The hero
of Gore Vidal’s The City and the Pillar is R
and has some of their worst hangups — he
hates nelly gays and is happy to “pass” for
straight when it gets him what he wants.
Cities tend to have either Q or R person­
alities, at least for gays. Obviously the New
York of Dancer from the Dance is Q. San
Francisco is Q, too, but in a more lighthearted
way. In Chicago, where the personal ads are
filled with demands for “straight acting/
appearing,” the tone is much more R. Los
Angeles, with its laid back air and pockets of
beach-blanket narcissism, at first seems very
Q. But since the straights are that way, too,
perhaps it’s R in context.
Rs can be pretty silly. No one but an R
could be 38 years old, not having dated a
woman since the Nixon administration, yet be
afraid to come out to his parents because “it
would devastate them.” But Qs have their
distinctive follies too. Gay newspapers
prominently feature Q columnists who, with
their “to the barricades” political radicalism,
seem to have confused themselves with
Spartacus or John Brown.
I can find things to admire in both Qs and
Rs, and things to be ashamed of too. I’m not
even sure if I myself am a Q or an R. But one
thing I do know — and I ’m sure Kirk and
Madsen will agree with me — is that we’d all
better learn to get together and show America
what we can do when united.
Gay revolution succeeding
Allen Smalling keeps an eye on the gay
community from his home in Chicago. His
book reviews and observations appear in
newspapers nationwide.
Gay liberation got nowhere until gay men and
lesbians moved out of the mainstream
BY MI CHAEL A. LOMBARDI . P h D.
PAUL J. N A S H ________
___________ a n d
T
HOW A M E R I C A WILL
C O N Q U E R ITS F E A R
& H A T R E D OF CAYS
IN T H E 9 0 s
______
1 ime Magazine reporters recently asked
“Is the Gay Revolution a Flop?”, respond­
ing to a new book. After the Ball: How
America will Conquer Its Fear and Hatred o f
Gays in the 90s by Marshall Kirk and Hunter
Madsen.
The authors think so. They recommend
that gays, to make strides in society, blend in
with the "mainstream.” Why any gay person
would want to join the “mainstream” with all
its inherent pressures to stay in line, not to
rock the boat, is beyond us. What do they
want? A nation of zombies?
It is better to ask, is the “mainstream” a
flop? We think so, because gay rights got
nowhere until gay men and lesbians moved
out of the stagnant mainstream (read closet)
and into the turbulence of the stream itself.
The gay revolution flowed along well
before the Stonewall Rebellion in 1969, which
only gave the movement much needed
impetus. Gay scholar and openly gay lawyer
Karl Heinrich Ulrichs (1825-1895), whose
birthday gay people celebrate August 28,
began this open revolution in the 1860s. He
publicly (for the first time) urged gay people
to stand up for their inalienable rights and to
work for reform of oppressive, muddy laws.
He was the first to come out of the closet and
call for others to follow his lead. The task
was no easier, or more difficult, for him in
1860s Germany than it is for us today.
His was one lonely voice, a trickle in the
stream as it were. Because he dared to speak
and write about homosexuality, others were
emboldened to enter the river of dialogue that
has continued its rush to the present. Today,
you can hear hundreds of thousands o f gay
voices. Beginning with Ulrichs, they look at
their roots and realize homosexuality always
exists everywhere. They are pushing the
revolution onward. It would be a mistake to
silence or even lower those voices until the
revolution is truly over and gay men and
lesbians can live in peace.
No, the revolution is not a “flop.” People
read in Ulrichs’ books that homosexuality is
no crime, sin or shame, nor a physical or
psychological ailment. His news was that gay
people are not sick heterosexuals — a
revolutionary thought a century ago. And
since he first wrote that, the revolution has
proceeded, gaining strength each year as more
and more gay men and women reach that
same conclusion. The battles Ulrichs began
will continue until there are no more closets,
until the river rims freely for all gay people.
For more information concerning Karl
Heinrich Ulrichs, write to Urania
Manuscripts, 6858 Arthur Court,
Jacksonville, FL 32211.
jm M o m V
17 ▼ September 19M