Ju st out
Steppin’ Out
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1 O f
I IT!
fusi o u i » 2 » N ovrm hrr 1‘ÍKX
C O N T E N T S
P
A
G
E
T
W
O
Coming out is a two-way street
If you know someone well enough to ask if they are gay , remember that
you must create safety for them to respond openly
B Y
E L A I N E
R Y D E R
he Portland Community College Alliance
of Lesbians and Gays and their Friends
urges everybody to demonstrate their support
for lesbians and gays. Most heterosexuals, or
"straight” people, are open-minded and
oppose discrimination based on sexual orienta
tion. Many, however, do not know how to show
this support.
The first problem, of course, is that it’s hard
to tell if a person is lesbian, gay or bisexual;
sexual orientation doesn’t show. You can help
your friends of different sexual orientations by
letting your own feelings be known.
Wear a pink triangle. The pink triangle was
the symbol assigned to homosexuals when they
were exterminated in Nazi Germany. It has
been adopted by contemporary lesbians and
gays to identify ourselves to each other as a
reminder that our persecution is historic and that
we will overcome.
Real fears have pushed gay and lesbian
people into the closet. Most of us have friends
who have lost their jobs, their children, their
professional reputation, their families, or even
their lives because it was known or rumored that
they were gay. Our lives are risky to different
degrees, depending upon our circumstances.
Each one of us has draw n lines about where and
when it is safe to be "out .” Please respect this.
There are a number of things you can do to
make the world safer for gay and lesbian people:
T
• Speak up when you hear homophobic
(anti-gay) jokes. Many people use "humor" to
test their audience's reaction, to find support for
their ideas. All you need to say when you hear a
bigoted joke against anyone is “ I don’t find
that funny."
• Notice if yiHj have a friend who consis
tently omits pronouns when speaking of some
one who has obvious importance in his or her
life You can be support ive by not assuming that
his or her lover is of the opposite sex Parrot the
I w in d e r
if he’s
non-use of pronouns. You'll demonstrate that
you're paying attention and that there is a possi
bility you can be trusted with more personal
information.
• Write a letter to the editor of your paper in
response to community news and advertise
ments that affect lesbians and gays. Express
your opinion.
• Be supportive if you think a friend's
children or parents may be gay.
• March in the annual Lesbian and Gay
Pride Day march held toward the end of June in
downtown Portland.
Acceptance, sense ot humor, willingness to
listen and learn are qualities you can use to
demonstrate your concern. If you know some
one well enough to ask if they are gay,
remember that you must create safety for them
to respond openly. Speak in private and don’t
push the question if your friend feels uncom
fortable. Don t push him or her into lying to you
to protect a job or career, or to prevent ostra
cism. harassment or potential threats to
ph'sical safety.
(«nid
be
&U e
Once a gay person is out to you, consider
asking questions about what it’s like to live in a
homophobic world. What is homophobia? Why
is life different if you’re gay? What does your
family think?
I met a man on a beach a month or so ago. He
made a comment about the "freaks" in San
Francisco. I pressed him, asked if he meant gay
people. When he said “ yes," I responded
simply: " I think that prejudice will be very
unpopular in 20 years or so.”
We are at a turning point in history. We look
forward to the time when our grandchildren —
yes, gay people have children and grandchildren
— will look at us in amazement when we tell of
the anti-gay world and will ask. "Did people
really think that way?”
Thanks for helping to make the world better
for all of us.
*
Elaine Ryder is secretary o f the Alliance of
Lesbians and Gays and their Friends at
Portland Community College.