Fighting for nonviolence
“
We have a commitment to continue building the quilt as long as the epidemic continues.
My greatest personal goal is to be here when we sew in the last panel''
— Cleve Jones
various menial jobs until he landed a position
selling Time-Life books.
iolence has dogged Cleve Jones, 33, all
“ I’m embarrassed to say that I excelled at
his life. Because he wasn’t macho
this job.” Jones said, "and made ridiculous
enough as a kid, other boys beat him up at amounts of money.’ ’
school. Because he is a spokesman for the gay It was there that he met Marvin Feldman —
community, thugs tracked him down and stabbed his best friend until Feldman’s death from
him on the street. And today, because he is
AIDS in 1986.
Jones and Feldman were close buddies for 14
antibody positive, he waits for a time-bomb in
years. and the Time-Life job allowed them to
his body that could explode in a final assault.
travel the world for the first few of those years.
In spite of that, Jones — a political organizer
When they came back to San Francisco, the
and founder of the Names Project — isn’t
political atmosphere had changed. The Castro
giving up. A man who abhors violence and
attends Quaker meetings, he’s doing what he’s
District had attracted men from all over the
always done; fighting to make the world a safer
country who were openly gay and strong
enough to make their political might felt.
place.
Harvey Milk — San Francisco’s first openly
Jones was bom in West Lafayette, Ind., the
gay city supervisor— was beginning his politi­
child of liberal parents who were still in graduate
cal career. Jones was ready for it.
school. As a child, he moved around until his
“ I come from a political family," Jones said.
parents completed their education and found
"My
parents are liberal Democrats who were
jobs as university professors.
very active in the peace movement. I did a lot of
For Jones, a self-professed sissy, it was
work with farm workers while I was still in high
doubly hard being the new kid on the block,
walking into classes with children scrutinizing
school.”
him — only to find him not up to snuff.
With his background in political activism,
“ In one sense, I had a privileged childhood
Jones was the perfect person to help Milk or­
in that I come from a white, middle-class family
ganize street demonstrations for his campaign.
with all of the privileges and benefits of the
He also helped the gay community defeat the
American middle-class,” Jones said. "Good
state ballot initiative that would have prohibited
schools, good neighborhoods. . . .
homosexuals from teaching in California
schools.
" But I was an unhappy child,’ ’ he continued.
"I was subjected to a lot of bad treatment from
When Milk was murdered in 1978 by Dan
the kids. I was beaten up many times in the
White — a fellow supervisor and an ex-cop —
locker room and called names."
Jones coordinated a candlelight march. And
Jones didn’t know at the time that he was the
when White was let off on a plea of temporary
insanity from eating too many Twinkies, Jones
stereotypical image of a gay male — effemi­
led the march that turned into a riot.
nate. soft-spoken, nonviolent — radically
different from his childhood peers.
"People were hospitalized, 14 police cars
"I always knew I was different, but I didn’t
were destroyed. City Hall was trashed — the
know quite what it was,” Jones explained. "I
windows and metal grillwork completely
thought maybe I was from another planet.
broken," Jones said. "Civic Center Plaza was
filled with burning police cars."
"But other people kept calling me queer and
fag. Other people knew it before I did."
Although Jones was not to blame for the
To ease the pain. Jojies turned to his father’s
anger of the gay community at blatant injustice,
library of psychology books for information and
he took the rap for much of the violence. That
verdict puzzled Jones, who felt his life had been
solace.
dedicated to nonviolence.
"First, I went to my father's dusty old
Freudian textbooks." Jones laughed. There, he
“ I thank God no one was killed, but I can’t
say that I feel sorry that it happened," Jones
found devastating information on homosexu­
said.
ality, “ usually in the same chapter with genital
"It’s one of those little contradictions in my
deformities and child murderers."
life. I abhor violence but when I think about that
But Jones also discovered other, more
night, I have to confess to a certain sense of
modem books whose authors offered him
satisfaction.”
answers to the riddle of his life.
During the next few years. Jones was able to
"There were works in the library by Jean
put his political savvy to work in state politics.
Genet. Saul Bellow and back issues of Partisan
Hired as a legislative aid by Leo McCarthy —
Review. As I began to read these, I learned that
then speaker of the California State Assembly
there was a homosexual subculture — which
was very important, because I didn't know that — Jones was the first openly gay person to hold
such a visible and influential position
there were others."
"Harvey had been killed but it was clear that
In the world beyond his father’s musty
we had survived his murder." Jones said, "and
library, gay liberation was becoming more
that our political power here in San Francisco
vocal, spawning a revolution that would be
was intact."
heard all over the country.
For the first time Jones was happy with his
"Word of the Stonewall rebellion gradually
life. He was living in an environment that ac­
trickled into Arizona. And a gay liberation
cepted his sexuality — and his pacifism — and
movement was bom in the Arizona desert —
he was using his administrative and political
GLAD," Jones joked in a voice filled with
talents to work for gay rights on a statewide
irony. "Glad to be gay in God’s desert."
level.
Upon graduation from high school. Jones
Then AIDS struck. Dr Marcus Conant. a
joined the group and told his parents he was gay.
doctor at the University of California Medical
In spite of their staunch liberalism, his parents
Center and one of the founders of the San Fran­
weren't pleased.
cisco
AIDS Foundation, warned Jones about a
* ‘They were surprised and frightened.’ ’ Jones
new virus that was sexually transmitted. The
said.
doctor
predicted the fatal disease would be the
Although he’d planned to go to college.
scourge
of the gay community.
Jones changed his plans and headed for San
By the end of 1985. the threat wasn't just a
Francisco — a mecca for eccentrics of every
theory
— it was a harsh reality: Jones’s best
stripe.
’ ‘ I ended up hitchhiking to San Francisco and friend Feldman was diagnosed with AIDS.
With the threat so close. Jones organized a
was pretty much on the street for the first couple
memorial
during the annual candlelight march
of months." Jones recalled. He worked at
BY
DELL
R I C H A R D S
V
for Milk and dedicated it to the first I ,(XX) San
Franciscans who had died from AIDS.
“ I knew a great many of those people."
Jones said. “ I asked everyone to bring a piece
of cardboard with the name of someone they
knew who had died of AIDS on it.”
The march ended at the Federal Building —
where ladders had been stashed under trees.
Marchers scaled the walls and covered the
building with placards bearing names.
"Taped to the gray stone building, it was a
very startling image," Jones said. "And as I
watched the hundreds of people who stood there
for hours on a cold, damp night looking at the
names, I realized that we needed a memorial.
As I looked at it. I saw a giant quilt."
Jones had become a fixture of the gay
political scene. and as one of the founders of the
AIDS Foundation he was known as a
knowledgeable spokesperson on the AIDS
epidemic. After being on the 60 Minutes
program "Life and Death in San Francisco.'' he
began to receive death threats on the phone.
On May 29. 1986. two men were waiting for
him outside his apartment. As he walked down
the street they called him "fag" and shouted
Local gay and lesbian
community assistance needed
for Names Project quilt tour.
Portland to be last stop on
national circuit.
T
that there were "too many queers around "
Jones quickened his pace to get away, but he
wasn't fast enough. He heard a slight noise and
as he turned around, one of the men brought a
knife down on him.
Jones still bears a scar an inch wide where the
knife severed the shoulder muscle and came
within an eighth of an inch of a major artery. It
was just another skirmish for him in a lifelong
battle with people whocan’t accept him as he is.
“ The beginning of my political awareness
was that of fear, of knowing that I was going to
be confronted with physical violence because of
the way I was." Jones stated
"When I walk down the street and see men
walking toward me. my first reaction is fear."
During the six months he spent recovering,
Jones thought about violence, about AIDS and
the rising death toll. When Feldman died, he
knew he wanted to make a quilt for the people
who had been struck down by AIDS.
“ When Marvin died. I began to despair,”
Jones said. "After he died, I came to believe
that I — and almost everyone I cared for— was
going to be killed by this disease."
And it was clear to Jones that his own personal
struggle wasn't unique, that it was shared by
thousands of gay men and lesbians across the
country. Jones and two friends began making
panels, and the Names Project was bom.
"We have a commitment to continue build­
ing the quilt as long as the epidemic continues,"
he said. "My greatest personal goal is to be here
when we sew in the last panel.”
“ I’m optimistic for the long term,” Jones
affirmed. "I believe that a cure will be found
eventually and that there is hope for those of us
who are still healthy now. I believe that the
ideals and aspirations of the gay and lesbian
community will continue to move forward."
For the short term, he's sad and pessimistic.
" I ’m one of the millions of Americans who
have already been exposed to this disease, and
I'm terrified." he said. "I think that my chances
of survival are tied directly to the level of fed­
eral funding for research — and that makes me
very frightened.”
Jones has learned to live with a constant fear
of death and physical violence; he's not letting it
stop him. To combat fear, he's dedicated his life
to making sure that those who have died from the
insidious form of violence called AIDS will not
be forgotten.
•
"The Quilt began in the hearts and minds of
the lesbian and gay community, yet embraces
all people with AIDS and those affected by the
epidemic. As we spread the Quilt in city after
city, so we continue to spread the message of
compassion and love for people with AIDS, and
we look once again within our own community
nationwide for support and assistance in this
immense undertaking."
he Names Project, the national memorial
to the tens of thousands of Americans lost
to AIDS, has confirmed the schedule for its
national tour beginning this spring. Arrival and
departure dates are firm, and specific display
If you would like to join the local team of
dates and times are being arranged by the indi­
Names Project volunteers in your area, write to
vidual host committees in each city.
PO Box 14573, San Francisco. Calif. 94114.
"We are bringing the Quilt to 20 of the
sending your name, address and telephone
largest American cities beginning in April."
number, and you will be provided with specific
said Cleve Jones, executive director of the
information on whom to contact in your city.
Names Project. "The country needs a
mechanism for generating money and support
Please register your support and commitment
for people with AIDS and their loved ones."
by being one of the hundreds of volunteers that
Funds raised from the national tour will stay in
it will take in each of these cities to successfully
reach out to all America with this poignant
the communities in which the Quilt is displayed
visual symbol of the epidemic that continues to
to support local organizations providing direct
services to people with AIDS and others facing take its toll on our immediate and global
communities.
•
the epidemic.
Just Out •
15 • March I988