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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (March 30, 1984)
Jus# Dear Advisor, I have a very “touchy” problem. I hope you can help me. I was raised in a home where stroking, embracing and cuddling were never done. It took a long time before I was able to enjoy touching (sexual and non- sexual) on an intimate level. As a lesbian who enjoys the company of other lesbians, I find acquaintances and yes, even strangers greet ing me and my lover with a hug and kiss, or often stroking me in an affectionate way when we are together at women’s concerts, dances and social events. I realize many times it is just a need for affinity and support and so I say nothing. (My lover adores the attention.) But I find it very uncomfortable explaining that I don’t like it (P.I.?) I am not homophobic, it just takes me a little bit longer than most to get to know someone and be by Rupert Kinnard Very few people know that the original “Miss Thing” hailed from my home town, Chicago, and that he was a black homosex ual named Diva Touche Flambe. Often refer red to as the he/she/it girl, Diva Touche Flambe (not his Christian [sicj name), but it able to touch them. How can I explain it to people? Most have just laughed and hugged me all the m o re. . . Touched" in Portland Dear “Touched", There seems to be, in some people’s minds, no difference between a greeting and a personal, even erotic display of affection. Having a “touchy” upbringing does not imply that one should respond more eagerly to gestures that violate one’s own space. Be coming a warmer, more “feeling” person is not the issue here. What is, is one’s right to control one's own body and access to it Even if you do in time become someone who en joys being hugged by total strangers you still will want the right to say “hands off” on occa has always been the prerogative of a Diva to give herself a more fitting moniker at a certain age; in fact it is expected of her) relished in the idea of being a black sissy. For Diva Touche being gay was much more a matter of style than a matter of common sex. Why, me and my running buddy Tony Gallaway couldn’t imagine Miss Thing on her knees for any thing, unless there was a down filled pillow nearby. Such considerations limited the po tential of her more seedy adventures to more respected places. Back in those days I wasn’t nearly as "out” as the Diva, but since I was stubborn enough not to give in to the pressures of my peer group (which consisted of young black macho types) to be more like them, I did hang out with Miss Thing. Every time the Diva would do something grand, me and Tony would squeal in delight “Dieve on, Miss Thing!" It really helped The Diva to have a cheering section, especially since Tony and I would make enough noise for a crowd of nine. Actually, The Diva commanded much more respect than a lot of people wanted to give her credit for. I always thought of her as a by Douglas Bloch ARIES, The Ram The Sign of the PIONEER Personal, Cardinal Fire Sign Fire Image — A Shooting Star lam Just Out, March 30-April 13 The passage of the sun into Aries heralds the birth of spring and the initiation of the Zodiac. During this time of renewal, life awa kens from its winter slumber. Seedlings burst through the soil, buds unfold and animals emerge from hibernation. Likewise, the Aries experiences an explosion of life energy that propels it forward in a kind of perpetual m o tion. Fleeing the spectres of boredom and stagnation, it thrives in a state of eternal activ ity. Aries, therefore, is our Zodiacal pioner. daring to trespass into unknown realms of human experience. Thomas Jefferson, bom under the sign of the ram, authored the re volutionary Declaration of Independence while Charles Chaplin used his Aries drive to become the first star of the silent screen. In its headlong rush forward, Aries uses its ramlike horns to butt its way towards its goal. vice sion. Unfortunately, explaining the situation to strangers does not work. As you men tioned, people tend to ignore vocal objec tions to being handled. You can explain it to your friends, but acquaintances may think that you are joking. Your solution is to clearly demonstrate your wishes in the matter. With this in mind we suggest the following. 1. Step back. This is the clearest signal and unfortunately the one most likely to of fend. Use this suggestion sparingly, and smile. 2. Use the warm handshake. As the hug ging stranger comes towards you, clasp both of their hands with your own bearing an expression that says, "You are a stranger to me now, but I hope that I get to know you so that a more affectionate greeting will be possible." 3. Be late. Arrive after most of the kissing and greeting is over with. People may not want to get up just to kiss you hello. Many times being touched is not avoid able. Often the issue is blurred by the pre sence of erotic interest on the part of the touchee or toucher. In these cases you may have to grin and bear it Remembering that only affection is intended will lessen your dis comfort. But you've probably heard that one before. very strong cornerstone of my neighbor hood. But I guess that could be due to the respect I awarded to anyone who could wear pleated gym shorts to Phys. Ed. He also had the distinct honor of being the first to suggest that chit lins in an egg, cheese, and cream custard, baked in a pie shell would make a hot dish to serve on Sunday between breakfast time and lunch time! And this was back in 1968, before the idea of quiche or brunch had caught on. Definitely a Diva be fore her time. • The reason Miss Thing was looked upon as hot by some and as a freak by others, was based on how people accepted the fact that she never seemed to wallow in any insec urities or pity. Some admired how self- assured she seemed; others became extremely jealous of her. She, of course, won my heart when I first saw her at the high school talent show, singing, “Ooo, baby, baby," just the way one would expect Eartha Kitt to sing it She sang it directly to Mr. Sheehan, our Principal. Tony and I screamed for days. And only the Diva could get away with asking Abdullah, our high school Black Panther representative, if she could walk him home, after school, and offer to carry his books. A while back I happened upon the 1976 film Car Wash, on late night television. There is a scene in the movie which features one of the great quips The Diva made famous in the late '60s. A black, gay character replies to a comm ent made by a black militant, that he (the sissy) had been corrupted by the white man and had been robbed of his masculinity. The gay character replies with a comment that originated from the Diva: “Honey, I'm more more man than you’ll ever be, and more woman than you’ll ever get” That line, forever immortalized in film, just may be The Diva’s lasting claim to fame. There is a great lesson to be learned from The Diva. She never backed from who he was. And since Divas like Miss Thing never truly die, I had often wondered what he could be up to these days. Last I heard, she had opened up a chain of soul food restaurants in Chicago, called (what else?) "Miss Thang's." His specialty? Chiterling quiche. Dieve on, Miss Thing, Dieve on. This headstrong, assertive attack, while effec tive at times, often leads to the chaos of a forest fire raging out of control. The firey Aries needs to find productive ways to direct and channel its inexhaustable supply of en ergy. Consequently, Aries is followed by the fixed earth sign Taurus. As the newborn of the Zodiac, Aries pos sesses a spontaneous, playful, childlike na ture. Like the child, it sometimes becomes overly involved in its own world and ignores the needs of others. Hence, it must learn the lessons of cooperation expressed in the complementary sign, Libra. Anatomically, Aries corresponds to the head, the seat of the brain, our instrument of higher thinking. All actions spring from thought The homes we live in, the clothes we wear, the words on this page — each initially existed as an idea in someone’s mind. As a generator of innovative ideas that can expand the frontiers of human awareness, the Aries has no equal. Thus, it must strive to find creative outlets for its pioneering instinct and not become trapped in a job, marriage or relationship that will limit its need to move ever forward. People born with the Sun in Aries Thomas Jefferson Charles Chaplin Dane Rudhyar Johann Sebastian Bach Vincent Van Gogh Clarence Darrow Erich From m Linda Goodman Marlon Brando Wilhelm Reich Richard Alpert (Baba Ram Das) Leonardo da Vinci 13 r
