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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (April 1, 1985)
r V. Family snapshots b y B illy Russo W hen I brought half a dozen snapshots to w ork du ring the sum m er o f 1983,1 really put m y cow orkers to the test They were pictures o f m e taken during a gay dance at the Vete rans M em orial Building in Roseburg. It was m y first public appearance as Princess Cirius, Crown Princess Royale of the Roseburg C ourt The first person I showed them to was my supervisor, a sixty year old B aptist O f course, she d id n 't recognize me in drag, and you should have seen the look on her face when I told her I was one of the two people in the top photo. It was obvious that I wasn’t the man in the white tuxedo. W hen I first came out in the workplace during November. 1980,1 asked her how she The Roseburg Report felt about homosexuality. She thought about it for a m o m en t and said that she imagined that it's no worse than a couple living together ou t o f wedlock. During the next four years, until she retired, she never ceased to amaze m e with her ability to be impartial. She defi nitely did not live up to the Baptist stereotype. It’s im portant to m ention that I am a federal civil servant and as such I am subject to — and protected by — the Civil Service A c t My position is further secured by the fact that I have a very visible attorney who is a member o f the National Lawyers Guild. The NLG did a survey o f homosexuals in the federal w ork place in 1979 andl98 0, and somehow m an agem ent got the idea that NLG is using me to set them up for some sort of incident. I, of course, exploit their paranoia to the max. Seeing pictures of me in drag reminded another food service worker o f the tim e he and his fellow deputies responded to a dis turbance at one of the local bars. (He had spent the ten years prior to joining the kitchen staff as a Douglas County Deputy Sheriff and is m ore experienced in the ways of the world than m any o f m y coworkers.) A ccording to the ex-deputy, the Roseburg C ourt was having a function, and there was an argum ent over one of the titles. The bouncer tried to break up the queens, but he got the worst of it, so he called the police. My cow orker was the senior officer at the scene. He said that this one drag queen insisted that he should have had the title in question, and he demanded that the deputies do something about it. My coworker laughed as he recalled the incident. He wanted to know what I would have done in his place. It was obvious to me; I explained that I’d have used m y authority as law enforcer to title the irate queen thus re solving the issue. When I related this story to King Frances of the Roseburg Court, he was not amused. A m onth o r so earlier I had been chatting with another worker, backing out of the room with m y outstretched hand groping behind me for the door. Unbeknownst to me the ex-deputy was com ing from the opposite direction, had pulled the door open and was strugging through with a large tray of salads. Seeing m y groping hand was too m uch for him, he took a quick step back to avoid my touch, and collided with another kitchen worker. When I turned to face the com m otion it was obvious what had happened. I looked down on this ex-deputy and said, "D on’t worry dear, I only go after the big m acho type.” W ith that I quickly scurried away. There’s a biker-type who has worked here for years. He looked at the pictures for a minute, slapping me on the stom ach and told me that I would look better if I rem em bered to suck in m y tummy. D uring the first two years o f being out at work, everyone was civil to me, but they defi nitely did not want to be reminded of my gay lifestyle. The biker was one of the few who was not threatened by me at all. During the 1982 Christmas season, a dishwasher was having a lot o f trouble dealing with the holi day stress and he was taking his frustration out on me. During one especially unpleasant scene in the mens' locker room, the biker cam e between me and this man in the throes o f hom ophobic helplessness and asked him why he was so interested in my sexuality, then suggested that maybe he should take a closer look at his own. Two or three other men piped in agreem ent I was dum bfounded; although they had never ganged up against me, they had never stood up for me either. It was after this inci dent that I noticed that alm ost everyone in the kitchen seemed more com fortable with the subject o f homosexuality. That's when I started my merciless testing. And the pictures were a part o f that test After all, people often brought in photographs o f their grandkids and what not. I was acting in that spirit — sort of. As news o f m y transvestitism spread through the workplace, m ore and more of m y coworkers wanted to see the pictures. The last person to see them was the shift leader. She is a soft-spoken, gentle person w ho always finds som ething nice to say about everyone. She looked at the snapshots for a m om ent then com m ented on how nice the m an in the tuxedo looked. "Oh, him, I said, “ It was his dress I had on and the dear w ou ld n’t let me out of his s ig h t He was afraid I'd ruin it.” For Information about advertising or copy deadlines, call or write Just Out P.O. Box 15117 Portland, OR 97215 236-1252 (new phone number) Now in Portland . . . Home delivery of the Sunday Correction Just O ut p rin te d an incom plete uersion o f its feature Why Aren't More Gay Men Feminists, in its M arch issue. Just O ut re ceived the com plete version from its author. A u b re y Wertheim. after the paper h a d gone to press. W ith respect to the author, the m issing fo u r paragraphs follow . The m issing p o r tio n s h o u ld have fo llo w e d "m ilita ry service, etc." in c o lu m n fo u r on page 9. C om ing out of the closet profoundly, on all fronts, demands society recognize your con tributions to it with no negation of gay identity acceptable. It’s a simple thing. It's an incalcu lably com plex thing, a choice which poten tially imperils every identity currently on the boards and. like it or not, our womyn's and gay com m unities are rarely established or sophisticated enough to compensate for m ost o f those losses. Two things continually conspire to keep m en closeted; this seduction of straight- identified power in exchange for the frontage of A Real Man (and you have to remember men are only requested to keep their gay lights under a bushel; we do n’t have to bury them . Unlike lesbians, we re afforded any num ber o f certain furtive outlets to release psychosexual tension periodically) and, sec ondly, the understanding that the very qual ities being out embraces — emotional hon esty, com m unal nurturance, sexual self- knowledge and esteem — are hardly the qualities men are measured by in this society. Look at the models of great men set up for our edification and example: all the grand- standing medal-heavy memoirs, profiles and tributes. Knock twice, enter into their private spheres and witness the epic am ounts of em otional illiteracy, romantic retardation and sexual IQs o f disposable lighters. Men, whether straight or gay, are raised to rise to patriarchal power. That power is based on lies and betrayal. Men betraying their gay ness is just another facet of that vast divesti ture o f feelings and hum anity men make as they steel themselves for participation in the lie o f male supremacy, relinquishing vulnera bility, relinquishing creativity, relinquishing, m ost tragically, Life itself as a mission o f con tinual inner enhancement and outer venera tion and discovery. ¿Neto jlork @inte0 Donna Stiles certified nurse- midwife At your door by 9 a.m. Sunday Morning l Name □ □ □ Address. □ Check enclosed, payable to The Sunday Times P.O. Box 11366 Portland 97211 Bill to VISA □ MASTERCARD □ 6 Week Trial Subscription * $ 18.00 3 Months (13 weeks-$2.85/copy) 37.00 (] 6 Months (26 weeks-$2.65/copy) 69.00 125.00 Card Number Exp. Date _ Signature___ For more information, or to order by phone, call 249-8179. ( 503 ) 245-8873 •Total Maternity Care * Home Births or Birth Center Births • Well Woman Gynecology •Family Planning LESBIANS NEED PAP SMEARS TOO! SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY OFFER! 20% OFF ONE OFFICE VISIT OR 2 FOR THE PRICE OF 1 WHEN YOU BRING SOMEONE YOU LOVE Lab fee must be paid in full Call for information Just O ut, April 1985