Howie Baggadonutz: politically gay ‘ 7 don ' t know what compels me. Except that 1 always fear there won't be enough people helping out! ’ B Y A N N D E E H O C H M A N here he is. Howie Raggadonutz in his producer’s hat. hopping up onstage at the Northwest Service Center to deliver a swift, snappy introduction to comics Tom Ammiano and Karen Ripley. Click. Howie as an organizer o f media for the Quilt’s tour in Portland, toting one end o f the Names Project banner down Rroadway in the Lesbian and Gay Pride march. Click. Howie in his managerial hat. at his desk r at the Echo Theatre, finishing up a few calls and filing some ¡xipers on a Friday afternoon. Click. There are other hats in the wardrobe — occasional KROO public affairs commentator, creator of postcards and offbeat earrings, graphic designer— and Howie juggles them all with the greatest of ease This juggling act comes complete with running commentary, a New Jersey twang that bends his speech and a rollicking laugh that cracks it wide open. He even looks the juggler's part — thin, wiry, with large eyes and a cap o f carbon-dark hair, dressed irreverently in a T-shirt with sketches of insects and a pair of bright red high tops When it's time for a picture, most people sit; Howie jumps around on the sidewalk, tries to scale the brick wall outside the Echo. Howie Raggadonutz wearing the perpetual hat o f high energy. Rehind all this buzz is some kind of unclut tered conviction. A juggling act looks wild and fantastic and daring, but the juggler at its center has sharp eyes and a clear purpose; just keep things flying. Keep the balls in the air — visible, interesting, full o f momentum. And whatever you do. don't stop. “ When I was going to school in the '70s, when I was in college. 11 majored in | mass communications, and my focus was television and film. Now it’s theater and radio. So that makes no sense. I don't know how it happened. I went to Rutgers in New Jersey, and I couldn't stand that it was in the heart of the ghetto, and I had to get out I knew I had to do my junior year exchange somewhere, in Europe or the United States I couldn* t do four years in New Jersey. “ The University of Oregon was my first pick, and I got to go there. It was too easy for me. compared to Rutgers, as far as the studies went. St> I started saying. ‘Well, if that’s too easy. I might as well chalk this up and just do other things ' I did art history and I did theater that year I did scenery, more behind-the-scenes stuff than I'd usually done, anyway. And I started getting more activist-y. "The University of Oregon in 1978 is when I came out completely, and there was no going back. Part of my hidden agenda in getting accepted [for the exchange] was, ‘Let’s deal • with this. This will be a good space to deal with it.’ The year I was there, I fell in love, and I came out radically. I was planting the seeds of change. I was a total mouth that whole year. ‘ ’Later I burned out on activism and laid low. I came back to Eugene for a year [after graduat ing from Rutgers in 1980], broke up with my lover, couldn’t go anywhere artistically in Eugene, came to Portland in 1981 and have been here ever since. “ In 1985 I started to get active again. I’d heard the gay shows on KBOO and they were incredibly inept No one listened to them. So we recruited a lesbian co-host and did Queersville. That kind of snowballed into other things. We got a name for ourselves, started doing a little stand-up [comedy] here and there. Kind of got into the gay entertainment network . . . and put it all together. * ‘ I don't feel unfocused because all the things I do are creative. The Echo job is paying bills, a little more management-oriented, drier. There’s also some creative aspects to it. So when I do the other things, it’s all creative, whether it’s making earrings or designing stuff or producing — which is more dry. too, a more dollars-and- cents thing. But the end result is all creative. So my focus — if I had to focus— is to put stuff out there that wouldn't normally be out there if I didn't do it. “ In Portland, I’m totally out. And I always have been. Right before we started Queersville in early 1986, as we were prepping for it, I came out of the downtown ‘psycho’ Safeway and Shirley Hancock was there with a microphone asking people what we thought of Reagan’s embargo against Iran. This was late 1985,1 guess. So I was [filmed] full-face, with my • name underneath, and I said some anti- Republican rhetoric. I got home, and I got threats. Life threats: ‘You fuckin' faggot. . . We’re gonna kill you . .. you fuckin' asshole.’ I was in the phone book. So I decided then that we couldn’t use our real names on the radio, because I was in the book. "We created pseudonyms, which was fun, because we were still out, visibly, and we didn't feel like we were compromising — too much. And now people don’t know my real last name anymore; it’s kind of faded away. And I don't use my real last name, because Bierbaum is funny, but Baggadonutz is funnier. Now I have lines when I do routines Like: Is Baggadonutz your real name?’ And I go: ‘No. it was Baggamatzoh, but I Anglicized it.' Stuff like that. “ When I was going to Rutgers, there were 250 people in lecture hall for. you know, Psych 101 And they’d pass around a sheet for atten SANDRA K. PINCHES, Ph.D. .C\W * ih <><>.\.\v. Johnson,S ir. 7 Cortland, ( )i< <>72< H) ( > 0 1 ) 2 2 7 7 “>~>8 ,cVv dance. You don’t know the teacher; the teacher doesn’t know you. So people would write any thing— ’Joe Packageofweemes,’ ‘Joe Baggadonutz.’ There'd be tons of fake names. And I just cracked up on Baggadonutz.’ I even use it now when I’m doing media for the Names Project. I sign, ‘Howie Baggadonutz.’ I figure, at least they’ll remember me. “ Everything I try to do. I hope has some effect. But theater is seen once, and then it’s a forgotten image. So print and radio are probably the most effective ways to communi cate. Especially radio What I liked about Queersville was that it went 50 miles. It went all over the place. It went to the coast; it was on cable TV on the channels that weren’t broad casting. So some closeted guy or girl — um, some closeted man or woman — who couldn’t feel comfortable picking up a Just Out could go home, go in the bedroom, close the door, put on a headset and listen to Queersville. That was a really good thing to know. And I know we reached kids — young kids — because we got letters. “ People still remember my voice from the radio, and it’s been a year since the show’s been off the air. People will call [Echo Theatre] and go. “ Didn't you used to do Queersville?’ and I'll say. ‘My God, how do you know the voice? I guess it’s this distinctive New Jersey voice. In Portland, it’s distinctive, anyway. “ What I like doing the most right now is theater, especially producing stuff. It’s scary, 'cause your money's on the line, and I get really furious because the gay men in this town are so| out of it when it comes to entertainment. They'll see drag and they'll see the Gay Men’s Chorus. They won’t take a chance on anything else. “ In June when I hosted the gay radio show on KBOO — co-hosted with Linda Shirley — and we were babbling about community events, I said. ‘Coming up tomorrow night is the Gay Men’s Chorus and the Seattle Men’s Chorus singing the movies, featuring a tribute to Judy (Garland] and Marilyn [Monroe].' and then I paused and said. I’m glad they're not into perpetuating stereotypes.’ I just feel like: that’ll sell out, and I can bring Tom Ammiano, Karen Ripley — really different, out-of-town, quality gay acts — and I ’ ve got to scrape to break even. And sometimes I don’t break even. “ So I get frustrated. I feel like; ‘Who’s out there? Who’s paying attention to what we’re doing? Why are we doing this?’ All these identity crises when you do business with the gay community. "I want to see a wide variety of expression in the gay community, artistically. And I don’t see Portland supporting that. So it’s kind of frustrating. But commitment keeps me going, and hoping the next one will be better. And I really want to do it; I really get a kick out of producing. When it’s successful, it’s the best. “ I hate to sit home at night; I always want to do something. Even go out and have a drink. I don’t like to sit home in front of the TV. And I read late at night to fall asleep. So there’s that time between 7 and 11 pm, when I hate sitting home. I just hate sitting around wasting time. That’s the bottom line. I just want to keep doing. So there are always these projects that pop up. “ On political levels I’m totally confident; I’m a Taurus and I’m stubborn. We had a fight — not a fight, a discussion — at a Names Project meeting in June on how to divvy up the funds. I was saying, *1 want the four non-profit agencies that give direct services to people with AIDS — I want them each to get 25 percent.’ I thought it was a really good symbolic gesture: you’ve all done good work; you all deserve equal amounts. The group went for the 25- percent plan, finally. So politically, I’m right out there. I can be an ideologue. “ But I’m definitely insecure in terms of, um . . . personally and socially. I definitely have the insecurities everyone else does. Definitely being Jewish in Oregon is an element of it. It’s a novelty. And I hear people say anti-Semitic things in front of me. I can’t believe it. And I just think: ‘Give me a fuckin’ break — do I look WASPy?’ I hear off-the-cuff anti-Semitic things all the time. It’s just like being homo- phobic — people saying things in front of you, assuming you’re straight. On a personal level. I’m insecure in a lot of ways. I definitely have all the vulnerabilities when it comes down to meeting men or socializing. “ And my mouth is sometimes a benefit and sometimes a liability, because . . . I can talk a lot. “ I don’t know what compels me. Except that I always fear there won’t be enough people helping out. I guess the sense that gay people have been shafted so much, that when there’s an opportunity to make a name for ourselves, like the Names Project, I don’t want to let it slip by. I'm almost more attached to being part of the gay community than I am to being part of the Jewish community, even though I feel really strongly about being Jewish. The gayness is my focus. So when a good project comes along, I don't want to let it slip through my fingers or let Portland miss it. I have a real sense of community, of the Portland community, for better or for worse.” • BRADLEY J. WOODWORTH ATTORNEY AT LAW OREGON TRAIL BUILDING PENTHOUSE 333 S.W. FIFTH AVENUE PORTLAND, OREGON 97204 (503) 273-9146 Fret Initial Consultation S p e c ia liz in g in i s s u e s of: • Recov ering Alcoholics • Codejx'ndency tust out • 10 • Auvuvl I* 1*** Lesbian & gay couples Intimacy & commitment SER\ INC» I HE LEGAL NEEDS OF OUR COMMUNITY IN THE FOLLOWING AREAS: ACCIDENTS & INJURIES (NO RECOVERY. NO FEE) • CRIMINAL LAW & DUII • DIVORCE AND CUSTODY • WILLS & ESTATES • BUSINESS LAW AND LITIGATION • REAL ESTATE • LITIGATION IN ALLSTATE AND FEDERAL COURTS