Flower power
by B illy Russo
I com e from that old macho school that
says the best defense is a good offense. Be
sides addition, subtraction, and some very
basic reading and writing skills, that's all I
learned at that school.
Mot long after I came out in the workplace
a group of us were washing tables in the
dining hall and one of the women I work with
— she was shop steward at the time — placed
a flower in my hair. We all wear hairnets, so
actually she placed it under my net. She also
placed a flower under her own hairnet. Some
of the other women did likewise. We rarely
Roseburg
Report
have live flowers in the dining room. A vete
ran’s group had provided them.
An hour later we were working in the dish-
room when a supervisor happened by. Mind
you, there were half a dozen people in the
dishroom with flowers in their hair. Granted, I
was the only male thus adorned, but I wasn’t
the only person. Anyway, the supervisor made
a beeline for me: “ Take that flower out of your
hair," she said.
I batted my eyes at her a couple of times
and said, “ Mo." She turned and walked briskly
away. One point that the Civil Service Act is
very clear on is my right to challenge any
order given that is not clearly outlined in my
job description.
About an hour later, when the head cook
cam e on duty, the supervisor returned with
him in tow. He looked at me for a minute,
cleared his throat and restated her order. I
restated m y response. He looked at me for a
minute, looked at the supervisor, shrugged
his shoulders, turned, and walked away. She
followed him after giving me a bewildered
look.
Shortly therafter, they both returned with a
shop steward. It was the same woman who
put the flower in my hair in the first place. She
inform ed me that if I didn't take the flower out
o f my hair that we would have to go to per
sonnel to address the issue. She was visibly
nervous.
The first thing that stuck out in my mind
was that she had placed the flower in my hair
in the first place, next was the obvious fact
that she was still wearing the flower she had
placed in her own hair, and lastly, four or five
other w om en were also wearing flowers.
But, being the cooperative type, I removed
the flower from my hair and with exaggerated
m otions inserted it in my mouth, stem first. I
d id n ’t swallow it.
For the rest of my shift — about an hour —
anytime one of them glanced at me I opened
m y m outh wide to show the flower.
One would think that that would be the end
of it, but let me assure you that that is not the
way the federal government works. The next
day when I got to work there was a notice on
the bulletin board next to our mailboxes —
even a dishwasher has its own mailbox in the
federal workplace. The notice read: “ The
wearing of live flowers under the hairnet is
strictly forbidden. Live flowers attract live
bugs." It went on to explain that artificial flow
ers were acceptable.
That was too m uch for me to resist. The
following day I showed up with a big. black
rubber cockroach under my hairnet. The
supervisor who had first told me to remove
the flower took one look at it, started to say
som ething, thought better o f it. then
marched right into the head cook's office.
The head cook came over and took a good
look at it. shook his head and walked away.
The mailboxes that I mentioned earlier are
the pigeonhole variety. There are about sixty
of them. They are assigned alphabetically, so
m ine is in the middle about two-thirds of the
way down, just about eye level. Besides a
copy o f my job description and a copy of the
master agreement between labor and m an
agement. I also keep my trophies in there:
trophies from battles I had won with manage
ment. When no one challenged my rubber
bug, I retired it to my mailbox to accompany
the bottle of nailpolish and the beaded hairnet
that made up my permanent trophy collec
tion. The rubber bug nicely complemented
the collection. I noticed that the next time one
of the supervisera stuffed the latest memo,
directive, or whatever, into my box, it sprang
right out and onto the floor.
A few days went by before I tested manage
ment's newest rule again. This time I showed
up with a little stuffed bear under my net It was
really neat Everytime I turned my head guickly
it changed positions under the net. It also dis
played a little button which said. "I like older
men."
When management ignored me again, I
eventually removed it and placed it in my mail
box. I positioned it so that it was looking out,
waving, and displaying the button.
The next day I was called into the head
cook’s office for a counseling. A counseling is
the first documented step on the road to an
adverse action. Adverse actions are tacky, and
I usually try to avoid them. The head cook then
• inform ed me that I could not keep the stuffed
animal in my mailbox. He explained that I
could, however, keep it downstairs in my
locker, out in m y car, or anywhere I choose
outside the workplace.
I let him say everything he had to say about
the stuffed animal in the workplace. I started at
him in passive silence for a m om ent or two
and asked: "What about the rubber bug and
the beaded hairnet? Do they have to go, too?"
A half hour later I walked out of his office
over to the mailboxes. It was obvious to me
that the half dozen or so food service workers
still on the floor were curious as to how I made
out. I made eye contact with the one furthest
away from me and holding the stuffed animal
high above my head. I spoke in a loud, clear
voice: "I lost on the stuffed animal, it has to go.
But I won on the rubber bug and the beaded
hairnet."
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2nd A N N U A L
WOMEN Æ WOODS
A "Gay & G rey" W orkshop
sponsored by Phoenix Rising
A tw o -p a rt w o rksh o p for older lesbians and gay men
approaching 50 years & beyond
This w o rksh o p is designed for n e tw o rk in g around
the shared and unique concerns, joys, problem s and
expectations of our aging process
Led b y :
A rt W ilcox, M A
O a te s & T im e :
Thursday, M ay 23rd, 7-10 pm
& Thursday, M ay 30, 7-10 pm
a t B R EIT EN B U SH H O T SPRIN GS
A u g u st 9 th , 10th & 11th, 1985
Three-day weekend retreat for lesbian women
held at historic Breitenbush Hot Springs Resort,
located adjacent to M t Jefferson |60 miles east of
Salem. Oregon) Come and enjoy the natural
setting, therapeutic hot springs, pools, steam
sauna, hiking trails, rustic cabins, old mountain
lodge, ovo-lactic vegetarian meals (included) and
powerful energy of women together
Just Out Mav 1985
C ontact Phoenix Rising for registration
and fu rth e r in fo rm a tio n at
223 8299.
Time available for healing workshops, play,
relaxation, music your choice Sliding fee scale
from S65 to S125 (set your own fee) Register
early, space limned Send $25 deposit (refundable
until June I ) to PHOENIX RISING FOUNDATION
408 S\X/ 2nd. RO O M 407. PORTLAND. OR 97204
(503) 223^8299 Carpooling available from
Portland or Salem
17