Protect yourself; protect your partner
Increasingly lesbians and gays are creating their own
families; here are some practical tips on how to create
and protect the ties that bind
sharing living arrangements or joining together
in real or personal property ownership.
Domestic agreements can be very simple or
s the lesbian and gay lifestyle matures,
very complex. They can provide that everything
and as we change our behaviors and
attitudes to protect ourselves from, and support is supposed to be shared and shared alike or that
the separate property of the parties is not to be
our friends with, AIDS, lesbians and gays are
treated as jointly owned or they can provide
increasingly creating their own "alternative”
some combination of both. The terms of a living
tamilies. The families created may be small
together agreement will depend on what your
(just you and your lover) or may include a more
intentions and plans are. But having a formal
agreement can minimize disagreements and
make them easier to resolve, when they do
arise. Also, the process of stating your
intentions and commitments in writing can also
help to bring you closer to your domestic
associates.
extended group of people on whom to rely for
Domestic agreements can also be helpful in
assistance and support in running the gantlet of
fending off unwarranted interference from
life. Some of our families are strong, stable and
biological relatives. If the intentions of a
durable; others form and re-form over the years.
competent adult are formalized in an agreement,
But the human need to be connected to others,
the gay couple is in a stronger position to ward
to have people to rely on, and to be needed by
off intrusions of hostile or greedy relatives. A
someone continue to draw us together.
domestic agreement does not take the place of a
More of us live our lives more openly than
will, however.
ever before, and more openly together, as well.
Another way to really cement a relationship
Increasingly, we have openly gay and lesbian
is through adult adoption. That is, one lover can
attorneys to help us protect our newly forming
legally adopt the other. Such adult adoptions are
families. There are probably a dozen “ out” or
legal in Oregon, but raise interesting questions
mostly “ out” lawyers in the Portland area who
of violation of criminal incest laws. Careful
help gay and lesbian families arrange their
thought and counsel from an attorney familiar
affairs.
with adult adoption should be obtained.
Domestic agreements; adoption
Wills, living wills
omestic or "living together” agreements
BY
BRADLEY
J.
WOODWORTH
A
D
are most often drawn up between lovers
who wish to live together. However, they may
also be used by a larger group of people who are
I
f you die without a will, your property will
— not might — but will go to your surviving
blood relatives. If your wish is to pass your
property, whether great or small, valuable or
sentimental, to your lover or to those who have
served as your gay family through the years,
you must prepare a will. A handwritten will is
not legal in Oregon. If your only will is hand
written, then your property will still go to your
surviving blood relatives. Simple wills are not
expensive, and are well worth doing. Any of the
gay community lawyers can help you prepare a
suitable will. Please consult them to make sure
your property will go where you want when you
die. This cannot be left to chance or to informal
or verbal agreements. A blood relative can
come in and upset any such informal agree
ments and will almost always win over an
unprotected gay partner.
A "living will” is not really a will. It is a
formal legal statement that you do not want your
life to be artificially prolonged when you are
terminally ill. It must be signed before you are
incapacitated, and must be in a particular form.
Your gay community lawyer can draft a living
will for you.
ignorant family member will swoop into the
sickroom and oust your loved ones from your
side.
Joint property; survivorship
ne of the ways you can protect your
partner and assure that he or she will get
your property upon your death, is to own that
property jointly, with right of “ survivorship” .
Joint ownership with survivorship can be done
with real property, bank accounts, money market
funds, stocks and bonds, and other forms of
tangible personal property. Also, joint owner
ship with survivor rights can also reduce the costs
of probate and almost eliminate property con
tests from greedy blood relatives. There are
dangers with joint ownership, also, so you may
be well advised to talk with a lawyer before
entering into joint ownership of real or personal
property.
Finally, protection and certainty can also be
accomplished by designating your lover or gay
family member as the beneficiary of insurance
policies you may own. Such property also pas
Powers o f attorney; appointments
ses outside of probate.
As you can see, there are a number of legal
situation may arise when your lover or
tools that can be used to define, protect and
gay family member is very ill, perhaps
incapacitated and unable to make her/his own empower a gay relationship or gay family
arrangement. Do not hesitate to use these tools
decisions. In such a case, the doctors and
to make your life more stable, predictable and
hospitals will usually follow the wishes of the
solid. But get good legal advice as you do so.
biological next of kin. If disagreements arise
between the ill person’s lover or gay family and
Bradley J. Woodworth is an attorney in private
his biological family, the courts will usually
practice, and maintains his office in the Oregon
side with the blood relatives. You could be shut
Trail Building, downtown Portlarul.
•
out of visiting, from receiving medical informa
tion, and from participating in the decisions that
need to be made. Fortunately, if you plan
ahead, you canprevent this nightmare. The tool
Obituary policy
your gay community lawyer can prepare for you
Just Out publishes obituaries as a community
is a "durable power of attorney,” a document
service. In many cases, we depend on relatives
that you sign appointing your lover or gay
and/or
friends of the deceased to notify us of the
family member to make such decisions for you,
death and provide us with information. Mail to
if you are incapacitated. These documents are
Obituaries Editor, Just Out , PO Box 15117,
relatively simple and inexpensive. They are
well worth it if there is any chance an evil or
Portland, OR 97215.
O
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